Stupid emotional me
For those who don't know, the company I'm currently working for is owned by a man I knew in college. (I'm really proud of his success and happy to help him build upon it.) However, last week he made a joking comment that reminded me of 'accusations' made by people I knew in Athens; that I am overly sensitive about things.
Back then, I thought a lot about what they'd said and came to the conclusion that I like that I am an empathetic person who tries to be careful with the feelings of those people around me, and if my trade-off was being overly sensitive, then I would just have to accept that. I knew many people who were complete jerks when it suited their needs, and I had no interest in being more like them.
The problem with all of this is that I typically get hurt when it feels like people I care about are being thoughtless. Case in point: I'm currently at work trying to fight back tears because of something I found out today. The situation could probably be explained and I'm sure I wasn't singled out, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel pretty damn upset with someone I'd thought was a really good friend.
It sounds stupid to say, but I like to like people. Every person I see as a friend I do so because there is something in that person that I find remarkable. But it seems that, far too often, the people I hold in high regard, and who have convinced me that we are indeed friends, have no problem with stepping on my feelings. And this stupid pattern seems to happen over and over. A friend is someone you choose to trust. Of course that just makes you all the more vulnerable when they hurt you.
So here I sit; damning myself for being emotional and damning myself for knowing that it will happen again.
Back then, I thought a lot about what they'd said and came to the conclusion that I like that I am an empathetic person who tries to be careful with the feelings of those people around me, and if my trade-off was being overly sensitive, then I would just have to accept that. I knew many people who were complete jerks when it suited their needs, and I had no interest in being more like them.
The problem with all of this is that I typically get hurt when it feels like people I care about are being thoughtless. Case in point: I'm currently at work trying to fight back tears because of something I found out today. The situation could probably be explained and I'm sure I wasn't singled out, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel pretty damn upset with someone I'd thought was a really good friend.
It sounds stupid to say, but I like to like people. Every person I see as a friend I do so because there is something in that person that I find remarkable. But it seems that, far too often, the people I hold in high regard, and who have convinced me that we are indeed friends, have no problem with stepping on my feelings. And this stupid pattern seems to happen over and over. A friend is someone you choose to trust. Of course that just makes you all the more vulnerable when they hurt you.
So here I sit; damning myself for being emotional and damning myself for knowing that it will happen again.