(no subject)
I am so tired of being second in everyones life. For once, just once i want to be put first, or is that asking too much?
I dont know what happened, maybe it was the thought of losing my best friend that made me break down last night. I guess the words that i was told, "she has him, she doesn't need you anymore" actually starting sinking in.
I figured out what i do, i surround myself with guys when i want to feel needed and its starting to disgust me. Sure, they are all great guys...but i want one guy, not all of them. I want something different, someone who is just fun. I think that is why matt is starting to sound better and better...i think saturday we're gonna have alittle talk.
You know, it doesn't bother me that you dont want to be my friend. It doesn't bother me that you stooped to the level of blocking me again, or even the fact that i haven't had a civil conversation with you for a while. But you know what does bother me, i took the time to write you something at the end of last year, and you have yet to give me any response to it. I put my heart into it, told you how things felt on my end of our friendship and got nothing. I guess thats the story of my life...
I really need to find another way to deal with stress...my ways are horrible, but it is the only ways i know.
(i dont care if none of this made sense. i dont care if you dont get it. all that matters is that the people that need to know what is going on, and that is it.
I dont know what happened, maybe it was the thought of losing my best friend that made me break down last night. I guess the words that i was told, "she has him, she doesn't need you anymore" actually starting sinking in.
I figured out what i do, i surround myself with guys when i want to feel needed and its starting to disgust me. Sure, they are all great guys...but i want one guy, not all of them. I want something different, someone who is just fun. I think that is why matt is starting to sound better and better...i think saturday we're gonna have alittle talk.
You know, it doesn't bother me that you dont want to be my friend. It doesn't bother me that you stooped to the level of blocking me again, or even the fact that i haven't had a civil conversation with you for a while. But you know what does bother me, i took the time to write you something at the end of last year, and you have yet to give me any response to it. I put my heart into it, told you how things felt on my end of our friendship and got nothing. I guess thats the story of my life...
I really need to find another way to deal with stress...my ways are horrible, but it is the only ways i know.
(i dont care if none of this made sense. i dont care if you dont get it. all that matters is that the people that need to know what is going on, and that is it.