i dunno....
last night, once again, i got in a fight with my grandma. and once again she told me that she might as well call my mom and tell her that i want to go live with her. NO I DONT!!!!! i hate this. everytime we get in a fight, she threatens me that shes going to send me to live with my mom. i dont want to leave. if i wanted to leave i wouldve left a long time ago! but i dont! i have so much here. i have tony here!!! what am i going to do without him?? usually, i would say that my grandma was just bluffing,
buuuuuuuttttt.......
this time she asked me for my moms number and then took my phone away. she said that shes going to call my mom. im sooo scared that the phones going to ring and its going to be my mom telling me how bad i fucked up and how im stupid and how shes putting me on a plane and taking me to salt lake. that would kill me!! i know what my grandma is capable of. shes soooo manipulative!! shes capable of telling my mom anything to make me look like a little brat that just walks all over her and takes advantage of her "good heart", blah, blah, blah!!! what am i going to do?!?!?!?!
what scares me most is being away from tony. i dunno what i would do with out him. this is tony's last year. hes leaving next year, hes going to college and away from me. but at least hes going to be in the same state. plus, he would be coming home to see his family and stuff. it'll be bad, but not too bad. but, if i go to utah, i would be in another state, and i wouldnt be coming back to see family as often as i would like. im not scared of us breaking up. im not going to break up with him. the only way our relationship could end is i he breaks up with me. he tells me that thats not going to happen. and i trust him. more than anything. i know he means what he says. its the time that is going to be lost that scares me. we would lose so much time, time that we would never get back. its time that would break my heart.
hopefully, nothing happens. hopefully, my grandma didnt act irrationally. hopefully, shes calmed down. hopefully ive been spared this time. if not, i know i will be devastated.
hopefully....
buuuuuuuttttt.......
this time she asked me for my moms number and then took my phone away. she said that shes going to call my mom. im sooo scared that the phones going to ring and its going to be my mom telling me how bad i fucked up and how im stupid and how shes putting me on a plane and taking me to salt lake. that would kill me!! i know what my grandma is capable of. shes soooo manipulative!! shes capable of telling my mom anything to make me look like a little brat that just walks all over her and takes advantage of her "good heart", blah, blah, blah!!! what am i going to do?!?!?!?!
what scares me most is being away from tony. i dunno what i would do with out him. this is tony's last year. hes leaving next year, hes going to college and away from me. but at least hes going to be in the same state. plus, he would be coming home to see his family and stuff. it'll be bad, but not too bad. but, if i go to utah, i would be in another state, and i wouldnt be coming back to see family as often as i would like. im not scared of us breaking up. im not going to break up with him. the only way our relationship could end is i he breaks up with me. he tells me that thats not going to happen. and i trust him. more than anything. i know he means what he says. its the time that is going to be lost that scares me. we would lose so much time, time that we would never get back. its time that would break my heart.
hopefully, nothing happens. hopefully, my grandma didnt act irrationally. hopefully, shes calmed down. hopefully ive been spared this time. if not, i know i will be devastated.
hopefully....