"this will be the greatest war the world has ever seen."
so, where to begin. how about TROY? okay.
so, on friday i come home from school and my dad is in from working on the farm at like 3:30 and i'm like "wow, how weird is that." then i go into the living room and a preview of TROY is on the TV, i freak the fuck out and then i remember, IT'S FRIDAY! PREMIRE OF TROY DAY! fuck yeah, bitches. it was a good feeling -- like forgetting something then getting twice as excited.
okay, so they totally BUTCHERED the plot of homer's the illiad but still, it was good. i mean they made a 10 year war into like 2 weeks. menalaus doesn't die, there is no such person as briseis, achilles dies WAY before they sack troy, paris is killed by menalaus, helen goes back to sparta with menalaus. the biggest part and the part I WISH they would have put in was when clymnestra kills agamemnon. seeing brad pitt's ass wasn't HALF as good as seeing orlando bloom's happy trail. um and i'm talking the shot was DANGEROUSLY low. phfffew... he was sweaty and glistening and MAN!!! he's SO MY BOYFRIEND.
achilles' part wasn't as good. he was focused on WAY WAY WAY too much. brad pitt wasn't spectacular. achilles seemed more arrogant than anything in this movie. i know he's like "oh oh, i'm immortal" but achilles has a different side and it's only really shown in two scenes (with thetis and briseis) and the scene with briseis is mediocre. i just didn't really feel the tortured soul exuding from brad pitt. but when he kills the big ass guy at the beginning that was a beast.
paris. *sigh* pretty, pretty prince paris. as much as i hate to say it, i just didn't feel the love between him and helen. probably because orlando, eric bana, and brad pitt are prettier than her. they didn't give the "paris woes helen and they fall madly in love" side enough time on screen. BUT with the time they did, i'm not complaining. i got to see orlando PRACTICALLY NAKED. thanks wolfgang, you made me and every other girl's dreams come true. i thought orlando did a good job acting as the love sick pussy and then he got all manly at the end with his lothlorien bow and arrow. my favorite paris scene? when he crawls back to hector.
hector is a different story in himself. i think eric bana did an amazing job portraying hector. he had SO MANY more levels than achilles and it showed. i think his was the best performance in the movie. i almost screamed when he stuck it to menalaus. partly because i wasn't expecting it and partly, well, because it was exciting. the scene on the boat back to troy when paris reveals that he brought helen aboard was good. how he was such a big brother chastising paris and pushing him and trying to tell paris he knows nothing of the world, just the walls of troy. not to mention, HECTOR VS. AJAX? good fight scene, but not as good as how angry hector looked fighting faux achilles/patroclus. and then when he swipped achille's armor and achilles was all WOAH. did you SEE when he slit patroclus' throat? i totally felt the compassion between him and his wife when he showed her the way out of troy. like he knew his duties but he still wanted to be there for his son.
HELEN. my girl, helen. let's skip over diane kruger because 1) i'm jealous of her; 2) she's not that pretty. i mean we're talking the fact that launched a thousand ships here, not her. look outside your own country, wolfgang. 3) i'm jealous; 4) she got to have fake sex with orlando. OH AND I'M JEALOUS.
brian cox went a little overboard as agamemnon. the guy who played him in the USA helen of troy was so much better. his personality wasn't as big but he was still power hungry and wanted to see troy burn. peter o'toole was good, especially presenting paris the sword of troy (which is later given to aeneas who founded rome, just a little history for ya) and asking achilles back for hector. his eyes are just so old and wise and he was perfect for a worn out king like priam.
i would have been much happier if they had stuck to the original 10 year time line and done like a little quickie review (ex. lotr: fotr beginning) and had an voice over and then gotten to the last couple of weeks when everything went down. but if you like epic battle scenes, go see this movie. if you like orlando, duh -- go see it. if you love me, go see it. it's the big epic, major motion picture, with a face to go with the title, but overall it's a good adaptation of a even better story.
GO SEE IT. it was hotter than your mom.
"by tonight you will have no eyes. you will have no tounge. you will walk the underworld blind, deaf, and dumb and everyone will know, this is hector: the man who thought he killed achilles."
P.S. megan t-bury and i are going to see it tomorrow after school. :) yayness.
so, on friday i come home from school and my dad is in from working on the farm at like 3:30 and i'm like "wow, how weird is that." then i go into the living room and a preview of TROY is on the TV, i freak the fuck out and then i remember, IT'S FRIDAY! PREMIRE OF TROY DAY! fuck yeah, bitches. it was a good feeling -- like forgetting something then getting twice as excited.
okay, so they totally BUTCHERED the plot of homer's the illiad but still, it was good. i mean they made a 10 year war into like 2 weeks. menalaus doesn't die, there is no such person as briseis, achilles dies WAY before they sack troy, paris is killed by menalaus, helen goes back to sparta with menalaus. the biggest part and the part I WISH they would have put in was when clymnestra kills agamemnon. seeing brad pitt's ass wasn't HALF as good as seeing orlando bloom's happy trail. um and i'm talking the shot was DANGEROUSLY low. phfffew... he was sweaty and glistening and MAN!!! he's SO MY BOYFRIEND.
achilles' part wasn't as good. he was focused on WAY WAY WAY too much. brad pitt wasn't spectacular. achilles seemed more arrogant than anything in this movie. i know he's like "oh oh, i'm immortal" but achilles has a different side and it's only really shown in two scenes (with thetis and briseis) and the scene with briseis is mediocre. i just didn't really feel the tortured soul exuding from brad pitt. but when he kills the big ass guy at the beginning that was a beast.
paris. *sigh* pretty, pretty prince paris. as much as i hate to say it, i just didn't feel the love between him and helen. probably because orlando, eric bana, and brad pitt are prettier than her. they didn't give the "paris woes helen and they fall madly in love" side enough time on screen. BUT with the time they did, i'm not complaining. i got to see orlando PRACTICALLY NAKED. thanks wolfgang, you made me and every other girl's dreams come true. i thought orlando did a good job acting as the love sick pussy and then he got all manly at the end with his lothlorien bow and arrow. my favorite paris scene? when he crawls back to hector.
hector is a different story in himself. i think eric bana did an amazing job portraying hector. he had SO MANY more levels than achilles and it showed. i think his was the best performance in the movie. i almost screamed when he stuck it to menalaus. partly because i wasn't expecting it and partly, well, because it was exciting. the scene on the boat back to troy when paris reveals that he brought helen aboard was good. how he was such a big brother chastising paris and pushing him and trying to tell paris he knows nothing of the world, just the walls of troy. not to mention, HECTOR VS. AJAX? good fight scene, but not as good as how angry hector looked fighting faux achilles/patroclus. and then when he swipped achille's armor and achilles was all WOAH. did you SEE when he slit patroclus' throat? i totally felt the compassion between him and his wife when he showed her the way out of troy. like he knew his duties but he still wanted to be there for his son.
HELEN. my girl, helen. let's skip over diane kruger because 1) i'm jealous of her; 2) she's not that pretty. i mean we're talking the fact that launched a thousand ships here, not her. look outside your own country, wolfgang. 3) i'm jealous; 4) she got to have fake sex with orlando. OH AND I'M JEALOUS.
brian cox went a little overboard as agamemnon. the guy who played him in the USA helen of troy was so much better. his personality wasn't as big but he was still power hungry and wanted to see troy burn. peter o'toole was good, especially presenting paris the sword of troy (which is later given to aeneas who founded rome, just a little history for ya) and asking achilles back for hector. his eyes are just so old and wise and he was perfect for a worn out king like priam.
i would have been much happier if they had stuck to the original 10 year time line and done like a little quickie review (ex. lotr: fotr beginning) and had an voice over and then gotten to the last couple of weeks when everything went down. but if you like epic battle scenes, go see this movie. if you like orlando, duh -- go see it. if you love me, go see it. it's the big epic, major motion picture, with a face to go with the title, but overall it's a good adaptation of a even better story.
GO SEE IT. it was hotter than your mom.
"by tonight you will have no eyes. you will have no tounge. you will walk the underworld blind, deaf, and dumb and everyone will know, this is hector: the man who thought he killed achilles."
P.S. megan t-bury and i are going to see it tomorrow after school. :) yayness.