Thinking about some stuff
Its been awhile since ive updated but its ok tho. Me and Travis are still together. Yes, i know. Its been a long time. Almost 5 months now. It'll be 5 months on the 8th of January. We are ok. Its gone down hill a bit and im still confused on why? There are little things thats changed. Like the way he greets me at the door or how he says "i love you". Some stuff he says kind of hurts me but maybe its just me. The way im taking it. "How come you say i love you so much?" That one hurt the worst. He said it makes him uncomfortable & he really doesn't want to get too much into this relationship & then it not work out. Sex is great whenever he wants to do it(which isn't often enough). I feel like i have to talk him into having sex with me, & it shouldn't be like that. & when he finally gives into it he says something like "ok fine lets just get it over with?" I feel like i dont please him enough to make him want more then just one time. We have never had sex twice in one sitting. But i guess its because i always have to leave right after. I dont know? Its not just sex either. When we are together hes always paying attention to something else. I mean i dont mind it but sometimes i feel neglected or like hed rather be with someone else. I know he has alot of stuff in his life. School, family, he wants his truck really bad. I know all this, but i have the same thing too & i can still balance time for him. He askes "why am i always at his house?" . . .i just kind of sat there confused on actually why i am there if he doesn't want me to be. I love him. I truly do. He makes me so happy inside & out that i do want to be w/ him all the time but i know that if i do or try to be he'll be freaked out & figure that its going too fast then it ends with me loving him so much and him not caring. He says i love you once in awhile he doesn't saying it proudly, he mumbles. I dont mind this that much because it could be worse. I just wonder if hes getting bored with me or is it just in my head??