(no subject)
It's been a long year. It wasn't quite so long ago really, I was saving up the first time to just visit Vista for the first time with Shannon. We were going to see Andi, and I remember being so happy for Shannon to find a girl she liked, and a little jealous of Andi too - because I knew I would miss my friend a little, when her heart and time went somewhere else. My first flight, touching the West Coast... the Pacific... I've always been a sailor at heart, blame it on my father... but the ocean spoke to me, as the Atlantic did...
By the time we came back I had begun the friendship with Spring that would eventually bring me back to California the second time, to stay with her and eventually find Shannon... the car wreck on my birthday speeded things up considerably... if she hadn't found out then I was there... I may have gone on putting it off for a long, long time.
It wasn't long before Andi and I became friends in our own right, and my eventual despair at finding a job, which had reached a head around Halloween eventually spread the seed of my decision to join the military - although at the time, I wasn't quite sure if the Navy or the Marines would be better... J told me if I joined the marines she'd kill me herself. I'm glad she did.
Stephanie visiting was a blessing... and such a relief, to see an old friend, to share even a couple of days together... I never doubted leaving Michigan, but it wasn't until then that I realized there would be a few people I could never leave behind. I'm not that kind of person, and even though I don't always say it, or act like it, I do miss all the people I've grown distant from... in my own way.
Moving back home with Shannon was a relief, and yet, a failure too. I'd gotten my friend back, and this flight home was not so lonely as the flight there... but to have to fly home at all, unable to find a job to rent even from a friend... that stung.
When Adelante found out I was back, Albert actually offered my old job back... I was stunned, hell, I thought I would have to beg... they offered part-time, and I came to work, worked a full day, and never heard another word about working part-time.
Of course, the novelty of the old job wore thin quickly, and I was reminded once again why I left in the first place. But things change just on an off chance... a few playful conversations on this wonderful community, and the first of many all-nighters cemented first my friendship with Lissa.. then the eventual need just to hear her voice. I tried not to fall in love with her, but somethings aren't to be denied.
Now I find myself with $350 and a Greyhound ticket, working the last few weeks till Anthony's wedding, in which I will be the best man... Hoping I can save up at least $400 more, and find a job and room or apartment ("Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?" "Ha. Ha. Ha." *Cough*) and... looking back, at the guitars lined up behind me in their rack, my trunk, which contains nearly all the possessions I will take with me; I wonder about basic training in Great Lakes, "A" school and college eventually, how I'm going to make a real career out of music... I know only how much I want to make something real. Only the truely arrogant really think they can make a difference, be unique... and yet, I never quite let go of that dream, or it never let go of me.
It's been a long night.
By the time we came back I had begun the friendship with Spring that would eventually bring me back to California the second time, to stay with her and eventually find Shannon... the car wreck on my birthday speeded things up considerably... if she hadn't found out then I was there... I may have gone on putting it off for a long, long time.
It wasn't long before Andi and I became friends in our own right, and my eventual despair at finding a job, which had reached a head around Halloween eventually spread the seed of my decision to join the military - although at the time, I wasn't quite sure if the Navy or the Marines would be better... J told me if I joined the marines she'd kill me herself. I'm glad she did.
Stephanie visiting was a blessing... and such a relief, to see an old friend, to share even a couple of days together... I never doubted leaving Michigan, but it wasn't until then that I realized there would be a few people I could never leave behind. I'm not that kind of person, and even though I don't always say it, or act like it, I do miss all the people I've grown distant from... in my own way.
Moving back home with Shannon was a relief, and yet, a failure too. I'd gotten my friend back, and this flight home was not so lonely as the flight there... but to have to fly home at all, unable to find a job to rent even from a friend... that stung.
When Adelante found out I was back, Albert actually offered my old job back... I was stunned, hell, I thought I would have to beg... they offered part-time, and I came to work, worked a full day, and never heard another word about working part-time.
Of course, the novelty of the old job wore thin quickly, and I was reminded once again why I left in the first place. But things change just on an off chance... a few playful conversations on this wonderful community, and the first of many all-nighters cemented first my friendship with Lissa.. then the eventual need just to hear her voice. I tried not to fall in love with her, but somethings aren't to be denied.
Now I find myself with $350 and a Greyhound ticket, working the last few weeks till Anthony's wedding, in which I will be the best man... Hoping I can save up at least $400 more, and find a job and room or apartment ("Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?" "Ha. Ha. Ha." *Cough*) and... looking back, at the guitars lined up behind me in their rack, my trunk, which contains nearly all the possessions I will take with me; I wonder about basic training in Great Lakes, "A" school and college eventually, how I'm going to make a real career out of music... I know only how much I want to make something real. Only the truely arrogant really think they can make a difference, be unique... and yet, I never quite let go of that dream, or it never let go of me.
It's been a long night.