Jun 07, 2004 01:15
i had a major reality check today. and it wasnt even in a bad way. i got the most valuable employee certificate today at work and it now sits in a frame on the wall over by customer service. it makes me really happy because i work my ass off over there, and it really showed me something. until i started working at best buy, i had nothing. i know making 7.75 isnt really all that much, but its good for a part time job at a retail store. i think im gonna try and move up there that way i can get a raise. my paychecks are gonna be like xmas time. $400 bucks a pop or more. another reality check i had today was i went to aimee's graduation party. that was pretty cool cuz i got to see her family. her mom is awesome. she gave me 20 bucks, which i shouldn't even accept because im not walking. it makes me feel bad. but i dont know what to do about that kind of stuff because i AM getting my diploma. if only i hadnt ditched that one class, i would be walking. i have to go meet with the principal tomorrow. im gonna see if i can walk but not get my diploma until i finish out with my last credit. this last year of high school was really bad. i cant believe i fucked it up so bad mostly. i wish i could do the 2nd semester over again. i had so much stress in my life for the past 2 months because of this, and i just feel like it didnt pay off all the way. i missed work because of it too. i was also late to work on some days because of it. i guess that was the main part of my reality check. school is out. and im not going to college anytime within the next year, so all i have left to occupy my time is work and friends. dont get me wrong, i could probably grow very used to that. but walking or not, i am getting a diploma, and i am closing a chapter in this book that ive been writing my whole life. {hows that for an analogy}. i kinda think about it, and i dont know what to do. it hasnt really hit me that hard yet because its just summer, and this is how it has been forever, but when everyone goes back to school, i wont. and holy shit. thats a scary fuckin thought. sorry, i guess im getting carried away in this. i finally have something of substance to write in here. it seems like this livejournal thing is worthless, but i cant bring myself to get rid of it.
<333brianna