(no subject)
I am so sorry for saying this and really admitting it but I want Cody back so bad. I miss him so much! No one else compares to him :( I've been hanging out with John who seems to really like me and he is really cool and such a sweetheart but idk about us. And plue I know he is going back to SC in a month or two so that wont be good. And then theres Jason...oh Jason. Cool kid and use to seriously be in love with him but we never hang out and it pisses me off! Theres a 17 year old boy at work totally in love with me and wants to bring me out to dinner and stuff but (besides how young he is) I just dont want to. On the fouth I got pretty wasted and kissed this guy at my friends house and for some reason I drunken called Cody and told him and now I really fucked things up with that. Cody told him he didnt want me out of his life but because I went off and kissed a boy and he doesnt know what else I do when I get drunk pretty much he doesnt want anything to do with me :( It just kills me even harder. I've tried to go hang out with other guys and keep my mind off of Cody and see what else there is out there and I know its only been a month but even when Im with other guys I find myself thinking about Cody and holding back from even talking about him. I love the kid...why does it have to be so hard? Im so sad. I just want us to be together and be that awesome couple we once were...like I dont want the status of being broken up but maybe more like on a break. But that is really cliche and we were "on a break" once already and that didnt work out. Like seriously if I found out he kissed a girl I would be hurt but as long as he is calling me and texting me and being honest with me and telling me how he still wants to be with me it would make up for it. Because I know I just want some affection every now and then. And since we arent together then who else am I suppose to get that from? My dog? HAHA. I just dont know what to do. I guess I should let him go... :(