Inspire in me the desire in me to never go home.
Despite the fact that everyone has started to get into the season spirit, I feel quite the opposite. In fact, I haven't honestly gotten into the spirit of Christmas, I haven't been in touch with my giving side, nor have I had any desire to feel motivated.
Part of me has been lost due to the distinct lack of Christmas over the past few years. A holiday that I enjoyed.
Our house at home was turned into something magical over the Christmas season. My Mum was fond of making Christmas the time of year to remember. She would decorate the house top to bottom with Santa adorning every corner you went past. She was even one of those annoying people that insisted on Christmas songs for parts of the day. We would light the candles around the fireplace at night, and when I was much younger, she would encourage me to feed the reindeer, put the milk and biscuits out, and make sure that I wrote a lovely letter to Santa.
There was something special about Christmas that made my family look, for once, normal. No fights. No arguments. No dramas. No dysfunctional family to even catch a glimpse of - and be it only one day of the year, now a meaningless day of the year - there was something about it that I will never truly experience anymore with the people who took a good part of my life.
Surprisingly enough, there have been requests that include my presence as being somewhat essential. My father contacting me, requesting that I come home for Christmas when Mum is home. My Nana asking me kindly if I might take her to Ashburton for the day to spend with her son's family. And yet, I'm still completely stumped as to what I will be doing for one day of the year. One day that doesn't really matter anymore.
I'm just hoping that on Christmas day, instead of giving me gifts, Santa will bring me the friends who have supported me yet again over the year, good times, laughs, and a happy day for my closest friends. But most importantly, I'm hoping Santa will bring my Mum a happy, and somewhat memorable day, as she once did for me.
Part of me has been lost due to the distinct lack of Christmas over the past few years. A holiday that I enjoyed.
Our house at home was turned into something magical over the Christmas season. My Mum was fond of making Christmas the time of year to remember. She would decorate the house top to bottom with Santa adorning every corner you went past. She was even one of those annoying people that insisted on Christmas songs for parts of the day. We would light the candles around the fireplace at night, and when I was much younger, she would encourage me to feed the reindeer, put the milk and biscuits out, and make sure that I wrote a lovely letter to Santa.
There was something special about Christmas that made my family look, for once, normal. No fights. No arguments. No dramas. No dysfunctional family to even catch a glimpse of - and be it only one day of the year, now a meaningless day of the year - there was something about it that I will never truly experience anymore with the people who took a good part of my life.
Surprisingly enough, there have been requests that include my presence as being somewhat essential. My father contacting me, requesting that I come home for Christmas when Mum is home. My Nana asking me kindly if I might take her to Ashburton for the day to spend with her son's family. And yet, I'm still completely stumped as to what I will be doing for one day of the year. One day that doesn't really matter anymore.
I'm just hoping that on Christmas day, instead of giving me gifts, Santa will bring me the friends who have supported me yet again over the year, good times, laughs, and a happy day for my closest friends. But most importantly, I'm hoping Santa will bring my Mum a happy, and somewhat memorable day, as she once did for me.