Fic: She Who Dares (1/3)
Title: She Who Dares
Author: lucklessforhim
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, language.
Word Count: 1780
Pairings: Puck/Quinn, Puck/Rachel.
Summary: I don't know what I've done, or if I like what I've begun. But something told me to run, and honey you know me it's all or none.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of it's characters and I am making no money writing this. It's just for fun. Title and summary taken from "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins.
Beta: divided_poet because she just gets me. Thanks, honey.
Note: My first multi-chaptered fic, and the primary pairing is Puck/Quinn. Please, read and tell me what you think! Seriously, comments absolutely make my day. ♥
Puck dates Rachel their junior year of college. That's the catalyst.
For years they had all quietly coexisted together in what felt like a continuation of high school, just with more alcohol. They all tried new things, found new hobbies, and made new friends. After all, Ohio State was a lot bigger than William McKinley High. They saw less and less of each other, and that was okay. That was what was supposed to happen. Or, at least, that's what everyone told them.
But then Puck started dating Rachel again. Like, seriously dating her, and that's when Quinn started to lose her shit.
Over the years she became able to tolerate Rachel, and even bordered on liking her sometimes. But mostly that came from not having to see her every single day. So, it wasn't necessarily Rachel that Quinn had a problem with.
Or maybe it was Rachel. Maybe she didn't like that Puck was finally seriously dating the nice Jewish girl his mom had always pushed for. Maybe she didn't like that Rachel was finally maturing and becoming the kind of girl that would be good for Puck. Maybe it was the fact that, once again, Quinn felt like Rachel had everything she ever wanted.
See, it all started when they all got back to Columbus after winter break. Over break, Quinn had heard through the grapevine in Lima (bless her mom and her gossip addiction) that the Puckermans and the Berrys had spent part of Hanukkah together. She didn't think much of it...at first. But then, the week that school started, she saw Rachel and Puck together outside the student union. Rachel was holding a paper cup from the coffee shop in gloved hands close to her face and Puck had his arms around her, keeping her warm. They were both wearing the kind of smile that people in love share with one another.
Quinn stood there in shock for a moment, her revised schedule crumpling in her fist. All she could think was that she could still remember a time when that smile was for her and her alone. And then she just felt sick. Because he didn't even think to tell her himself.
Maybe it was naive, but she always thought that when Puck finally decided he was mature enough for an adult relationship, he would come to her. That didn't happen, and Quinn was thrown off her game.
For the next few months Quinn walked around, went through every aspect of her life, with a constant, nearly unbearable weight in her chest. She would find herself thinking about him, and him being with her, way too often. It was distracting, and the weight finally got to a point where she couldn't stand it anymore.
She does the only thing she can, given the circumstances. She shows up at his apartment, five years to the day after the best worst day of her life, drunk. She's not tipsy, she's not buzzed; she's stupid, crying, and completely drunk.
It's raining and she's soaked by the time she reaches his door, dress clinging clumsily to her small body. She knocks (well, bangs is really more like it), and anxiously waits for him to answer, gripping the railing of the walkway outside his door so hard that her knuckles turn white and she feels the bones in her hand grind against the metal bar.
He answers, and at first he looks pissed (why the hell was someone banging on his door at 11:00 at night?) but then once he sees that it's her, he just looks confused. And he looks worried, which only makes Quinn cry harder.
"Quinn? Are you okay?" There's a careful tone to the question because he knows her way too well. If everything were okay, she wouldn't be here.
She's about to answer him, but through the open door Quinn catches a glimpse of Rachel, and all of a sudden she realizes that she doesn't want to mess this up for him. He deserves to be happy, even if it's without her.
"Um." She swallows a new wave of tears. "I'm sorry. I-I-I shouldn't have come here," she stutters before turning back and quickly descending the stairs.
"Wait--!" he calls, starting to follow.
"I'm sorry!" she wails, already halfway down the stairs.
She trips a little on the last step, and that's when he races after her. He runs, and even barefoot, he catches up with her in the middle of the parking lot. He grabs her arm, spins her around to look in her eyes, and yells. He just...screams at her.
"What the hell are you thinking, Quinn?!"
She knows she doesn't have an answer to that, because she wasn't thinking. She never thinks when it comes to him, and that's been her problem since the very beginning. She used to worry that it was a bad thing, something they couldn't survive, but now she's not so sure.
"I don't know!" she yells back. She shakes off his grip and runs through the deep puddles in the parking lot to her car.
She's fumbling with the keys on her key ring, biting her lip, trying to see through rain and tears and too many gin and tonics when he pins her against the car, his hand gripping her shoulder to turn her around.
"Hey! You don't have to say it. I'm leaving, okay?"
"No, you're not. Not like this," he hisses, his breath hot against her ear. He's angry and she can see that all too clearly as he pries the keys from her grip. "What, you think I'm just gonna let you kill yourself? This day is hard enough as it is, Quinn."
She just stares at him for an excruciatingly long moment, the tears coming faster now. She doesn't even try to hold them back now. She just can't.
He takes her arm again to lead her back to the apartment and they get about five steps from the car before she stops. She just...stops, refuses to go any farther.
He looks over at her and asks, "What the hell? Did you forget that it's raining?"
"Why her?" She asks the question just as a huge roll of thunder echoes around them, and she can't decide whether she hopes he hears her wrong or not.
"What do you mean?" he asks in response, because he doesn't have a real answer.
"I waited for you to get your shit together for five years, and you choose her? Rachel?" she asks, deciding that if she comes away from this night with nothing else, she needs an answer.
"Whoa. You waited?" She could see he was ready for a fight now. This, they were good at. Him rescuing her from herself? Not so much. He starts bitterly listing the guys she's dated since him. "Sam, Finn, that kid Michael from your church, Finn again, Travis, that frat douche Jeremy--"
"Were distractions!" she screams over him.
"Distractions from what?" he demands back.
"From loving you, wanting you, not being able to be with you...Take your fucking pick, Noah," she shouts bitterly.
"You love me?" he asks, still borderline angry.
"Yes." Isn't that what she's been trying to tell him?
"You want to be with me?" It was just like he was mocking her now.
"Yes!" she screams at him, crying.
"Okay," he says, taking her hand to lead her back to his apartment.
"Wait...What just happened?" She was way too drunk to process this shit. But she just follows his steps as best she can, still allowing herself to be dragged by the hand back to his apartment like a wayward child
"I want to be with you, too." He looks at her like that should be obvious, and she can't help but feel confused and annoyed.
"What about Rachel?" she asks quietly. Quinn's a bitch, she'll admit that to anyone, but she never really meant to steal Puck. She didn't want to hurt Rachel, she just didn't...think.
"We're gonna talk about this again when you're sober, and if you still want to give it another shot, I'll talk to Rachel after that," he responds just as quietly.
As they walk up the last few steps and he moves to open the door for her, Quinn wonders when he got so responsible. That's the same moment when she's sure she wants this.
Rachel is still there, sitting serenely on the couch, but there's a look on her face like she knows she's about to be heartbroken.
"Everything okay, Noah?" She asks the question so quietly and carefully that Quinn knows she feels the shift in the air between the three of them.
Rachel stares at her as Puck goes to grab Quinn a spare pair of boxers and an old t-shirt to sleep in, and all Quinn can do is fiddle with the hem of her dress under the heat of Rachel's gaze.
Puck comes back into the living room, and notices the looks passing between Rachel and Quinn.
"Yeah, everything's fine," he answers Rachel, handing the clothes and a towel to Quinn. "Quinn is gonna stay the night on the couch."
"Okay," is all Rachel says before taking Puck's hand and leading him back to his bedroom.
Quinn flops down on the couch with a huge sigh and thinks about what just happened, what she just did.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Quinn is lying on the couch, now showered and changed, watching the clock on Puck's cable box and still thinking about how this day might have changed her life for a second time. That's when she hears Rachel as she quietly closes the bedroom door behind her and pads across the apartment to the front door.
Quinn sits up and calls her name, stopping her from the graceful exit she was trying to stage.
"I'm sorry...for showing up like that," she says softly, sincerely, fiddling with the edge of the blanket she was wrapped up in.
"It's okay," Rachel says, even though they both know it really isn't. Even though they both know Quinn can see how red her eyes are, even in the faint light of the apartment.
"I just...wanted you to know that. That I'm really sorry," Quinn whispers, feeling the guilt start to overwhelm her.
"I know," is all Rachel says before slipping silently out the door.
Quinn stares at the door after she leaves. She has no idea what this means, or what's going to happen tomorrow. She thinks she feels hope for the first time in a long time, but the feeling is so foreign that she's not sure. All she knows is she's so tired of missing him.
To Be Continued soon...
Note 2: I am heartbroken watching the news from Japan. I have some fanfiction up for auction (at least 1000 words, higher word count for a higher bid) HERE at help_japan. Please, stop by and bid for a really good cause! Bidding closes March 31!
Thank you for reading! ♥
Author: lucklessforhim
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, language.
Word Count: 1780
Pairings: Puck/Quinn, Puck/Rachel.
Summary: I don't know what I've done, or if I like what I've begun. But something told me to run, and honey you know me it's all or none.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of it's characters and I am making no money writing this. It's just for fun. Title and summary taken from "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins.
Beta: divided_poet because she just gets me. Thanks, honey.
Note: My first multi-chaptered fic, and the primary pairing is Puck/Quinn. Please, read and tell me what you think! Seriously, comments absolutely make my day. ♥
Puck dates Rachel their junior year of college. That's the catalyst.
For years they had all quietly coexisted together in what felt like a continuation of high school, just with more alcohol. They all tried new things, found new hobbies, and made new friends. After all, Ohio State was a lot bigger than William McKinley High. They saw less and less of each other, and that was okay. That was what was supposed to happen. Or, at least, that's what everyone told them.
But then Puck started dating Rachel again. Like, seriously dating her, and that's when Quinn started to lose her shit.
Over the years she became able to tolerate Rachel, and even bordered on liking her sometimes. But mostly that came from not having to see her every single day. So, it wasn't necessarily Rachel that Quinn had a problem with.
Or maybe it was Rachel. Maybe she didn't like that Puck was finally seriously dating the nice Jewish girl his mom had always pushed for. Maybe she didn't like that Rachel was finally maturing and becoming the kind of girl that would be good for Puck. Maybe it was the fact that, once again, Quinn felt like Rachel had everything she ever wanted.
See, it all started when they all got back to Columbus after winter break. Over break, Quinn had heard through the grapevine in Lima (bless her mom and her gossip addiction) that the Puckermans and the Berrys had spent part of Hanukkah together. She didn't think much of it...at first. But then, the week that school started, she saw Rachel and Puck together outside the student union. Rachel was holding a paper cup from the coffee shop in gloved hands close to her face and Puck had his arms around her, keeping her warm. They were both wearing the kind of smile that people in love share with one another.
Quinn stood there in shock for a moment, her revised schedule crumpling in her fist. All she could think was that she could still remember a time when that smile was for her and her alone. And then she just felt sick. Because he didn't even think to tell her himself.
Maybe it was naive, but she always thought that when Puck finally decided he was mature enough for an adult relationship, he would come to her. That didn't happen, and Quinn was thrown off her game.
For the next few months Quinn walked around, went through every aspect of her life, with a constant, nearly unbearable weight in her chest. She would find herself thinking about him, and him being with her, way too often. It was distracting, and the weight finally got to a point where she couldn't stand it anymore.
She does the only thing she can, given the circumstances. She shows up at his apartment, five years to the day after the best worst day of her life, drunk. She's not tipsy, she's not buzzed; she's stupid, crying, and completely drunk.
It's raining and she's soaked by the time she reaches his door, dress clinging clumsily to her small body. She knocks (well, bangs is really more like it), and anxiously waits for him to answer, gripping the railing of the walkway outside his door so hard that her knuckles turn white and she feels the bones in her hand grind against the metal bar.
He answers, and at first he looks pissed (why the hell was someone banging on his door at 11:00 at night?) but then once he sees that it's her, he just looks confused. And he looks worried, which only makes Quinn cry harder.
"Quinn? Are you okay?" There's a careful tone to the question because he knows her way too well. If everything were okay, she wouldn't be here.
She's about to answer him, but through the open door Quinn catches a glimpse of Rachel, and all of a sudden she realizes that she doesn't want to mess this up for him. He deserves to be happy, even if it's without her.
"Um." She swallows a new wave of tears. "I'm sorry. I-I-I shouldn't have come here," she stutters before turning back and quickly descending the stairs.
"Wait--!" he calls, starting to follow.
"I'm sorry!" she wails, already halfway down the stairs.
She trips a little on the last step, and that's when he races after her. He runs, and even barefoot, he catches up with her in the middle of the parking lot. He grabs her arm, spins her around to look in her eyes, and yells. He just...screams at her.
"What the hell are you thinking, Quinn?!"
She knows she doesn't have an answer to that, because she wasn't thinking. She never thinks when it comes to him, and that's been her problem since the very beginning. She used to worry that it was a bad thing, something they couldn't survive, but now she's not so sure.
"I don't know!" she yells back. She shakes off his grip and runs through the deep puddles in the parking lot to her car.
She's fumbling with the keys on her key ring, biting her lip, trying to see through rain and tears and too many gin and tonics when he pins her against the car, his hand gripping her shoulder to turn her around.
"Hey! You don't have to say it. I'm leaving, okay?"
"No, you're not. Not like this," he hisses, his breath hot against her ear. He's angry and she can see that all too clearly as he pries the keys from her grip. "What, you think I'm just gonna let you kill yourself? This day is hard enough as it is, Quinn."
She just stares at him for an excruciatingly long moment, the tears coming faster now. She doesn't even try to hold them back now. She just can't.
He takes her arm again to lead her back to the apartment and they get about five steps from the car before she stops. She just...stops, refuses to go any farther.
He looks over at her and asks, "What the hell? Did you forget that it's raining?"
"Why her?" She asks the question just as a huge roll of thunder echoes around them, and she can't decide whether she hopes he hears her wrong or not.
"What do you mean?" he asks in response, because he doesn't have a real answer.
"I waited for you to get your shit together for five years, and you choose her? Rachel?" she asks, deciding that if she comes away from this night with nothing else, she needs an answer.
"Whoa. You waited?" She could see he was ready for a fight now. This, they were good at. Him rescuing her from herself? Not so much. He starts bitterly listing the guys she's dated since him. "Sam, Finn, that kid Michael from your church, Finn again, Travis, that frat douche Jeremy--"
"Were distractions!" she screams over him.
"Distractions from what?" he demands back.
"From loving you, wanting you, not being able to be with you...Take your fucking pick, Noah," she shouts bitterly.
"You love me?" he asks, still borderline angry.
"Yes." Isn't that what she's been trying to tell him?
"You want to be with me?" It was just like he was mocking her now.
"Yes!" she screams at him, crying.
"Okay," he says, taking her hand to lead her back to his apartment.
"Wait...What just happened?" She was way too drunk to process this shit. But she just follows his steps as best she can, still allowing herself to be dragged by the hand back to his apartment like a wayward child
"I want to be with you, too." He looks at her like that should be obvious, and she can't help but feel confused and annoyed.
"What about Rachel?" she asks quietly. Quinn's a bitch, she'll admit that to anyone, but she never really meant to steal Puck. She didn't want to hurt Rachel, she just didn't...think.
"We're gonna talk about this again when you're sober, and if you still want to give it another shot, I'll talk to Rachel after that," he responds just as quietly.
As they walk up the last few steps and he moves to open the door for her, Quinn wonders when he got so responsible. That's the same moment when she's sure she wants this.
Rachel is still there, sitting serenely on the couch, but there's a look on her face like she knows she's about to be heartbroken.
"Everything okay, Noah?" She asks the question so quietly and carefully that Quinn knows she feels the shift in the air between the three of them.
Rachel stares at her as Puck goes to grab Quinn a spare pair of boxers and an old t-shirt to sleep in, and all Quinn can do is fiddle with the hem of her dress under the heat of Rachel's gaze.
Puck comes back into the living room, and notices the looks passing between Rachel and Quinn.
"Yeah, everything's fine," he answers Rachel, handing the clothes and a towel to Quinn. "Quinn is gonna stay the night on the couch."
"Okay," is all Rachel says before taking Puck's hand and leading him back to his bedroom.
Quinn flops down on the couch with a huge sigh and thinks about what just happened, what she just did.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Quinn is lying on the couch, now showered and changed, watching the clock on Puck's cable box and still thinking about how this day might have changed her life for a second time. That's when she hears Rachel as she quietly closes the bedroom door behind her and pads across the apartment to the front door.
Quinn sits up and calls her name, stopping her from the graceful exit she was trying to stage.
"I'm sorry...for showing up like that," she says softly, sincerely, fiddling with the edge of the blanket she was wrapped up in.
"It's okay," Rachel says, even though they both know it really isn't. Even though they both know Quinn can see how red her eyes are, even in the faint light of the apartment.
"I just...wanted you to know that. That I'm really sorry," Quinn whispers, feeling the guilt start to overwhelm her.
"I know," is all Rachel says before slipping silently out the door.
Quinn stares at the door after she leaves. She has no idea what this means, or what's going to happen tomorrow. She thinks she feels hope for the first time in a long time, but the feeling is so foreign that she's not sure. All she knows is she's so tired of missing him.
To Be Continued soon...
Note 2: I am heartbroken watching the news from Japan. I have some fanfiction up for auction (at least 1000 words, higher word count for a higher bid) HERE at help_japan. Please, stop by and bid for a really good cause! Bidding closes March 31!
Thank you for reading! ♥