Living My Life for Me
Hello.
So much has changed in my life since my last entry. I have actually started living my life for me instead of all the people that are a part of it. I am doing what I want and looking out for my own best interest. My new lifestyle could even be viewed as selfish, but it is the first time I am considering what I want before someone else's.
I have rid my life of all the negatives...the people that tear me down instead of build me up, those who have hurt me more than helped me.Unfortunately it also meant completely letting go of one of the best friends I have ever had; a person who has been there for me through more than anyone else in my life...simply because I finally realized that this person was not a true friend but a selfish individual with no respect or consideration for me. My heart is cut deep but I will be fine. Its hard to loose two significant people in such a short time...knowing who to turn to now is the worst part. It usually ends up being my pillow at the end of a long night.
However, it has also meant opening up to new people,something that I really hadnt done since early high school. I am expanding my group of friends and find myself out with people I never expected to have anything in common with. I am loving the bar scence, because it is not so sleezy and uncomfortable when you are surrounded by great gilfriends and fun conversation.
The alcohol takes the sting away.
But it wears off in the morning.
I am having a fantastic time creating my new life. I was downtown this weekend at an art store and I saw a saying that I absolutely fell in love with: "Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself."
So many people claim that they are trying to find theirself, like it can be found in a city, or a book, or on vacation or in someone else. I never felt that way. I know myself yet I am constantly updating and improving and creating every day.
Right now I am an immature myself. The kind that throws up 15 minutes into work from a hangover...the kind that has to be practically carried out of a bar...the kind that randomly gives out her number and agrees to a coffee date...the kind that skips class to go downtown...
But it feels good to be carefree and irresponsible and immature for once. Damn it feels good. Its nice to just be twenty one and still have a lot to learn instead of going on thirty already knowing everything anyone could ever tell you.
The girls from work are calling...the bar is calling...but my bed is calling louder...and this beer in my hand is getting warm...
So much has changed in my life since my last entry. I have actually started living my life for me instead of all the people that are a part of it. I am doing what I want and looking out for my own best interest. My new lifestyle could even be viewed as selfish, but it is the first time I am considering what I want before someone else's.
I have rid my life of all the negatives...the people that tear me down instead of build me up, those who have hurt me more than helped me.Unfortunately it also meant completely letting go of one of the best friends I have ever had; a person who has been there for me through more than anyone else in my life...simply because I finally realized that this person was not a true friend but a selfish individual with no respect or consideration for me. My heart is cut deep but I will be fine. Its hard to loose two significant people in such a short time...knowing who to turn to now is the worst part. It usually ends up being my pillow at the end of a long night.
However, it has also meant opening up to new people,something that I really hadnt done since early high school. I am expanding my group of friends and find myself out with people I never expected to have anything in common with. I am loving the bar scence, because it is not so sleezy and uncomfortable when you are surrounded by great gilfriends and fun conversation.
The alcohol takes the sting away.
But it wears off in the morning.
I am having a fantastic time creating my new life. I was downtown this weekend at an art store and I saw a saying that I absolutely fell in love with: "Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself."
So many people claim that they are trying to find theirself, like it can be found in a city, or a book, or on vacation or in someone else. I never felt that way. I know myself yet I am constantly updating and improving and creating every day.
Right now I am an immature myself. The kind that throws up 15 minutes into work from a hangover...the kind that has to be practically carried out of a bar...the kind that randomly gives out her number and agrees to a coffee date...the kind that skips class to go downtown...
But it feels good to be carefree and irresponsible and immature for once. Damn it feels good. Its nice to just be twenty one and still have a lot to learn instead of going on thirty already knowing everything anyone could ever tell you.
The girls from work are calling...the bar is calling...but my bed is calling louder...and this beer in my hand is getting warm...