I'm back!
Finding yourself is a lifelong process, but I've made some pretty big strides here in the last couple months. My family has made some big strides of their own, so overall I would say I'm pretty proud of the whole group here, myself included.
After the talk I had with my Mom, and figuring things out after a pretty tremendous freak out before that last post, things have evened over. There has still been some massive craziness, but I think that is just my family. Yes, we're nuts in our way, but mixed nuts sometimes go well together (and sometimes I think mixed nuts with margaritas would be good, but that's only when things are really stressful).
But anyway, here is the calmer, saner way things have been going.
My uncle went on dialysis after a rush to the emergency room about a month ago, and he is doing pretty good. He's taking better care of himself now. He has been living with us for the past 2 1/2 months, which has led to some heavy duty annoying and wanting to throttle him, but after I flipped out on him once, he got the point and everything has evened out. I think the relationship between everyone has gotten deeper and reached a new level of respect that we would not have had without this situation.
He actually intends to move back home soon, because he has found himself a new girlfriend and for the first time, the confirmed lifelong bachelor is saying marriage wouldn't bother him a bit. He intends to renovate his house, to make it more livable for both him and his possible wife. This is all very good news.
Mom has gained new insight into life with this situation, and has been working like crazy to lower her blood sugar, eat right, lose weight and be happier with herself. She's got a new haircut, color, clothes and outlook. Look out world, there's a hot Mama on the prowl, lookin' fine and feeling better than she has in a long time. She's back to work after her very long illnesses, and enjoying herself. I haven't seen her this happy in years. She also has a newer car, after having to let the last one go back to the finance company due to illness. It has a few issues, and it's a gas hog, but it looks nice and does a good job getting around. I think it's helping her get back some independence and start doing things on her own.
My younger brother Tyler has evened out more. He is getting better grades in school, actually doing homework and putting in effort. He and I have been closer, and he and Mom are starting to have Mother/Son days, where they go out and do things, so he has more of the personal attention a teenager needs. We're actually thinking about everyone throwing in together to teach him to drive and get him a little car to learn and run in. He's talking about getting a job this summer, because he has finally learned money does not grow on trees, and we don't have very much of it in the first place, so he shouldn't constantly beg and whine for things, but get them himself if they are important to him. He has even started talking to the ladies, and I think there is one in particular he likes, but he won't own up to it just yet.
So here's what I've been up to.
First and foremost, I made the executive decision not to attend SCAD. It may have been my dream college, it may have been my dream major, but the cost would have been a nightmare, and going up a couple thousand each year. Rationally it would never have worked to pile up that much debt. So I have decided to go for a college closer to the Ancestral Homestead. That way, I get out of the state (which has been a major goal for me), I get a major that isn't exactly what I want, but it is better than nothing and there is a chance to attend SCAD for Grad school and do what I want. We'll see, I'm not rushing things anymore.
I have started back to school, after a year out with the whole Savannah craziness. Right now I'm in spring quarter, taking Accelerated Psychology, Sociology, and Ethics. I used to be a huge procrastinator, but I am actually putting in serious effort and I'm gunning for another Dean's List, but this time I want a 4.0 so I'm really putting in the time and studying in a more responsible way than ever before. I'm really trying and I am working like a dog but I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying it.
I turned 27 on April 7th, and after a meltdown, I feel okay with it. I might not be where I wanted to be by this age, but who is? It's a lifelong process. It's getting there that's important, not the final destination. I'm really starting to take better care of myself. I'm starting to look better and feel better. I went from 189 lbs to 170 currently, and after a chocolate easter crisis, I'm back working at it. I may be flabby and all, but I can work on that too, it isn't the end of the world.
I haven't exactly shoved myself into a social life, because it's hard for me, but I'm easing into different things gradually (which is the best way). Things aren't perfect, but they're getting better. Getting out more with classes is helping exponentially. I actually Speak in class. In front of the Whole Class. I speak to strangers in public once in a while. That's huge. For a social phobic, that is groundbreaking. My Mom almost fell over when I told her. You know, it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. So there is progress.
Also, another ground breaking event; I'm starting to date. One of my Mom's coworkers has a good friend that he thinks would be perfect for me (actually, their whole row thinks so- it's a call center, they work in rows). He works there too, so my Mom has been talking to him and she thinks he's a great guy and would at the very least be a good friend, if not something more. I've started talking to him. His name is Jim, and he is a nice guy. His wife left him for another man, so the divorce is almost finalized and they have a three year old son they share custody of. I'm the first woman he's shown interest in since this whole situation went down, over a year now, so he's pretty tentative too. I think he'll turn out to be a good friend at first. Maybe more, but we're not rushing into anything. We'll see.
Whew! What a post. That is just a small section of what has been going down at the Stars household since I last posted. Things are good. Never perfect, but what is? I'd settle for good any day of the week.
I won't wait so long to update, but right now I've gotta run. There is a big psychology exam I need to study for, and I should start that book report for sociology. But I'll be back! (feel free to add a terminator accent, I usually do. It never gets old).
After the talk I had with my Mom, and figuring things out after a pretty tremendous freak out before that last post, things have evened over. There has still been some massive craziness, but I think that is just my family. Yes, we're nuts in our way, but mixed nuts sometimes go well together (and sometimes I think mixed nuts with margaritas would be good, but that's only when things are really stressful).
But anyway, here is the calmer, saner way things have been going.
My uncle went on dialysis after a rush to the emergency room about a month ago, and he is doing pretty good. He's taking better care of himself now. He has been living with us for the past 2 1/2 months, which has led to some heavy duty annoying and wanting to throttle him, but after I flipped out on him once, he got the point and everything has evened out. I think the relationship between everyone has gotten deeper and reached a new level of respect that we would not have had without this situation.
He actually intends to move back home soon, because he has found himself a new girlfriend and for the first time, the confirmed lifelong bachelor is saying marriage wouldn't bother him a bit. He intends to renovate his house, to make it more livable for both him and his possible wife. This is all very good news.
Mom has gained new insight into life with this situation, and has been working like crazy to lower her blood sugar, eat right, lose weight and be happier with herself. She's got a new haircut, color, clothes and outlook. Look out world, there's a hot Mama on the prowl, lookin' fine and feeling better than she has in a long time. She's back to work after her very long illnesses, and enjoying herself. I haven't seen her this happy in years. She also has a newer car, after having to let the last one go back to the finance company due to illness. It has a few issues, and it's a gas hog, but it looks nice and does a good job getting around. I think it's helping her get back some independence and start doing things on her own.
My younger brother Tyler has evened out more. He is getting better grades in school, actually doing homework and putting in effort. He and I have been closer, and he and Mom are starting to have Mother/Son days, where they go out and do things, so he has more of the personal attention a teenager needs. We're actually thinking about everyone throwing in together to teach him to drive and get him a little car to learn and run in. He's talking about getting a job this summer, because he has finally learned money does not grow on trees, and we don't have very much of it in the first place, so he shouldn't constantly beg and whine for things, but get them himself if they are important to him. He has even started talking to the ladies, and I think there is one in particular he likes, but he won't own up to it just yet.
So here's what I've been up to.
First and foremost, I made the executive decision not to attend SCAD. It may have been my dream college, it may have been my dream major, but the cost would have been a nightmare, and going up a couple thousand each year. Rationally it would never have worked to pile up that much debt. So I have decided to go for a college closer to the Ancestral Homestead. That way, I get out of the state (which has been a major goal for me), I get a major that isn't exactly what I want, but it is better than nothing and there is a chance to attend SCAD for Grad school and do what I want. We'll see, I'm not rushing things anymore.
I have started back to school, after a year out with the whole Savannah craziness. Right now I'm in spring quarter, taking Accelerated Psychology, Sociology, and Ethics. I used to be a huge procrastinator, but I am actually putting in serious effort and I'm gunning for another Dean's List, but this time I want a 4.0 so I'm really putting in the time and studying in a more responsible way than ever before. I'm really trying and I am working like a dog but I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying it.
I turned 27 on April 7th, and after a meltdown, I feel okay with it. I might not be where I wanted to be by this age, but who is? It's a lifelong process. It's getting there that's important, not the final destination. I'm really starting to take better care of myself. I'm starting to look better and feel better. I went from 189 lbs to 170 currently, and after a chocolate easter crisis, I'm back working at it. I may be flabby and all, but I can work on that too, it isn't the end of the world.
I haven't exactly shoved myself into a social life, because it's hard for me, but I'm easing into different things gradually (which is the best way). Things aren't perfect, but they're getting better. Getting out more with classes is helping exponentially. I actually Speak in class. In front of the Whole Class. I speak to strangers in public once in a while. That's huge. For a social phobic, that is groundbreaking. My Mom almost fell over when I told her. You know, it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. So there is progress.
Also, another ground breaking event; I'm starting to date. One of my Mom's coworkers has a good friend that he thinks would be perfect for me (actually, their whole row thinks so- it's a call center, they work in rows). He works there too, so my Mom has been talking to him and she thinks he's a great guy and would at the very least be a good friend, if not something more. I've started talking to him. His name is Jim, and he is a nice guy. His wife left him for another man, so the divorce is almost finalized and they have a three year old son they share custody of. I'm the first woman he's shown interest in since this whole situation went down, over a year now, so he's pretty tentative too. I think he'll turn out to be a good friend at first. Maybe more, but we're not rushing into anything. We'll see.
Whew! What a post. That is just a small section of what has been going down at the Stars household since I last posted. Things are good. Never perfect, but what is? I'd settle for good any day of the week.
I won't wait so long to update, but right now I've gotta run. There is a big psychology exam I need to study for, and I should start that book report for sociology. But I'll be back! (feel free to add a terminator accent, I usually do. It never gets old).