WARNING: PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: READ, THEN EXIT TOWN QUICKLY.........WARNING: PUBLIC SERVICE A
I regret to inform you all that our beloved Angie has been turned into a zombie.
In the middle of the night, in the three hours she was sleeping, Angie exhibited chills, a headache, increase in body temperature and other symptoms such as a stuffy nose and stomach cramps. When she awoke, these symptoms disappeared and gave way to a feeling (if it can be called as such) of brainlessness, disorientation, a strong desire for The Killers and an even more insatiable, incredible need to find food. This particular need was only briefly satiated with breakfast and lunch in the cafeteria.
As there is no evidence of a bite inflicted by an actual zombie on any part of her body...er, corpse-we have reason to believe that it is the result of a deadly combination: serious sleep deprivation, too much radioactive scrambled egg in the cafeteria, and mental fatigue due to a grammar test suffered this afternoon.
Now, we all know that this is not the normal way for people to become zombies. However, it is just a speculation. I repeat that there is no other evidence of any sort of wound on her person. The only other thing we can infer is that the cuts she recieved on her knee and chin when she fell out of her loft earlier this semester somehow came in contact with a zombie virus and the symptoms are only surfacing now, several months later. Although this is plausible, it is highly unlikely. It is more reasurring to the rest of the population and their own skins, especially her rommate's, that the former is the case: that it is not due to an infectious virus but rather as a result of her harsh insomniac lifestyle.
For more information, these resources are available:
http://members.aol.com/lshauser/zomboid.html
http://consc.net/zombies.html
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/zombies/
http://www2.oprah.com/index.jhtml
The only known cure is to somehow get her under control, and bring her a chicken baja chalupa, a crunchy taco, and a soft taco from the fast food franchise Taco Bell. It is the only way.
In the middle of the night, in the three hours she was sleeping, Angie exhibited chills, a headache, increase in body temperature and other symptoms such as a stuffy nose and stomach cramps. When she awoke, these symptoms disappeared and gave way to a feeling (if it can be called as such) of brainlessness, disorientation, a strong desire for The Killers and an even more insatiable, incredible need to find food. This particular need was only briefly satiated with breakfast and lunch in the cafeteria.
As there is no evidence of a bite inflicted by an actual zombie on any part of her body...er, corpse-we have reason to believe that it is the result of a deadly combination: serious sleep deprivation, too much radioactive scrambled egg in the cafeteria, and mental fatigue due to a grammar test suffered this afternoon.
Now, we all know that this is not the normal way for people to become zombies. However, it is just a speculation. I repeat that there is no other evidence of any sort of wound on her person. The only other thing we can infer is that the cuts she recieved on her knee and chin when she fell out of her loft earlier this semester somehow came in contact with a zombie virus and the symptoms are only surfacing now, several months later. Although this is plausible, it is highly unlikely. It is more reasurring to the rest of the population and their own skins, especially her rommate's, that the former is the case: that it is not due to an infectious virus but rather as a result of her harsh insomniac lifestyle.
For more information, these resources are available:
http://members.aol.com/lshauser/zomboid.html
http://consc.net/zombies.html
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/zombies/
http://www2.oprah.com/index.jhtml
The only known cure is to somehow get her under control, and bring her a chicken baja chalupa, a crunchy taco, and a soft taco from the fast food franchise Taco Bell. It is the only way.