and then she'd say, 'it's okay, i got lost on the way, but i'm a supergirl and supergirls don't cry'

[lucked]

Up until now, everything's been easy. As strange as it might be for most people to imagine, Claire Bennet's leap off the Compound has been the best thing that's happened to her yet on Tabula Rasa. Maybe it isn't the healthiest- after all, where the leap from the Compound was supposed to help her shed that mask, come face to face with all that fate'

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[lucked]

"I... well, so I've been thinking about this on and off, obviously," Claire murmurs, her hands toying with her sheets again, gaze darting from place to place before they settle on her hands, the way that they can't seem to stop fussing or moving. "Most people seem pretty convinced that all of us will disappear in a few years. Some people say that you can't be sure, because there was a Day One and everything, so we could end up just living here until our time's up or whatever. Especially since people with abilities, with magic, all of that is suddenly gone, so obviously whatever brought us here is pretty powerful. But statistically- not that I'm any good with statistics, but this seems like a good 'eyeball it' kind of example- most people don't really stay here much longer than two, maybe three years."

Subconsciously, she starts chewing on her lip, until she realizes that doing so might actually leave a mark for once, instead reaching out to grab her cup of water and taking a small sip. "The problem is, if you start thinking about it too much," Claire continues, "then you start wondering how invested you really want to get here. Because people slip from your fingers so easily."

[floozyfacade]

It's strange, that the way Claire's managed to come up with a ballpark figure for their stay makes Olive love her a little more, but it's so much something she would have done eventually herself, if she hadn't first distracted herself with things like dinosaurs. Maybe that makes it a bit narcissistic, but a lot of love is, Olive sometimes thinks; or, at least, it's often a recognition of an overlap. There are things they have in common and she loves Claire for all of them and for the ways in which they're different, too. Two to three years is a terrifying number, in large part because it's so broad. She's never been one of those who wanted to know when she was going to die because she'd rather fling herself at everything and whatever happens, happens, but she thinks, sometimes, it might be easier to know just how long she has here (but what would she do differently if she did?).

"Yeah," she says, "but it's kinda worth it." Maybe it's just she's yet to lose anyone really important, so it's easier to bear the idea (there was Effy, but she barely knew her). Maybe it's just she feels the need to embrace it because she knows herself well enough to be sure she couldn't hold everyone at arms' length even if she wanted to. She's just not made to shut everyone out - to be secretive, private, at times, and she's good at being alone, but if someone's in her life, she's no good at keeping her distance. "I mean, it's going to suck when everyone goes or if I go home and never see you guys again, it's, it's gonna be the worst. But I'd rather know all of you than spend two to three years only going halfway on all my friendships in case I get hurt. And, and, and with Eduardo, with this - I mean, this is my first boyfriend, my first relationship, and he could... he could disappear at any minute, but you know, so what? High school relationships sometimes don't even last two to three months, and I'd take a month of knowing he loves me over nothing. I think it's gonna hurt no matter what we do, so... we might as well embrace it."

[lucked]

In spite of the halting, the occasional stammer, there's so much surety in Olive's voice that Claire can't help but just stare in awe for a few seconds. She's not sure that she can see completely eye-to-eye with what Olive says, even though she knows that falling deep into everything, the friendships and relationships, is probably something that she can't avoid. As nice as it is in theory to keep a distance from people, to make sure that the pang of separation doesn't cut too deep, Claire can't help but find it nearly impossible to actually hold off. Not when superficiality doesn't seem to be nearly as much of an issue anymore, when there's no pressure on her end to be a cheerleader and climb up in some arbitrary social hierarchy.

"You know, every single part of me wants to believe that, it really does," she says with a deep breath, sighing through her teeth, brow furrowed from the effort. "Which doesn't mean that I'm going to discourage you from just going on ahead with life and enjoying it as, like, something different? Than what we had in our worlds, but. I don't know, maybe I'm just too worried, because I lost a lot back home, and when I left, I was just desperately clinging to what I still had. So I'm always so afraid, especially since here, losing people is like the status quo."

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head, a few strands of hair falling loose. "Not that it really makes a huge difference, since I still like getting to know everyone here anyway, and, and obviously I've made friends. Friends who I care just as much about as the people back home."

[floozyfacade]

"Well, maybe that's the difference," Olive says with a shrug. "I've never... really lost much of anything." She feels guilty for that sometimes, the extraordinary luck she's had just by virtue of being normal, and at others she hates it a little, because at least losing something means there was something to lose. She's not really sorry, though. The biggest thing to slip her grasp was her reputation and a handful of goldfish over the years (dogs, it's turned out, are more reliable companions). That she's mostly been on her own isn't something she can pity herself for when most of the few people she has kept at her side have each been better than a dozen or more shallow friends combined. Maybe when she loses someone, really loses them, she'll change her tune, but even then, she knows herself well enough to be sure even that would be superficial; she just doesn't have it in her to shut anyone out for long. "Plus I talk a lot. I mean, it's scary, of course it is. I'm scared, too. Just... being scared doesn't fix anything, so I may as well make the most of what I've got."