and then she'd say, 'it's okay, i got lost on the way, but i'm a supergirl and supergirls don't cry'

[lucked]

Up until now, everything's been easy. As strange as it might be for most people to imagine, Claire Bennet's leap off the Compound has been the best thing that's happened to her yet on Tabula Rasa. Maybe it isn't the healthiest- after all, where the leap from the Compound was supposed to help her shed that mask, come face to face with all that fate'

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[lucked]

It's never really occurred much to Claire before, to talk to Olive about this in particular, though she's glad for it now. As much as she's been able to finally see the island in a more positive light, the fact still is that she wants to return home. That isn't something she can talk to Eden about at great length, and even with Mary Jane, Claire's a bit hesitant. After all, Mary Jane has found herself an almost idyllic life on the island, has gotten married, and so much more; to try and find solace in the fact that all of this is just temporary seems to be the most tactless thing she could say. But with Olive, who's still new to it all, maybe it's more acceptable. Maybe the two of them can, together, try and figure out how they feel about the island in its entirety, how much they're willing to adapt and become part of it and its populace.

"Yeah, that's... exactly what I mean," Claire sighs with some amount of relief, the heel of her hand rubbing against her eye, her expression one slightly fatigued. "Well, though I guess I've been feeling like that a while before I even came to Tabula Rasa, you know? All the crazy stuff I could do, that I saw, sometimes that didn't feel all that real either, until people I cared for were in danger. It's just weird. Not even a year ago, I was in that exact spot, starting junior year, thinking about SATs and Homecoming, spending my afternoons annoyed by my lazy little brother. Now none of that old life's even here anymore."

[floozyfacade]

"It starts kind of... floating away," Olive says. "Everything that was normal." To a lesser extent, normalcy seemed to be drifting away for her before she even got here, too, but that would have blown over. Bad as it was, she knows, she would have put it to rights eventually and learned to cope with the fallout; it's not even close to the same as having an ability that puts her family in danger. She sighs and shakes her head, free hand tugging idly at the bedsheets. "The way I figure it, it has to end eventually, right? No one's actually stuck here forever. I mean, from what I've heard, there are, like, a few people who've been here from day one, but almost no one's actually been here that long, out of... hundreds of people, so odds are, we get to go home before another year is out. And that's... a long time, but if we enjoy what we've got and make the most of it and keep busy, it's gonna fly right by. And then we'll be home."

She bites her tongue when she finishes, eyes gone wider. While Olive's always been the kind to speak her mind, it's not something she's expressed much, not aloud, and the only person on the island closer to her than Claire is Eduardo. They might both know this is temporary, might even both know it's what she wants most, to go home, but there's no way she can actually say it to him. Speaking the words comes as both a relief and a reason to hold her breath.

[lucked]

"I... well, so I've been thinking about this on and off, obviously," Claire murmurs, her hands toying with her sheets again, gaze darting from place to place before they settle on her hands, the way that they can't seem to stop fussing or moving. "Most people seem pretty convinced that all of us will disappear in a few years. Some people say that you can't be sure, because there was a Day One and everything, so we could end up just living here until our time's up or whatever. Especially since people with abilities, with magic, all of that is suddenly gone, so obviously whatever brought us here is pretty powerful. But statistically- not that I'm any good with statistics, but this seems like a good 'eyeball it' kind of example- most people don't really stay here much longer than two, maybe three years."

Subconsciously, she starts chewing on her lip, until she realizes that doing so might actually leave a mark for once, instead reaching out to grab her cup of water and taking a small sip. "The problem is, if you start thinking about it too much," Claire continues, "then you start wondering how invested you really want to get here. Because people slip from your fingers so easily."

[floozyfacade]

It's strange, that the way Claire's managed to come up with a ballpark figure for their stay makes Olive love her a little more, but it's so much something she would have done eventually herself, if she hadn't first distracted herself with things like dinosaurs. Maybe that makes it a bit narcissistic, but a lot of love is, Olive sometimes thinks; or, at least, it's often a recognition of an overlap. There are things they have in common and she loves Claire for all of them and for the ways in which they're different, too. Two to three years is a terrifying number, in large part because it's so broad. She's never been one of those who wanted to know when she was going to die because she'd rather fling herself at everything and whatever happens, happens, but she thinks, sometimes, it might be easier to know just how long she has here (but what would she do differently if she did?).

"Yeah," she says, "but it's kinda worth it." Maybe it's just she's yet to lose anyone really important, so it's easier to bear the idea (there was Effy, but she barely knew her). Maybe it's just she feels the need to embrace it because she knows herself well enough to be sure she couldn't hold everyone at arms' length even if she wanted to. She's just not made to shut everyone out - to be secretive, private, at times, and she's good at being alone, but if someone's in her life, she's no good at keeping her distance. "I mean, it's going to suck when everyone goes or if I go home and never see you guys again, it's, it's gonna be the worst. But I'd rather know all of you than spend two to three years only going halfway on all my friendships in case I get hurt. And, and, and with Eduardo, with this - I mean, this is my first boyfriend, my first relationship, and he could... he could disappear at any minute, but you know, so what? High school relationships sometimes don't even last two to three months, and I'd take a month of knowing he loves me over nothing. I think it's gonna hurt no matter what we do, so... we might as well embrace it."

[lucked]

In spite of the halting, the occasional stammer, there's so much surety in Olive's voice that Claire can't help but just stare in awe for a few seconds. She's not sure that she can see completely eye-to-eye with what Olive says, even though she knows that falling deep into everything, the friendships and relationships, is probably something that she can't avoid. As nice as it is in theory to keep a distance from people, to make sure that the pang of separation doesn't cut too deep, Claire can't help but find it nearly impossible to actually hold off. Not when superficiality doesn't seem to be nearly as much of an issue anymore, when there's no pressure on her end to be a cheerleader and climb up in some arbitrary social hierarchy.

"You know, every single part of me wants to believe that, it really does," she says with a deep breath, sighing through her teeth, brow furrowed from the effort. "Which doesn't mean that I'm going to discourage you from just going on ahead with life and enjoying it as, like, something different? Than what we had in our worlds, but. I don't know, maybe I'm just too worried, because I lost a lot back home, and when I left, I was just desperately clinging to what I still had. So I'm always so afraid, especially since here, losing people is like the status quo."

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head, a few strands of hair falling loose. "Not that it really makes a huge difference, since I still like getting to know everyone here anyway, and, and obviously I've made friends. Friends who I care just as much about as the people back home."

[floozyfacade]

"Well, maybe that's the difference," Olive says with a shrug. "I've never... really lost much of anything." She feels guilty for that sometimes, the extraordinary luck she's had just by virtue of being normal, and at others she hates it a little, because at least losing something means there was something to lose. She's not really sorry, though. The biggest thing to slip her grasp was her reputation and a handful of goldfish over the years (dogs, it's turned out, are more reliable companions). That she's mostly been on her own isn't something she can pity herself for when most of the few people she has kept at her side have each been better than a dozen or more shallow friends combined. Maybe when she loses someone, really loses them, she'll change her tune, but even then, she knows herself well enough to be sure even that would be superficial; she just doesn't have it in her to shut anyone out for long. "Plus I talk a lot. I mean, it's scary, of course it is. I'm scared, too. Just... being scared doesn't fix anything, so I may as well make the most of what I've got."