2 Down, 70 to Go!!
well, today was mine and tony's two month anniversery. or should i say "month-a-versery". i cant believe how fast times have gone by!! it seems like only yesterday that tony was asking me to go watch a movie with him! it feels good that things have gone fast. that only means that the future will come that much faster and we'll be one step closer to the perfect life we dream of. whew! just flies by!!
i have a confession.....i did something stupid yesterday. you know the saying "curiousity killed the cat" ? well, my curiousity just about killed me yesterday. i went back and read tony's other journal entries. then i went and read a certain girl's journals. ill admit...i cried. it kindda made me feel like i was second best, you know. i mean, she was the first serious girlfriend in his house. his parents met her first. it kindda make me feel like i have to live up to her impression, her standard. and then i cant stop there. i have to work even harder to surpass that. dont get me wrong, tony is more than worth the effort. i love him sooo much. its just that now i can never be sure if his parents compare me to her, or even prefer her over me. after all, his parents approval is very important. especially since im going to spend the rest of my life with him. it just got me thinking, am i really making him happier than he once was? am i making him the happiest possible?? it just got me thinking....
BUUUUUT...........
after today, i know thats not even an issue. tony loves me, and i know it. it worries me about the whole parents thing. its always gonna be at the back of my head. but the best i can do is be myself and hopefully that'll be enough to keep both tony and his parents satisfied. after all, i am who i am , and thats who tony fell in love with.
i have a confession.....i did something stupid yesterday. you know the saying "curiousity killed the cat" ? well, my curiousity just about killed me yesterday. i went back and read tony's other journal entries. then i went and read a certain girl's journals. ill admit...i cried. it kindda made me feel like i was second best, you know. i mean, she was the first serious girlfriend in his house. his parents met her first. it kindda make me feel like i have to live up to her impression, her standard. and then i cant stop there. i have to work even harder to surpass that. dont get me wrong, tony is more than worth the effort. i love him sooo much. its just that now i can never be sure if his parents compare me to her, or even prefer her over me. after all, his parents approval is very important. especially since im going to spend the rest of my life with him. it just got me thinking, am i really making him happier than he once was? am i making him the happiest possible?? it just got me thinking....
BUUUUUT...........
after today, i know thats not even an issue. tony loves me, and i know it. it worries me about the whole parents thing. its always gonna be at the back of my head. but the best i can do is be myself and hopefully that'll be enough to keep both tony and his parents satisfied. after all, i am who i am , and thats who tony fell in love with.