(no subject)
sometimes i forget it actually ever really happened. is she really gone? no one to have late night phone calls with. no one who was there literally at my bed side in that damn fish tank. god i miss her so much.
i can't believe i'm going home in three days. i'm slowly freaking out. i'm tired of switching therapists, i just want to stay with the one i have here, but i know the one at home is good too. i'm dreading this summer. i miss my friends in chicago already and i haven't even left yet. i always feel so happy around them. as much as i hate myself, i'm still happy when i'm with them. i mean seriously who has three bottles of water and gatorade lined up for you after passing out? it was the cutest thing ever.
i really hope that this summer doesn't turn into how i felt last summer. i can't handle that again. i want things to get better, but at the same time i can't stand how i look. my body is killing me just as much as i am killing it.
i can't believe i'm going home in three days. i'm slowly freaking out. i'm tired of switching therapists, i just want to stay with the one i have here, but i know the one at home is good too. i'm dreading this summer. i miss my friends in chicago already and i haven't even left yet. i always feel so happy around them. as much as i hate myself, i'm still happy when i'm with them. i mean seriously who has three bottles of water and gatorade lined up for you after passing out? it was the cutest thing ever.
i really hope that this summer doesn't turn into how i felt last summer. i can't handle that again. i want things to get better, but at the same time i can't stand how i look. my body is killing me just as much as i am killing it.