The Thinking Place 1/3
Some dread the day they will turn eighteen, and some live their young years in preparation waiting for it; the day your soulmate will be revealed to you through dreams; a day where people, most often, become the happiest on earth.
Byun Baekhyun had never quite known what to think of the whole ordeal, if he were to be totally honest. He was a romantic at heart, wishing for the perfect man to come and sweep him off his feet. Someone tall and handsome would be nice, charming smile and disarming laugh. His soulmate would be clever, funny, chivalrous - but not patronising - and best of all, he would be perfect for Baekhyun. Unfortunately-
“Ooof.” Glancing up, Baekhyun cursed himself for not looking where he was going.
“If you concentrated in the halls as much as you concentrate in my class you wouldn’t have a problem navigating around other people Baekhyun.” Baekhyun flushed red. Unfortunately, his description of the perfect soulmate completely and unintentionally matched up to his exceedingly hot music professor, whose sheet music was now all over the floor. Baekhyun winced and bent down to help pick them up.
“Sorry Sir. Oh! Are these the new Chopin pieces you were talking about ordering?”
“Yes, I was going to mention it in the next class. I knew you’d be pleased. Have you been practicing that nocturne I gave you?” Baekhyun gave an enthusiastic nod of his head, despite his remaining embarrassment.
“I learnt the first five pages last week; I’ll finish it over the weekend.” Baekhyun was without a doubt Mr Park Chanyeol’s best student, being a fantastic pianist and a breathtaking singer; he came out with some of the top grades and admittedly, was also one of the professor’s favourites. The two of them, although keeping things strictly in line, had a slightly more relaxed relationship than with others, chatting together sometimes as fellow musicians and friends rather than teacher and student.
“So soon? Wow Baekhyun, you’re not my best student for nothing.” The teacher smiled and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Thank you for helping me pick these up. I’ll see you in class.” And with that, Mr Park strode off down the corridor, long legs taking him off at a brusque pace. Baekhyun stood for a minute admiring his frame and yeah, okay, his backside. The problem with this was that the teensy tiny crush he had on his professor was certainly not getting any teenier. With a sigh, he carried on walking over to his locker - just two more periods until music and then he could go home.
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
“Okay class, since it’s the end of the week I’ve managed to get hold of a DVD to watch.” The room erupted in cheers, until Mr Park raised a finger. “Ah ah ah but! It’s a documentary on the many aspects of the music industry and what is needed to secure a job in any part of it.” And while everyone groaned and the programme started, Baekhyun sat with Kyungsoo at the back, not really listening.
“Are you excited Baek? It’s your birthday tomorrow! Oh my goodness I’m excited for you! I wonder who your soulmate will be. I hope it’s a guy for your sake, but if it is a girl, then you’ll probably end up loving her anyway, since it’s your soulmate and all.” Baekhyun glanced up quickly, not wanting the whole class eavesdropping in on their conversation - Kyungsoo tended to forget subtlety when he was excited - only to see Mr Park looking their way. Feeling a little embarrassed, the boy gave a small smile before turning his attention back to Kyungsoo and making sure they lowered their voices a little more.
Baekhyun internally sighed. Kyungsoo was one of those people who would have skipped his whole life up to being eighteen just so he could find his beloved more quickly.
“-if it’s Woobin? Ugh, poor you. Stuck with a life of smelling bad and wiping spit off your face, eugh. I swear, I bet not even rabid dogs salivate that much when they open their mouths. Oh my god but what if it’s Mr Park?” That snapped Baekhyun to attention.
“What?!” Baekhyun stage whispered, then glanced towards the front to check that nobody had overheard, again.
“I mean, wouldn’t that be hilarious? Just imagine! You could flirt with him all you liked, and it would keep all those girls at the front from hitting on him too. Damn, he’s so fit.”
“Oh my god Kyungsoo! Shh! I-well I mean, I wouldn’t- but if-” Kyungsoo tried not to cackle as Baekhyun spluttered and blushed like a school girl. When the latter had managed to calm down, he said
“I guess it’d be pretty good, but not gonna happen.” The blush remained on Baekhyun’s face.
“Baek, you and the rest of the world have a crush on Mr Park, let’s face it.”
“I guess so, but Kyung, he’s quite a lot older than us. What if - and this really is if because come on! - But if I do end up dreaming of Mr Park, which I won’t, I’m probably not his soulmate. He’s what, twenty-five? That’s seven years. He’s had his dream; he knows who his lucky person is. Wouldn’t he have said something by now? He’d probably be disgusted and tell me that it’s tough and then I’ll never find love and be alone forever.” Kyungsoo scoffed
“Oh come on, don’t be so dramatic!” Baekhyun just looked depressed now, and Kyungsoo felt a little guilty. “Baek, it’ll all work out in the end. Whoever he or she is, they’ll be just how you want them to be. Isn’t that the whole point? They’re your soulmate. Your perfect partner.” Baekhyun sighed.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Almost as if their professor could feel the negativity coming in waves off Baekhyun, he was suddenly crouching beside them at the back, having snuck round the dark classroom. Baekhyun nearly jumped a mile high when he felt a hand on his shoulder, making him feel very warm.
“Baekhyun, is everything alright?” Calming down his heart, it took a minute to form an answer.
“Hmm fine.” Mr Park gave him a searching look.
“Sure?” Baekhyun nodded his head, feeling a little dazed from staring into his tutor’s eyes. They were beautiful, large and brown, and blinking at him in concern.
“Alright then.” Chanyeol wasn’t convinced, but he’d leave it for now. Class was nearly over and Baekhyun had a whole weekend to feel better. Once he’d gone, Kyungsoo wiggled his eyebrows at his friend, but said nothing else until they were out of college and parting ways.
“I’ll be coming round tomorrow afternoon with Jongin and Jongdae. I’m dying to know who your soulmate is!”
“God Soo, honestly I know! See you tomorrow.” His friend’s smile was infectious, and Baekhyun found himself becoming ever so slightly excited. Besides, it was his birthday! There were more things to look forward to than just discovering his soulmate. He would get to see his family, his friends; he could eat cake without being scolded by his mother for being greedy. See? Plenty of things to keep him busy. His grin grew as he heard the last shout.
“Happy Birthday Baek! See you tomorrow!”
The glow in the dark stars on Baekhyun’s ceiling were lovely, but they did not help him to fall asleep that night. He stared up at them, willing his eyelids to become heavy. Throughout the evening, Baekhyun had gotten more and more excited for tomorrow - and tonight. Away from Kyungsoo’s questions, he could think for himself about who his soulmate may be. Now that the time was nearing, it seemed as though no ‘what if’ was spared from running through his mind. What if it’s Kyungsoo? Baekhyun shuddered slightly. That thought wouldn’t have been so bad if his friend’s crush on their other, meeker, friend Jongin wasn’t so apparent. Baekhyun was pretty sure fate couldn’t be cruel enough to split those two up. The idea that it might be Mr Park was laughable and Baekhyun did laugh aloud. Nope, he wasn’t even going to entertain the idea. Ridiculous…as nice as it would be. Glancing at the clock on his bedside table, Baekhyun’s heart picked up ever so slightly. 11.58pm. Oh God, he didn’t know how this worked. Would he get a vision all of a sudden when the clock struck twelve? 11.59pm. Would he fall into slumber as soon as the hand ticked over? Oh God oh God oh God, Baekhyun screwed his eyes shut and next to him: 12.00am…silence. Baekhyun hesitantly opened one eye to look at the time: 12.01am. Oh. Nothing. He waited another half hour and still nothing happened. The now eighteen year old sighed heavily and fell back onto his pillow. This was disappointing, certainly not what he had envisioned of his coming of age. Where was the magic feeling? The warmth he expected and the fullness of his heart? Absent - as was sleep. Baekhyun spent another hour and a half tossing and turning and trying to drop off, and it wasn’t until 2am that he was finally able to submit.
Baekhyun sat at the piano, fingers playing out a beautiful melody. He could almost see the music physically, twirling and floating on the air around him as he continued; notes of all values, harmonious chords and the occasional discordant contrast, but no less enchanting. Baekhyun watched his hands as they moved away from the keys and he stood up, but the music continued. When Baekhyun turned around to open the door of the room and step out, still the music remained sweetly in the air. Beyond was a garden with a bubbling fountain and flowers growing in a rainbow of colour. The grass was lush and green and a picnic blanket lay on a small patch just to his left - Baekhyun found himself moving towards it, then sitting comfortably. He was waiting. What he was waiting for escaped him, though his heart beat wildly from his chest and within it a feeling of great anticipation and excitement bloomed as prettily as the flowers he was surrounded by.
Someone appeared a little way off, unrecognizable through the glare of the sun. Baekhyun’s heartbeat quickened. The figure was sitting upon the edge of the fountain, running its fingers smoothly through the water. They glanced up to look in Baekhyun’s direction, though still he could not see who this stranger-no, his heart knew that this was no stranger - was. The figure slowly rose to his feet and began walking in Baekhyun’s direction. Yes, it was definitely a he, broad shoulders, tall, slim and somehow, Baekhyun knew that he would be the most handsome man he had ever seen. Still, the sun blocked his view.
Baekhyun was suddenly on his feet as the man drew near, his heart frenzied at this point, beating almost painfully out of his chest. The man stopped a couple of steps away, still unidentifiable. All that could be heard was the music, the birds chirping, the rippling of the fountain and soft breathing. Two steps forward and Baekhyun finally knew who he was facing. His mind exploded in recognition. He had to look up to gaze into big, gentle brown eyes, clear with a tender emotion.
“You’ve finally found me.” The low voice was silky smooth, raising goosebumps on Baekhyun’s skin. A large, warm hand came up to cup his cheek, thumb softly caressing the smooth skin there and Baekhyun leaned into the touch, his heart finally bursting with the familiarity and joy to have come together with this person.
“My soulmate.” Then Baekhyun’s soulmate was leaning down to softly brush their lips together and something very much like love grew around the couple, embracing them in its glow. Park Chanyeol pulled away and wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s delicate frame as if he were made of glass.
“You’ve found me Baekhyun.” And Baekhyun heard himself replying, his voice sounding as light as a feather on the wind. He hugged tighter.
“Chanyeol…my soulmate.” He never wanted this to end. His heart finally felt complete - full. He had found the last piece of his jigsaw. Baekhyun finally felt at ease.
Consciousness came back slowly - so slowly that for a few moments, Baekhyun did not realise that he was waking up. The clock showed 11.23am as the young man snuggled closer into his duvet, sighing contentedly and still wrapped in the blissful dream and the feeling of euphoria at knowing now who he was destined to be with. Baekhyun squeezed his arms around the covers, immersed in the warmest hug of his life. Then, as he heard murmuring from the kitchen below, voices from his mother, the telly, and Baekhyun finally awoke, everything seemed to speed up.
Baekhyun’s eyes snapped open, whole body jolting upright. SHIT! Shit shit shit. Oh no!
His soulmate was Park Chanyeol. Professor Park. His teacher Mr Park. Baekhyun sat for a good five minutes staring blankly ahead, his mind running circles and running amok. What on earth was he going to do about it? Kyungsoo’s words floated back to him ‘…what if it’s Mr Park?...I mean, wouldn’t that be hilarious?’ Well, it had happened, but Baekhyun certainly wasn’t laughing. His heart still pounded in his chest, one part fear, one part still that joyous feeling of fulfilment, making the fear pulse once again. What to do? Baekhyun never thought that his seemingly light crush on his professor would end him up in a situation like this. Oh God.
Climbing out of bed, Baekhyun pulled on a shirt and some jeans from the drawer and made his way downstairs. He almost stumbled at the thought of what he would say to his mother. I can’t tell her. But she’ll find out eventually… This situation was way out of hand. Mr Park was older, he was Baekhyun’s professor for God’s sake, and he most likely had a different soulmate. It was unlucky, but it did happen to a rare few. Every time he had music, every time he would see his professor in the hall, or chat to him about what new sheet music he was ordering, Baekhyun would long for something that couldn’t be his. No, he couldn’t tell his mother and he certainly couldn’t let Mr Park know. Keeping the whole thing secret would be painful, but not as painful as rejection.
“Baekhyunnie, my lovely birthday boy. Look at you, growing up.” His mother gazed at him teary eyed as she squished his cheeks and cooed at him like he was five again.
“Morning Mum.” She bustled him over to the table and sat him down.
“Now I didn’t wake you because I didn’t want to interrupt your dream, but I made your favourite breakfast, bacon and eggs.” She sat down opposite as he began to eat, but the longer she sat staring at him, the more uncomfortable Baekhyun felt.
“Um, Mum, could I…you know, eat without you scrutinizing me?”
“Oh honey! I’m not going away until I know who my boy’s soulmate is! I’m fully prepared to help you look for them if they live far away, or welcome them into our family. Tell your old mum, come on.” Darn it.
“umm, well it’s…a man.” What the hell am I gonna say?!
“Right…and?”
“He…uh…he lives in Africa, I’ve been chatting to him online and I was so surprised when I found out it was him. Haha.” He gave a nervous laugh. Oh crap where the hell am I going with this? Fortunately, his mother seemed to be buying it.
“Hmm, that will be tricky, but not a problem if you’ve already been talking. So, what’s his name?” African names? Are they different? Think think think…anything!
“He’s called Dakar.” Is that even a real name?
“Oooh that’s lovely. But, why do you look so unhappy?”
“Oh, well…that’s because he lives so far away. Alright, well, thanks Mum, I’ll go and get ready for my friends coming.”
“Baekhyun! Baek-” Once he was back in his room, Baekhyun let himself flop onto his bed. What had he gotten himself into?
A little while later, Baekhyun was once again in an uncomfortable situation but this time, three other pairs of eyes bore into him, pressuring him to reveal the big answer. Jongin, Jongdae and Kyungsoo sat around him. Baekhyun felt as if he were in an interrogation room.
“No! I’m not telling you guys. You’ll just have to figure it out for yourselves.”
“Byun Baekhyun, this is one of the biggest events of your life - THE biggest! - and you refuse to tell us who your soulmate is? I won’t accept it.” Kyungsoo was nothing if not persistent.
“Kyungsoo has made us promise that we won’t leave your house until you tell us hyung. Please.” Poor Jongin, Baekhyun almost felt sorry for him. He was so under Kyungsoo’s spell, the thought occurred to him once again that it really would be a shame if they turned out not to be each other’s soulmates.
“Baekhyun, just come on. We’re not gonna say anything bad. If it really is that bad, which I’m sure it won’t be. You do tend to overreact.” Jongdae, saying it how it was. Baekhyun looked them all in the eye.
“He lives in Africa. His name is Dakar and I talk to him online.” There was a beat of silence…before the three burst out laughing. Jongdae wiped a few tears from the corner of his eyes.
“Haha, that’s hilarious, how did you come up with that one?”
“Is that what you told your mum? Haha.” Okay, so his friends weren’t as gullible as his mother was.
“But seriously, who is it?” Baekhyun looked down at his fingers, there was a pregnant pause until Jongin spoke.
“Hyung, we can help. Really, this is your soulmate. We’ll help you work it out.” Looking into Jongin’s eyes, they were sincere, and this prompted Baekhyun to mumble the name which brought him both an undeniable warm glow and sharp needles of fear and anxiety.
“Mr Park.”
“What? We can’t hear you from over here you know.” Jongin however, who was sat the closest to Baekhyun, turned quiet; his face changing from pure shock, to concern to thoughtful in a couple of seconds.
“Professor Park, okay?! Park Chanyeol! Our music tutor, are you happy? Are you going to go and tell him? Will you tell me everything is okay and that we can just get together and it will all be fine?! Oh God.” Baekhyun worked himself up more and more during his outburst before finally ending up with his face in his hands. His friends’ gazes softened and the sympathy was unanimous. It was a tough one, but they would help to get things worked out in the end. If Baekhyun couldn’t be strong for himself, they would be strong for him.
None of Jongdae, Kyungsoo or Jongin had turned eighteen yet and so without their own soulmate issues to be concerned with, they were more than happy to help their best friend with his. Baekhyun felt a hand on his back and looked up to see his self proclaimed support group around him.
“Well you know what Baek? You’ve got yourself a hottie. You have lots in common and he fits your description of the perfect man to a T. Right now, things may seem impossible but you’re despairing for a small reason. Baek, eventually things will come together - you two will come together, and you’ll laugh at how much you’re stressing about this. Soulmates last forever, and you have forever with Mr Park, which also means that you have forever to work this out. The quicker you do it, the longer you will have to be happy.” Baekhyun listened to Kyungsoo; tears sparkled in his eyes when he looked up at him, touched by the sincerity and kindness that his friend was giving him. It was times like this when he knew he had picked the right friends, despite how tiring Kyungsoo and especially Jongdae could be at times.
“Well, I suppose we should be calling him Chanyeol now huh? Ooh that feels weird. Chanyeol-ah? Chanyeol-ssi? Nah, Chanyeol hyung. Haha, he’ll probably collar us for being disrespectful but when you guys finally get together we’re gonna have to call him that outside of class, Mr Park would just be weird when he’s your soulmate right?” This made Baekhyun chuckle a bit, and Jongdae felt happy that he could cheer his friend up just a little. Even Jongin was joining in now.
“He’s almost our age anyway. Well, twenty five?”
“Twenty six actually.” Jongdae chimed in.
“Well anyway, that’s not much, so calling him hyung isn’t that bad. At least he’s not so old that we should be calling him Uncle.” Despite the amusing chatter, Baekhyun couldn’t escape from his initial thoughts.
“Guys, don’t tell him. Don’t tell my mum either, because she actually does think that it’s some guy in Africa. I don’t want them knowing.” The stares upon him were back.
“What.” The word was deadpan; anyone else might have been scared of the look on Kyungsoo’s face. Jongdae was a little more expressive.
“WHAT?! Byun Baekhyun, you’ve got to tell your own mother and you’ve GOT to tell Mr Park! How can you keep this a secret?!”
“SHHH!” Baekhyun pointed to the door, then looked down.
“Well…I uh…I don’t think I’m his soulmate.” At his friends’ blank looks he continued “No I mean, he’s my soulmate but I don’t think that I’m his.” He heaved a huge sigh. An unhappy sigh. “He’s eight years older than me; he’s never said anything about it before even though he must have known, we’re teacher and pupil and that’s not allowed anyway and I don’t want to be the one to look pathetic when he rejects me and things become awkward, I don’t want his pity looks every time I’m in class. It’s just not gonna happen, please don’t tell him.” Kyungsoo’s mouth was agape.
“But…Baekhyun, you can’t just not tell him.”
“So you’ve said. Just watch me.”
“No. I’m going to make sure you get together. Fine, I won’t tell him, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop there. I’ll find out who his soulmate is and just you wait until I come back saying that it’s you. Because it will be.” Jongdae nods.
“Baek, you guys are more like friends than he is your teacher. You chat to him outside of lessons and he orders music especially for you.” Inside, Baekhyun still doesn’t trust them. These guys just won’t quit.
“Baekhyun I sit next to you in music and it seems that way for me too. Remember when he came over to ask if you were okay yesterday? Nothing even happened; he must have been looking at you or something. You know they say soulmates can read each other’s energies or something like that. He must have felt that you were upset. I’m sure of it. I’m definitely going to find this out and prove you wrong.” Baekhyun wasn’t persuaded and still resolute that he would never tell Mr Park.
“Fine. Just don’t tell him about me. I don’t think you’ll find what you want but whatever. Go crazy.”
The next Monday morning, Baekhyun felt more worried than he had in a very long time. The only thing which brought a sliver of relief was that he was able to escape his Mother’s questions. He had music third period today, just before lunch and he was dreading it. Not knowing how he would react when he saw Mr Park was the worst of all. Would he blurt everything out after looking once into those large and inviting eyes? Would he clam up and not know how to say anything at all? Would he be able to push it to the back of his mind and somehow, somehow function normally as if nothing had happened and his soulmate was someone else? He hoped that the last one would be the case - at least then his professor wouldn’t catch on.
Stepping out of his front door and walking down the path, it was all Baekhyun could do not to turn back around and hide under his covers for the rest of the day. No, he needed to be strong. If not today, then he’d have to face Mr Park tomorrow or the day after that and he couldn’t avoid him forever. The walk to school seemed shorter than ever as Baekhyun spotted Kyungsoo and Jongdae upon reaching the gates.
“Hey Baek! Tell Soo that tomatoes are vegetables!”
“Jongdae they’re not! We might see them as that but they’re technically not!” Baekhyun’s friends always managed to astound him with the absurdity of their conversations. Luckily, the bizarre debate took his mind off his troubles, even if just for a short while.
“Well actually Jongdae, Kyungsoo is right. Botanically speaking, they are a fruit, so are ugh the devil’s creation, cucumbers.”
“Damn it! I could have sworn I was right this time!” They began walking into school once Jongin joined them, arriving just in time to laugh at Baekhyun’s disgust towards one of his own favourite foods.
“I still can’t believe you hate them Baek, ah they’re so nice. I want a cucumber now.”
“Hmm I bet you do.”
“Jongdae shut up!” And Jongdae’s voice didn’t stop until the group had split their separate ways and he and Baekhyun arrived at the door to their first lesson of the day.
Third period, also for perhaps the first time ever, arrived with lightning speed and soon enough Baekhyun was outside the music classroom with Kyungsoo. Breathing was becoming more difficult and Baekhyun wasn’t sure whether he wanted to burst out crying or run away. Kyungsoo noticed his distress.
“Baek, breathe slowly. Relax. Getting worked up won’t do any good. I don’t want to say this because I still think you should just tell him but listen, pretend it was a dream. I mean, it was a dream, but pretend that the whole thing was just your imagination. If you end up believing that then things might be easier.” Baekhyun didn’t say anything but closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. Kyungsoo was right of course, getting worked up wasn’t going to solve anything.
Upon seeing their professor stood at the front with his back to the room, Baekhyun found, to his immense relief, that the sight of him - his presence - actually worked to soothe the panic which had built within his chest. Once again he could think clearly and remember his plan to simply be grateful of being around Mr Park and diligently push away the strong impulse to act upon their soulmate link.
Mr Park turned round soon after they the two boys had walked in, watching them go to their usual seats at the back of the room.
“Good morning Kyungsoo. Baekhyun, have you finished that piece you were working on?” Baekhyun was not startled this time, that Mr Park was suddenly stood next to them. This time, he had felt every step the other man had taken closer - this connection thing was both a blessing and a painful curse for him.
“Yeah, I’m looking forward to seeing those sheets from last week properly too Sir.” And Baekhyun had learnt it. The whole of Sunday he had sat at the piano, trying to forget his frustrations. The piano had absorbed a lot of it, but that also meant that Baekhyun had played through so many pieces that he could do most of them perfectly by heart. Even so, the only dynamics the pieces really saw were presto, forte and abbandonatamente.
“Great. Stay behind after class and I’ll show them to you.”
Class was considerably average, only excusing the fact that Mr Park kept glancing Baekhyun’s way. A lot. That was most probably in his head though, or because he knew his professor wanted to show him the music (unfortunately, no pun intended). When the bell sounded and the rest of the students flooded out for lunch, Kyungsoo patted Baekhyun on the back, whispering a good luck and went to find his other two friends.
Baekhyun was feeling relatively confident after the lesson with no incidents, and so made his way to the front of the classroom where off to the left stood an upright piano, the tutor leaning on it attractively with his arms folded and long legs crossed. Baekhyun couldn’t stop himself from giving the man an appraising once over, a voice in the back of his mind nagging well, it’s your funeral.
“First of all, is everything alright today? You seemed a bit on edge during the lesson.” Don’t. Give. In.
“Sure, yeah, no problems at all.” Mr Park’s stare was unwavering. Baekhyun’s voice seemed a little too blasé. “Really! Fine! See?” Baekhyun’s smile was barely convincing, but Chanyeol let it go with a small sigh.
“Okay. Alright then, do you need the music or can you play it without?” Baekhyun gave him the most bemused look, which made the professor chuckle. At least this was familiar - this was normal. Chanyeol hated it when Baekhyun felt troubled or upset. “Okay okay, I needn’t have asked. Come on then! I want to hear it.” There had been very little practice of the full piece with its proper dynamics but now as Baekhyun sat down, they came naturally to him. Even if the sheet music had been sat in front of him, he wouldn’t have looked at it. Music was something which flowed from Baekhyun like a waterfall, and dynamics could be moulded and changed as he pleased to fit the effect he was trying to create. Chanyeol sat next to him, as always, in awe. Baekhyun’s musical talent was on a similar level to his own, however when it came to the piano specifically, the younger boy far surpassed his music teacher’s abilities. Watching Baekhyun play was just as captivating as the music he artfully crafted. His worries appeared to dissipate, the expression on his face concentration, but the emotion and satisfaction coming from inside him rendered Chanyeol almost speechless. Baekhyun could be happy simply sitting at a piano and not playing anything at all. The sight of the keys, the images of his own fingers nimbly moving across them, the imagined sounds he would be making when he played - the word was passion, and Chanyeol thought that it could be enough to make anyone give a piece of their heart to it, for it.
When Baekhyun had finished and the last note rung in the air, he sat for a second looking at the keys, then turned to face his professor.
“Beautiful. I-I mean the song. It was beautiful.” Baekhyun could feel the awe and embarrassment - perhaps he’s unused to giving complements? - coming from his tutor and turned bashful, bowing his head.
“Thanks. I didn’t really practice the ending so I hope it didn’t sound too rough.”
“Not at all. Your dynamics were lovely. Delicate. I’ve said it before but you have real talent Baekhyun.” Okay, so perhaps this urge to lean over and kiss Mr Park would be better suppressed. Baekhyun quickly got up then, spooked by his sudden feelings, trying to push the urge away and having to deal with the connection pushing back in defiance. He felt his eyes begin to brim, the emotions coming from his professor for him that the connection was letting him feel were overwhelming. He couldn’t do this. God forbid if he saw him crying, he couldn’t even look at the other man.
“I-I said I’d meet Kyungsoo so, uh, thanks. See you tomorrow Sir.”
“Wait! What about the oth…er…music…” Mr Park sighed, confused as Baekhyun scurried out of the room, slinging his rucksack onto his back as he went. Things had turned from wonderful to distressing in less than a minute, and he could only stare at Baekhyun’s retreating form as he fled.
After that lesson, Baekhyun came as close as he had ever been to depression. He did not know what to do. He thought that he could manage these feelings; he thought that it would be okay to pretend. Kyungsoo tried to reason with him, tried persuading him once again to just tell him! But when that failed, Baekhyun was thankful that his friend didn’t leave his side while they were anywhere near Mr Park. Baekhyun’s mother noticed that her son was unusually quiet and became worried. One more thing to fret about and one more person to lie to, her concern only made Baekhyun feel worse and he found himself blurting out, barely thinking about what he was saying, that his ‘soulmate’ from Africa, Dakar, had passed away and this was the cause of his hopelessness. Later, Baekhyun had felt awful once again for lying, especially since his father had passed away, leaving his mother distraught, but he found that as the week went on, his misery overshadowed the guilt. He lost his appetite, he stopped talking so much, within the short seven days, which felt like years to the boy, Baekhyun had folded into himself and everyone had noticed.
As a result of Baekhyun’s emotional suffering, Chanyeol began to feel down too. He was another who had noticed Baekhyun’s mood and it began to affect him in the same way. He found himself unable to relax at home, worrying about his student. During lessons, he was so aware of Baekhyun that he was almost too distracted to teach. He wanted to throw down his pen, rip off his tie and run over to the back of the classroom to envelop the boy in an almighty hug. Chanyeol knew the boy had recently turned eighteen, he knew that Baekhyun must have had his soulmate dream. Who had he dreamt of? Alright, Chanyeol would admit to himself, the root of the problem was, did he dream of me? Eight years he had been waiting.
The night Chanyeol had his dream, the night he had been shown his happiness, he was standing in a shaded clearing, foliage shielding the area from sight. Sunlight filtered through the trees and he could hear the stream next to him bubbling pleasantly. Crouched at the edge of the water, brushing slim and pretty fingers through it was a boy. The boy appeared to be around ten years old and sobbing quietly. Chanyeol knew, he just knew it! This was his soulmate. The swelling of his heart told him clearly. He wanted to take the boy in his arms and rock him softly, stop his crying, ruffle his hair and kiss his forehead and let him know that he was not alone. Chanyeol took a step forward. Leaves crunched underfoot and the boy by the stream looked up, startled. Chanyeol stopped. As expected, the boy had been crying, his cheeks glistened, as did his eyes with more unshed tears. Chanyeol didn’t know why his soulmate was crying, only that he needed to make it better.
Just as his heart wished to, Chanyeol moved the rest of the way and reached the boy, who had stood up and was blinking innocently at him. Again, his heart pulsed with fondness - he was so cute. Chanyeol held his arms out, inviting the boy forward, who looked up and smiled a toothy smile. It was as if the sun had come out after a heavy downpour. Somehow, Chanyeol knew his name without having to ask. He felt as if he knew almost everything about this poor boy.
“It’s okay now Byun Baekhyun. I’m here now, I’ll look after you.” Then on impulse, Chanyeol leaned down to lightly and affectionately kiss the mole at the top corner of Baekhyun’s lip. When he pulled back, it quivered, then more tears began to roll down the boy’s cheeks. This time though, they were happy tears, Chanyeol knew.
“Thank you.”
Baekhyun had not run away. He had seemed happy at Chanyeol’s presence in the dream…isn’t that how it worked? That if they weren’t meant to be then things would have not run so smoothly in the dream? Chanyeol had thought so. The look which had been stuck on the younger boy’s face almost since his birthday broke his heart. Surely if he was Baekhyun’s soulmate too then he wouldn’t be this miserable? Baekhyun would have approached him, right? Baekhyun’s expression swam through his thoughts the whole weekend and Chanyeol was determined to find out the problem as soon as Baekhyun’s music lesson had ended on Monday. What the man didn’t realise was that he would be seeing Baekhyun sooner than he had expected.
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
Baekhyun had been quiet all weekend. Kyungsoo had begun to worry that something had happened to his friend when nobody could get into contact with him. Upon going with Jongin and Jongdae round to his house on Sunday, Mrs Byun had told the three that Baekhyun had gone out to his ‘Thinking Place’.
“It must have hit him hard, knowing that his soulmate has passed away. I can fully understand what he’s going through.” They shared a look but said nothing, not wanting to slip up on such a sensitive subject and when they asked where his Thinking Place was, they were told that she didn’t know, and neither did the three friends - all they could do was go home and wait to see Baekhyun on Monday.
“As if he told his mother that.”
“That’s a little harsh don’t you think? It happened to her, and he’s lying about it. She’ll be really hurt when she finds out.”
“Jongdae, Baekhyun’s not really in his right mind at the moment. He’s never hid from us before. He’s confused about what to do and if it turns out that Baekhyun is Mr Park’s soulmate too then our professor will be miserable because of the link. You know it really affects people like that. He probably tried to come up with the first thing he could to get his mother to stop asking questions. We just need to understand him, even if what he said to her was insensitive.”
Meanwhile, Baekhyun sat on the bank of a nearby river, watching the clear water ripple as it flowed slowly by. The river was a twenty-five minute walk from his house, giving him time to reflect on his way. Reaching the place, there was a small car park and a few benches on a smooth patch of grass for picnic goers. Baekhyun liked to walk a little further up, where less people went. There, you had to climb the high bank and drop down to the other side, where trees hung down on either side to conceal the area from others and from strong gusts of wind. The stream was shallow and full of pebbles and rocks, the perfect place to paddle or just sit on the bit of grassy bank that jutted out slightly at the bottom of the slope. This clearing was where Baekhyun liked to come to be alone and think, hence calling it his Thinking Place. He had discovered it when his parents would bring him here frequently as a child. They would pack a picnic and play in the water and while Baekhyun’s parents chatted after the food, Baekhyun would explore the area as most curious children would, stumbling upon the spot and claiming it as his own, an explorer in a new land.
The last time he had seen his father, they had been to the river and ten year old Baekhyun had thought it was about time to show someone the hideout. His dad had winked at Baekhyun and whispered,
“Shh, let’s make this ours. The boy’s hideout. Shall we hide from mum?” Baekhyun had giggled and nodded, hugging his father, a big grin on his face. When the news of Mr Byun’s death arrived, shot on the battlefront whilst serving for his country, Baekhyun had run all the way to their Thinking Place, even though it was late at night and - typically - raining. He was soaked before he even got there and when he did, Baekhyun simply sat and stared into the water, seeing his father being shot down, wounded and bleeding, the worst scenarios his young mind could come up with and after a while, seeing nothing. Being in that place was somehow both more painful and yet a little more comforting. There was a presence around him and Baekhyun believed that his father was with him there, watching over him. By the time 2am arrived, Baekhyun had picked his frozen body off the grass and trekked home to his distraught mother. For the rest of that week, Baekhyun had been horribly ill, but he had been too filled with grief to care.
Now, as he sat once again staring into the water, dry tear tracks on his cheeks, the eighteen year old found himself not wanting to ever move. The world would carry on spinning and he would bleed into the scenery here like he was a part of it. He heaved a huge sigh. No, he couldn’t do that. He had his friends to keep from worrying about him, although that had failed if the sheer number of missed calls and texts they had sent him were any indication. Tomorrow was Monday. He would normally stay here until the end of the evening; watch the sunset, try, perhaps in vain, to soothe the ache, then walk slowly back and avoid his mother if he could. His friends could wait until they saw him at school, but Baekhyun would send them a reassuring text. Despite having spent most of the afternoon here already, Baekhyun still did not know what to do about his situation. He thought he could manage simply ignoring the link. As it turned out, especially with his professor’s miserable feelings too and the added burden of being physically so far apart from his soulmate, it was a lot harder than he had anticipated. This wasn’t normally, and Baekhyun wasn’t feeling any better. In fact, going home sounded like punishment and seeing his friends wouldn’t help either - he would only feel like a burden. Baekhyun’s temper was short. Anger was beginning to rise to the surface, no not anger, frustration. Frustration that there was nothing he could do about Mr Park having a different soulmate, nothing he could do about hurting his mother, nothing he could do to bring his father back. The young man thumped the grassy bank beneath him with one fist, then two, then frantically.
“AAAARGH JUST. SHUT. UP!” Silence. Nothing spoke but the wind, softly rustling the leaves, sinister whispers bleeding into the night, into Baekhyun’s ears. It was unbearable.
Launching himself off the bank, Baekhyun stormed up the slope and headed east, away from the direction of his house, away from what he knew, away. Baekhyun’s mind was a storm, raging against the walls of his skull, pounding out a bass rhythm. Even if the boy had been paying attention to his surroundings, he would not have known where he was. Further, further, this part of town was somewhere Baekhyun had never been, never needed to go, never wanted to go. Rough was a polite way to describe the cracked pavements lining the potholed road, the dark alleys filled with cigarette butts, empty crisp packets, things of a much more unpleasant nature. The folk who inhabited this area held an unpleasant reputation, though surely not all of them could be that bad…right? As Baekhyun glimpsed a group of three lads trailing behind him, he wasn’t too sure. Still smarting from the frustrated feelings, the pain of his make believe rejection, Mr Park’s un-reachable status, Baekhyun at first did not feel anything about the men on his heel. After ten minutes with them still on his trail, his nerves flickered somewhat. Slowly, but with a snowballing speed, fear began to creep up on the eighteen year old. A quick peek behind him again confirmed that the fear was most likely going to be justified. They were closer now; only about fifteen yards away and all of them were bigger than Baekhyun in some way.
“Hey, kid.” They sniggered. Baekhyun pointedly continued walking, head held high, a feigned confidence of which he felt lacked all convincing aspects.
“Hey, look at us when we talk to ya kid!” Just keep walking. Maybe they’re all talk.
“He said, look at us when we’re talking ya, little bitch.” One of them had grabbed Baekhyun by the shoulder and forcefully spun him round. Okay, so maybe not all talk.
“Look at this lil’ bitch, I don’t think he quite knows how this stuff works.” They say you should never show a wild animal your fear, fear means vulnerability, and vulnerability means easy prey. Baekhyun soon realised that he had been showing his fear, but it was too late to worry about hiding it now.
“We’re gonna rough ya up a bit kiddo, hows ‘bout that ‘eh?”
“A bit? That’s new.” More sniggers. At this point Baekhyun’s heart beat almost out of his chest. Nothing like this had ever happened to him in his life, he couldn’t even imagine something like this ever happening to him, his mother had kept him away from any danger of this sort and this was a very different neighbourhood to his own. He really was away, although this kind of away was never what he had wanted.
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
Park Chanyeol had been feeling uneasy since college let out on Friday afternoon. Something tingled within him, though he put this down to he and Baekhyun’s linked misery. At eleven o clock on Sunday night, sleep would not come. Running a hand through his already mussed hair, Chanyeol let out a stressed sigh. Baekhyun Baekhyun Baekhyun swam around in his mind, round and round and round. This was becoming the norm as of late - the man had always been thinking of his student, ever since the boy had become his student - holding his excitement in was tricky, especially when his soulmate was in his class every day, but somehow Chanyeol had managed it. He had managed to keep the information secret for the past year or so, watching Baekhyun mature further in his environment, getting close to the boy by bonding over music and waiting, oh it felt like forever that he had been waiting, for Baekhyun to turn eighteen.
Right now though…Chanyeol had never felt anything like this before. The uneasy feeling was growing into something more and Chanyeol was beginning to feel his hands tremor. Every now and then, breathing was painful, as if someone had a fist around his heart and lungs, squeezing. No no no, this simply wasn’t right. Something, anything, Chanyeol needed to be up and doing, and he had the most gut-wrenching feeling that this had something to do with The Connection - with Baekhyun.
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
The first thing they did was shove him about a bit, big cats playing with their food. A small part of Baekhyun wanted to fight back - a bigger part told him that it would only rile them further. He stayed quiet. Now that he had a clear view of them, Baekhyun could fully appreciate that he was in trouble. The tallest was also the stockiest. Big bones, too much food and the only exercise to be had - beating people up - made for this guy to look simply big. The guy to the left was tall but lanky, no not just lanky - gaunt. Drugs were the obvious answer to this un-asked question. He towered over Baekhyun, intimidating and haunting - a back hole, don’t look in his eyes. Finally, the guy to the right was beefy but average - remarkably so. Built like a rugby player, he appeared the fittest and could have done the worst to Baekhyun, though there was something about him which held back slightly. He was still there, still joining in, although a little detached, as if he were scared that at any moment an officer would pull up and handcuff him. Trying to plead with this one proved fruitless however - they guy just avoided Baekhyun’s eyes and his pleading and pitiful look earned him the first punch of the night. Baekhyun held his hands up in front of his face in an attempt to protect himself but after a short while longer, there was nothing more he could do than try to distract himself from the pain - fighting back would make them more angry and Baekhyun knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against three. He imagined Mr Park, screeching to a stop in his car, scaring these men away with just one fierce glance, taking Baekhyun into his arms, whisking him away. Rationally though, Baekhyun knew - Nobody’s gonna save me, I’m somewhere nobody knows, it’s the middle of the night, I’ll be in hospital before I see anyone else.
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
It was a good job it was two in the morning. Park Chanyeol sped through the streets way over the limit. The teacher did not think his heart had ever beat faster or more intensely than it was beating right then. Chanyeol did not know where he was going, he didn’t know what he was supposed to be looking for, but every junction he came to, there was never a doubt - his hands spun the wheel in one direction or the other, never pausing to think. Driving up to where he knew Baekhyun’s house to be, Chanyeol could feel that he wasn’t there. If he had been, this awful dread would not be churning at the bottom of his stomach; this was one thing of which he was certain. The next street over was notorious - Do Not go there. The churning threatened to come up. Entering this part of town, suddenly things felt a whole lot more urgent, panicked, desperate. This is where Baekhyun is. The thought was like a gunshot. Fatal. Final.
It was a good job Chanyeol was willing to break the law, just a little. He could see the figures from far up the road; they were stood right in the middle of the pavement. Chanyeol could see no shame in the stances of the men surrounding Baekhyun. In fact, Chanyeol could barely see Baekhyun. Breaking hard beside the trio huddled together, the teacher took no time to assess the situation sensibly before shooting out of his car and slamming the door shut. The most normal looking man jumped, he had glanced around nervously at the car even as Chanyeol pulled up and was now staring guiltily at the tall professor. The other two looked up from where they had Baekhyun pinned against the wall. One of them sneered.
“Oh, look who it is, the little bitch’s fuck friend.”
“You’re too late buddy. D’you think you’d get here in time? Huh?” The thin one now taunted. “Did you think this was a movie? Where you could just glide in and-oof.” Thin guy stumbled back into the wall from the force of the punch; the drugs had affected his body in a way which made him unable to take from another what he gave out with his posse. Seriously concentrating on not looking once again at Baekhyun’s bloody face, his puffy lip, Chanyeol rounded on the fatter man holding Baekhyun up by his collar, throwing another punch. This guy wasn’t taking as much damage as the thin man, although he did let go of Baekhyun to turn all his attention to his attacker. Chanyeol was seeing red, both literally and figuratively. His thoughts could not move past the image of Baekhyun, beaten and bloody, looking and feeling as though he had given up.
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
It wasn’t exactly as he had imagined it. Mr Park had not screeched to a halt - although he had stopped pretty abruptly - nor had he scattered the thugs with a single piercing gaze, but he had come to Baekhyun’s rescue and that was all that mattered. When he had glimpsed his tutor from underneath the arm which held him hostage, Baekhyun’s heart had soared. He was saved, he would be okay, Mr Park was here to rescue him. Baekhyun began to cry.
When the fat man let go of Baekhyun to face the professor, the boy sunk to the ground. Everything was weak; his legs had run out of strength and his face felt twice its regular size. The eighteen year old would have sat there all night had Mr Park not been in front of him, putting himself in danger - for him. No, he couldn’t watch his soulmate get beaten up too, or rather, turn himself into a monster.
The thugs were on the ground now and Mr Park cast a murderous gaze upon them, looked as though he was going to go in for another round until Baekhyun managed to summon up a small voice.
“Stop.” The reaction was immediate. The tall man was crouched at Baekhyun’s side in an instant, hands fluttering.
“Baek- oh Baekhyun, what have they done?” the teacher choked on his words, bringing a hand to his mouth and trying to hold back what Baekhyun could feel through their connection to be horror, sadness and regret. His fingers shook.
“Home. Please, take me home.” Frantic nodding.
“Oh course, oh Baekhyun, of course.” The boy could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks, sensed the loud sob threatening to break free.
“Shhh, shh, it’s okay now, shh, you’re safe. Can you stand?” Mr Park helped him from the floor, but as soon as the man let go, Baekhyun crumpled straight away, only saved by Chanyeol’s quick reflexes.
“Nope, okay. It’s okay, come on.” And they walked to the car with Baekhyun’s arm slung over the taller’s shoulder, he himself stooping to Baekhyun’s height while they hobbled along, murmuring soothing words the whole way.
The thugs let them go, watching with hatred in their eyes as the car drove off. The anxious one had long since fled the scene, the fat one shouted,
“That’s right, run! RUN YOU FAGGOTS!”
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
Part 2
Byun Baekhyun had never quite known what to think of the whole ordeal, if he were to be totally honest. He was a romantic at heart, wishing for the perfect man to come and sweep him off his feet. Someone tall and handsome would be nice, charming smile and disarming laugh. His soulmate would be clever, funny, chivalrous - but not patronising - and best of all, he would be perfect for Baekhyun. Unfortunately-
“Ooof.” Glancing up, Baekhyun cursed himself for not looking where he was going.
“If you concentrated in the halls as much as you concentrate in my class you wouldn’t have a problem navigating around other people Baekhyun.” Baekhyun flushed red. Unfortunately, his description of the perfect soulmate completely and unintentionally matched up to his exceedingly hot music professor, whose sheet music was now all over the floor. Baekhyun winced and bent down to help pick them up.
“Sorry Sir. Oh! Are these the new Chopin pieces you were talking about ordering?”
“Yes, I was going to mention it in the next class. I knew you’d be pleased. Have you been practicing that nocturne I gave you?” Baekhyun gave an enthusiastic nod of his head, despite his remaining embarrassment.
“I learnt the first five pages last week; I’ll finish it over the weekend.” Baekhyun was without a doubt Mr Park Chanyeol’s best student, being a fantastic pianist and a breathtaking singer; he came out with some of the top grades and admittedly, was also one of the professor’s favourites. The two of them, although keeping things strictly in line, had a slightly more relaxed relationship than with others, chatting together sometimes as fellow musicians and friends rather than teacher and student.
“So soon? Wow Baekhyun, you’re not my best student for nothing.” The teacher smiled and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Thank you for helping me pick these up. I’ll see you in class.” And with that, Mr Park strode off down the corridor, long legs taking him off at a brusque pace. Baekhyun stood for a minute admiring his frame and yeah, okay, his backside. The problem with this was that the teensy tiny crush he had on his professor was certainly not getting any teenier. With a sigh, he carried on walking over to his locker - just two more periods until music and then he could go home.
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
“Okay class, since it’s the end of the week I’ve managed to get hold of a DVD to watch.” The room erupted in cheers, until Mr Park raised a finger. “Ah ah ah but! It’s a documentary on the many aspects of the music industry and what is needed to secure a job in any part of it.” And while everyone groaned and the programme started, Baekhyun sat with Kyungsoo at the back, not really listening.
“Are you excited Baek? It’s your birthday tomorrow! Oh my goodness I’m excited for you! I wonder who your soulmate will be. I hope it’s a guy for your sake, but if it is a girl, then you’ll probably end up loving her anyway, since it’s your soulmate and all.” Baekhyun glanced up quickly, not wanting the whole class eavesdropping in on their conversation - Kyungsoo tended to forget subtlety when he was excited - only to see Mr Park looking their way. Feeling a little embarrassed, the boy gave a small smile before turning his attention back to Kyungsoo and making sure they lowered their voices a little more.
Baekhyun internally sighed. Kyungsoo was one of those people who would have skipped his whole life up to being eighteen just so he could find his beloved more quickly.
“-if it’s Woobin? Ugh, poor you. Stuck with a life of smelling bad and wiping spit off your face, eugh. I swear, I bet not even rabid dogs salivate that much when they open their mouths. Oh my god but what if it’s Mr Park?” That snapped Baekhyun to attention.
“What?!” Baekhyun stage whispered, then glanced towards the front to check that nobody had overheard, again.
“I mean, wouldn’t that be hilarious? Just imagine! You could flirt with him all you liked, and it would keep all those girls at the front from hitting on him too. Damn, he’s so fit.”
“Oh my god Kyungsoo! Shh! I-well I mean, I wouldn’t- but if-” Kyungsoo tried not to cackle as Baekhyun spluttered and blushed like a school girl. When the latter had managed to calm down, he said
“I guess it’d be pretty good, but not gonna happen.” The blush remained on Baekhyun’s face.
“Baek, you and the rest of the world have a crush on Mr Park, let’s face it.”
“I guess so, but Kyung, he’s quite a lot older than us. What if - and this really is if because come on! - But if I do end up dreaming of Mr Park, which I won’t, I’m probably not his soulmate. He’s what, twenty-five? That’s seven years. He’s had his dream; he knows who his lucky person is. Wouldn’t he have said something by now? He’d probably be disgusted and tell me that it’s tough and then I’ll never find love and be alone forever.” Kyungsoo scoffed
“Oh come on, don’t be so dramatic!” Baekhyun just looked depressed now, and Kyungsoo felt a little guilty. “Baek, it’ll all work out in the end. Whoever he or she is, they’ll be just how you want them to be. Isn’t that the whole point? They’re your soulmate. Your perfect partner.” Baekhyun sighed.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Almost as if their professor could feel the negativity coming in waves off Baekhyun, he was suddenly crouching beside them at the back, having snuck round the dark classroom. Baekhyun nearly jumped a mile high when he felt a hand on his shoulder, making him feel very warm.
“Baekhyun, is everything alright?” Calming down his heart, it took a minute to form an answer.
“Hmm fine.” Mr Park gave him a searching look.
“Sure?” Baekhyun nodded his head, feeling a little dazed from staring into his tutor’s eyes. They were beautiful, large and brown, and blinking at him in concern.
“Alright then.” Chanyeol wasn’t convinced, but he’d leave it for now. Class was nearly over and Baekhyun had a whole weekend to feel better. Once he’d gone, Kyungsoo wiggled his eyebrows at his friend, but said nothing else until they were out of college and parting ways.
“I’ll be coming round tomorrow afternoon with Jongin and Jongdae. I’m dying to know who your soulmate is!”
“God Soo, honestly I know! See you tomorrow.” His friend’s smile was infectious, and Baekhyun found himself becoming ever so slightly excited. Besides, it was his birthday! There were more things to look forward to than just discovering his soulmate. He would get to see his family, his friends; he could eat cake without being scolded by his mother for being greedy. See? Plenty of things to keep him busy. His grin grew as he heard the last shout.
“Happy Birthday Baek! See you tomorrow!”
The glow in the dark stars on Baekhyun’s ceiling were lovely, but they did not help him to fall asleep that night. He stared up at them, willing his eyelids to become heavy. Throughout the evening, Baekhyun had gotten more and more excited for tomorrow - and tonight. Away from Kyungsoo’s questions, he could think for himself about who his soulmate may be. Now that the time was nearing, it seemed as though no ‘what if’ was spared from running through his mind. What if it’s Kyungsoo? Baekhyun shuddered slightly. That thought wouldn’t have been so bad if his friend’s crush on their other, meeker, friend Jongin wasn’t so apparent. Baekhyun was pretty sure fate couldn’t be cruel enough to split those two up. The idea that it might be Mr Park was laughable and Baekhyun did laugh aloud. Nope, he wasn’t even going to entertain the idea. Ridiculous…as nice as it would be. Glancing at the clock on his bedside table, Baekhyun’s heart picked up ever so slightly. 11.58pm. Oh God, he didn’t know how this worked. Would he get a vision all of a sudden when the clock struck twelve? 11.59pm. Would he fall into slumber as soon as the hand ticked over? Oh God oh God oh God, Baekhyun screwed his eyes shut and next to him: 12.00am…silence. Baekhyun hesitantly opened one eye to look at the time: 12.01am. Oh. Nothing. He waited another half hour and still nothing happened. The now eighteen year old sighed heavily and fell back onto his pillow. This was disappointing, certainly not what he had envisioned of his coming of age. Where was the magic feeling? The warmth he expected and the fullness of his heart? Absent - as was sleep. Baekhyun spent another hour and a half tossing and turning and trying to drop off, and it wasn’t until 2am that he was finally able to submit.
Baekhyun sat at the piano, fingers playing out a beautiful melody. He could almost see the music physically, twirling and floating on the air around him as he continued; notes of all values, harmonious chords and the occasional discordant contrast, but no less enchanting. Baekhyun watched his hands as they moved away from the keys and he stood up, but the music continued. When Baekhyun turned around to open the door of the room and step out, still the music remained sweetly in the air. Beyond was a garden with a bubbling fountain and flowers growing in a rainbow of colour. The grass was lush and green and a picnic blanket lay on a small patch just to his left - Baekhyun found himself moving towards it, then sitting comfortably. He was waiting. What he was waiting for escaped him, though his heart beat wildly from his chest and within it a feeling of great anticipation and excitement bloomed as prettily as the flowers he was surrounded by.
Someone appeared a little way off, unrecognizable through the glare of the sun. Baekhyun’s heartbeat quickened. The figure was sitting upon the edge of the fountain, running its fingers smoothly through the water. They glanced up to look in Baekhyun’s direction, though still he could not see who this stranger-no, his heart knew that this was no stranger - was. The figure slowly rose to his feet and began walking in Baekhyun’s direction. Yes, it was definitely a he, broad shoulders, tall, slim and somehow, Baekhyun knew that he would be the most handsome man he had ever seen. Still, the sun blocked his view.
Baekhyun was suddenly on his feet as the man drew near, his heart frenzied at this point, beating almost painfully out of his chest. The man stopped a couple of steps away, still unidentifiable. All that could be heard was the music, the birds chirping, the rippling of the fountain and soft breathing. Two steps forward and Baekhyun finally knew who he was facing. His mind exploded in recognition. He had to look up to gaze into big, gentle brown eyes, clear with a tender emotion.
“You’ve finally found me.” The low voice was silky smooth, raising goosebumps on Baekhyun’s skin. A large, warm hand came up to cup his cheek, thumb softly caressing the smooth skin there and Baekhyun leaned into the touch, his heart finally bursting with the familiarity and joy to have come together with this person.
“My soulmate.” Then Baekhyun’s soulmate was leaning down to softly brush their lips together and something very much like love grew around the couple, embracing them in its glow. Park Chanyeol pulled away and wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s delicate frame as if he were made of glass.
“You’ve found me Baekhyun.” And Baekhyun heard himself replying, his voice sounding as light as a feather on the wind. He hugged tighter.
“Chanyeol…my soulmate.” He never wanted this to end. His heart finally felt complete - full. He had found the last piece of his jigsaw. Baekhyun finally felt at ease.
Consciousness came back slowly - so slowly that for a few moments, Baekhyun did not realise that he was waking up. The clock showed 11.23am as the young man snuggled closer into his duvet, sighing contentedly and still wrapped in the blissful dream and the feeling of euphoria at knowing now who he was destined to be with. Baekhyun squeezed his arms around the covers, immersed in the warmest hug of his life. Then, as he heard murmuring from the kitchen below, voices from his mother, the telly, and Baekhyun finally awoke, everything seemed to speed up.
Baekhyun’s eyes snapped open, whole body jolting upright. SHIT! Shit shit shit. Oh no!
His soulmate was Park Chanyeol. Professor Park. His teacher Mr Park. Baekhyun sat for a good five minutes staring blankly ahead, his mind running circles and running amok. What on earth was he going to do about it? Kyungsoo’s words floated back to him ‘…what if it’s Mr Park?...I mean, wouldn’t that be hilarious?’ Well, it had happened, but Baekhyun certainly wasn’t laughing. His heart still pounded in his chest, one part fear, one part still that joyous feeling of fulfilment, making the fear pulse once again. What to do? Baekhyun never thought that his seemingly light crush on his professor would end him up in a situation like this. Oh God.
Climbing out of bed, Baekhyun pulled on a shirt and some jeans from the drawer and made his way downstairs. He almost stumbled at the thought of what he would say to his mother. I can’t tell her. But she’ll find out eventually… This situation was way out of hand. Mr Park was older, he was Baekhyun’s professor for God’s sake, and he most likely had a different soulmate. It was unlucky, but it did happen to a rare few. Every time he had music, every time he would see his professor in the hall, or chat to him about what new sheet music he was ordering, Baekhyun would long for something that couldn’t be his. No, he couldn’t tell his mother and he certainly couldn’t let Mr Park know. Keeping the whole thing secret would be painful, but not as painful as rejection.
“Baekhyunnie, my lovely birthday boy. Look at you, growing up.” His mother gazed at him teary eyed as she squished his cheeks and cooed at him like he was five again.
“Morning Mum.” She bustled him over to the table and sat him down.
“Now I didn’t wake you because I didn’t want to interrupt your dream, but I made your favourite breakfast, bacon and eggs.” She sat down opposite as he began to eat, but the longer she sat staring at him, the more uncomfortable Baekhyun felt.
“Um, Mum, could I…you know, eat without you scrutinizing me?”
“Oh honey! I’m not going away until I know who my boy’s soulmate is! I’m fully prepared to help you look for them if they live far away, or welcome them into our family. Tell your old mum, come on.” Darn it.
“umm, well it’s…a man.” What the hell am I gonna say?!
“Right…and?”
“He…uh…he lives in Africa, I’ve been chatting to him online and I was so surprised when I found out it was him. Haha.” He gave a nervous laugh. Oh crap where the hell am I going with this? Fortunately, his mother seemed to be buying it.
“Hmm, that will be tricky, but not a problem if you’ve already been talking. So, what’s his name?” African names? Are they different? Think think think…anything!
“He’s called Dakar.” Is that even a real name?
“Oooh that’s lovely. But, why do you look so unhappy?”
“Oh, well…that’s because he lives so far away. Alright, well, thanks Mum, I’ll go and get ready for my friends coming.”
“Baekhyun! Baek-” Once he was back in his room, Baekhyun let himself flop onto his bed. What had he gotten himself into?
A little while later, Baekhyun was once again in an uncomfortable situation but this time, three other pairs of eyes bore into him, pressuring him to reveal the big answer. Jongin, Jongdae and Kyungsoo sat around him. Baekhyun felt as if he were in an interrogation room.
“No! I’m not telling you guys. You’ll just have to figure it out for yourselves.”
“Byun Baekhyun, this is one of the biggest events of your life - THE biggest! - and you refuse to tell us who your soulmate is? I won’t accept it.” Kyungsoo was nothing if not persistent.
“Kyungsoo has made us promise that we won’t leave your house until you tell us hyung. Please.” Poor Jongin, Baekhyun almost felt sorry for him. He was so under Kyungsoo’s spell, the thought occurred to him once again that it really would be a shame if they turned out not to be each other’s soulmates.
“Baekhyun, just come on. We’re not gonna say anything bad. If it really is that bad, which I’m sure it won’t be. You do tend to overreact.” Jongdae, saying it how it was. Baekhyun looked them all in the eye.
“He lives in Africa. His name is Dakar and I talk to him online.” There was a beat of silence…before the three burst out laughing. Jongdae wiped a few tears from the corner of his eyes.
“Haha, that’s hilarious, how did you come up with that one?”
“Is that what you told your mum? Haha.” Okay, so his friends weren’t as gullible as his mother was.
“But seriously, who is it?” Baekhyun looked down at his fingers, there was a pregnant pause until Jongin spoke.
“Hyung, we can help. Really, this is your soulmate. We’ll help you work it out.” Looking into Jongin’s eyes, they were sincere, and this prompted Baekhyun to mumble the name which brought him both an undeniable warm glow and sharp needles of fear and anxiety.
“Mr Park.”
“What? We can’t hear you from over here you know.” Jongin however, who was sat the closest to Baekhyun, turned quiet; his face changing from pure shock, to concern to thoughtful in a couple of seconds.
“Professor Park, okay?! Park Chanyeol! Our music tutor, are you happy? Are you going to go and tell him? Will you tell me everything is okay and that we can just get together and it will all be fine?! Oh God.” Baekhyun worked himself up more and more during his outburst before finally ending up with his face in his hands. His friends’ gazes softened and the sympathy was unanimous. It was a tough one, but they would help to get things worked out in the end. If Baekhyun couldn’t be strong for himself, they would be strong for him.
None of Jongdae, Kyungsoo or Jongin had turned eighteen yet and so without their own soulmate issues to be concerned with, they were more than happy to help their best friend with his. Baekhyun felt a hand on his back and looked up to see his self proclaimed support group around him.
“Well you know what Baek? You’ve got yourself a hottie. You have lots in common and he fits your description of the perfect man to a T. Right now, things may seem impossible but you’re despairing for a small reason. Baek, eventually things will come together - you two will come together, and you’ll laugh at how much you’re stressing about this. Soulmates last forever, and you have forever with Mr Park, which also means that you have forever to work this out. The quicker you do it, the longer you will have to be happy.” Baekhyun listened to Kyungsoo; tears sparkled in his eyes when he looked up at him, touched by the sincerity and kindness that his friend was giving him. It was times like this when he knew he had picked the right friends, despite how tiring Kyungsoo and especially Jongdae could be at times.
“Well, I suppose we should be calling him Chanyeol now huh? Ooh that feels weird. Chanyeol-ah? Chanyeol-ssi? Nah, Chanyeol hyung. Haha, he’ll probably collar us for being disrespectful but when you guys finally get together we’re gonna have to call him that outside of class, Mr Park would just be weird when he’s your soulmate right?” This made Baekhyun chuckle a bit, and Jongdae felt happy that he could cheer his friend up just a little. Even Jongin was joining in now.
“He’s almost our age anyway. Well, twenty five?”
“Twenty six actually.” Jongdae chimed in.
“Well anyway, that’s not much, so calling him hyung isn’t that bad. At least he’s not so old that we should be calling him Uncle.” Despite the amusing chatter, Baekhyun couldn’t escape from his initial thoughts.
“Guys, don’t tell him. Don’t tell my mum either, because she actually does think that it’s some guy in Africa. I don’t want them knowing.” The stares upon him were back.
“What.” The word was deadpan; anyone else might have been scared of the look on Kyungsoo’s face. Jongdae was a little more expressive.
“WHAT?! Byun Baekhyun, you’ve got to tell your own mother and you’ve GOT to tell Mr Park! How can you keep this a secret?!”
“SHHH!” Baekhyun pointed to the door, then looked down.
“Well…I uh…I don’t think I’m his soulmate.” At his friends’ blank looks he continued “No I mean, he’s my soulmate but I don’t think that I’m his.” He heaved a huge sigh. An unhappy sigh. “He’s eight years older than me; he’s never said anything about it before even though he must have known, we’re teacher and pupil and that’s not allowed anyway and I don’t want to be the one to look pathetic when he rejects me and things become awkward, I don’t want his pity looks every time I’m in class. It’s just not gonna happen, please don’t tell him.” Kyungsoo’s mouth was agape.
“But…Baekhyun, you can’t just not tell him.”
“So you’ve said. Just watch me.”
“No. I’m going to make sure you get together. Fine, I won’t tell him, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop there. I’ll find out who his soulmate is and just you wait until I come back saying that it’s you. Because it will be.” Jongdae nods.
“Baek, you guys are more like friends than he is your teacher. You chat to him outside of lessons and he orders music especially for you.” Inside, Baekhyun still doesn’t trust them. These guys just won’t quit.
“Baekhyun I sit next to you in music and it seems that way for me too. Remember when he came over to ask if you were okay yesterday? Nothing even happened; he must have been looking at you or something. You know they say soulmates can read each other’s energies or something like that. He must have felt that you were upset. I’m sure of it. I’m definitely going to find this out and prove you wrong.” Baekhyun wasn’t persuaded and still resolute that he would never tell Mr Park.
“Fine. Just don’t tell him about me. I don’t think you’ll find what you want but whatever. Go crazy.”
The next Monday morning, Baekhyun felt more worried than he had in a very long time. The only thing which brought a sliver of relief was that he was able to escape his Mother’s questions. He had music third period today, just before lunch and he was dreading it. Not knowing how he would react when he saw Mr Park was the worst of all. Would he blurt everything out after looking once into those large and inviting eyes? Would he clam up and not know how to say anything at all? Would he be able to push it to the back of his mind and somehow, somehow function normally as if nothing had happened and his soulmate was someone else? He hoped that the last one would be the case - at least then his professor wouldn’t catch on.
Stepping out of his front door and walking down the path, it was all Baekhyun could do not to turn back around and hide under his covers for the rest of the day. No, he needed to be strong. If not today, then he’d have to face Mr Park tomorrow or the day after that and he couldn’t avoid him forever. The walk to school seemed shorter than ever as Baekhyun spotted Kyungsoo and Jongdae upon reaching the gates.
“Hey Baek! Tell Soo that tomatoes are vegetables!”
“Jongdae they’re not! We might see them as that but they’re technically not!” Baekhyun’s friends always managed to astound him with the absurdity of their conversations. Luckily, the bizarre debate took his mind off his troubles, even if just for a short while.
“Well actually Jongdae, Kyungsoo is right. Botanically speaking, they are a fruit, so are ugh the devil’s creation, cucumbers.”
“Damn it! I could have sworn I was right this time!” They began walking into school once Jongin joined them, arriving just in time to laugh at Baekhyun’s disgust towards one of his own favourite foods.
“I still can’t believe you hate them Baek, ah they’re so nice. I want a cucumber now.”
“Hmm I bet you do.”
“Jongdae shut up!” And Jongdae’s voice didn’t stop until the group had split their separate ways and he and Baekhyun arrived at the door to their first lesson of the day.
Third period, also for perhaps the first time ever, arrived with lightning speed and soon enough Baekhyun was outside the music classroom with Kyungsoo. Breathing was becoming more difficult and Baekhyun wasn’t sure whether he wanted to burst out crying or run away. Kyungsoo noticed his distress.
“Baek, breathe slowly. Relax. Getting worked up won’t do any good. I don’t want to say this because I still think you should just tell him but listen, pretend it was a dream. I mean, it was a dream, but pretend that the whole thing was just your imagination. If you end up believing that then things might be easier.” Baekhyun didn’t say anything but closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. Kyungsoo was right of course, getting worked up wasn’t going to solve anything.
Upon seeing their professor stood at the front with his back to the room, Baekhyun found, to his immense relief, that the sight of him - his presence - actually worked to soothe the panic which had built within his chest. Once again he could think clearly and remember his plan to simply be grateful of being around Mr Park and diligently push away the strong impulse to act upon their soulmate link.
Mr Park turned round soon after they the two boys had walked in, watching them go to their usual seats at the back of the room.
“Good morning Kyungsoo. Baekhyun, have you finished that piece you were working on?” Baekhyun was not startled this time, that Mr Park was suddenly stood next to them. This time, he had felt every step the other man had taken closer - this connection thing was both a blessing and a painful curse for him.
“Yeah, I’m looking forward to seeing those sheets from last week properly too Sir.” And Baekhyun had learnt it. The whole of Sunday he had sat at the piano, trying to forget his frustrations. The piano had absorbed a lot of it, but that also meant that Baekhyun had played through so many pieces that he could do most of them perfectly by heart. Even so, the only dynamics the pieces really saw were presto, forte and abbandonatamente.
“Great. Stay behind after class and I’ll show them to you.”
Class was considerably average, only excusing the fact that Mr Park kept glancing Baekhyun’s way. A lot. That was most probably in his head though, or because he knew his professor wanted to show him the music (unfortunately, no pun intended). When the bell sounded and the rest of the students flooded out for lunch, Kyungsoo patted Baekhyun on the back, whispering a good luck and went to find his other two friends.
Baekhyun was feeling relatively confident after the lesson with no incidents, and so made his way to the front of the classroom where off to the left stood an upright piano, the tutor leaning on it attractively with his arms folded and long legs crossed. Baekhyun couldn’t stop himself from giving the man an appraising once over, a voice in the back of his mind nagging well, it’s your funeral.
“First of all, is everything alright today? You seemed a bit on edge during the lesson.” Don’t. Give. In.
“Sure, yeah, no problems at all.” Mr Park’s stare was unwavering. Baekhyun’s voice seemed a little too blasé. “Really! Fine! See?” Baekhyun’s smile was barely convincing, but Chanyeol let it go with a small sigh.
“Okay. Alright then, do you need the music or can you play it without?” Baekhyun gave him the most bemused look, which made the professor chuckle. At least this was familiar - this was normal. Chanyeol hated it when Baekhyun felt troubled or upset. “Okay okay, I needn’t have asked. Come on then! I want to hear it.” There had been very little practice of the full piece with its proper dynamics but now as Baekhyun sat down, they came naturally to him. Even if the sheet music had been sat in front of him, he wouldn’t have looked at it. Music was something which flowed from Baekhyun like a waterfall, and dynamics could be moulded and changed as he pleased to fit the effect he was trying to create. Chanyeol sat next to him, as always, in awe. Baekhyun’s musical talent was on a similar level to his own, however when it came to the piano specifically, the younger boy far surpassed his music teacher’s abilities. Watching Baekhyun play was just as captivating as the music he artfully crafted. His worries appeared to dissipate, the expression on his face concentration, but the emotion and satisfaction coming from inside him rendered Chanyeol almost speechless. Baekhyun could be happy simply sitting at a piano and not playing anything at all. The sight of the keys, the images of his own fingers nimbly moving across them, the imagined sounds he would be making when he played - the word was passion, and Chanyeol thought that it could be enough to make anyone give a piece of their heart to it, for it.
When Baekhyun had finished and the last note rung in the air, he sat for a second looking at the keys, then turned to face his professor.
“Beautiful. I-I mean the song. It was beautiful.” Baekhyun could feel the awe and embarrassment - perhaps he’s unused to giving complements? - coming from his tutor and turned bashful, bowing his head.
“Thanks. I didn’t really practice the ending so I hope it didn’t sound too rough.”
“Not at all. Your dynamics were lovely. Delicate. I’ve said it before but you have real talent Baekhyun.” Okay, so perhaps this urge to lean over and kiss Mr Park would be better suppressed. Baekhyun quickly got up then, spooked by his sudden feelings, trying to push the urge away and having to deal with the connection pushing back in defiance. He felt his eyes begin to brim, the emotions coming from his professor for him that the connection was letting him feel were overwhelming. He couldn’t do this. God forbid if he saw him crying, he couldn’t even look at the other man.
“I-I said I’d meet Kyungsoo so, uh, thanks. See you tomorrow Sir.”
“Wait! What about the oth…er…music…” Mr Park sighed, confused as Baekhyun scurried out of the room, slinging his rucksack onto his back as he went. Things had turned from wonderful to distressing in less than a minute, and he could only stare at Baekhyun’s retreating form as he fled.
After that lesson, Baekhyun came as close as he had ever been to depression. He did not know what to do. He thought that he could manage these feelings; he thought that it would be okay to pretend. Kyungsoo tried to reason with him, tried persuading him once again to just tell him! But when that failed, Baekhyun was thankful that his friend didn’t leave his side while they were anywhere near Mr Park. Baekhyun’s mother noticed that her son was unusually quiet and became worried. One more thing to fret about and one more person to lie to, her concern only made Baekhyun feel worse and he found himself blurting out, barely thinking about what he was saying, that his ‘soulmate’ from Africa, Dakar, had passed away and this was the cause of his hopelessness. Later, Baekhyun had felt awful once again for lying, especially since his father had passed away, leaving his mother distraught, but he found that as the week went on, his misery overshadowed the guilt. He lost his appetite, he stopped talking so much, within the short seven days, which felt like years to the boy, Baekhyun had folded into himself and everyone had noticed.
As a result of Baekhyun’s emotional suffering, Chanyeol began to feel down too. He was another who had noticed Baekhyun’s mood and it began to affect him in the same way. He found himself unable to relax at home, worrying about his student. During lessons, he was so aware of Baekhyun that he was almost too distracted to teach. He wanted to throw down his pen, rip off his tie and run over to the back of the classroom to envelop the boy in an almighty hug. Chanyeol knew the boy had recently turned eighteen, he knew that Baekhyun must have had his soulmate dream. Who had he dreamt of? Alright, Chanyeol would admit to himself, the root of the problem was, did he dream of me? Eight years he had been waiting.
The night Chanyeol had his dream, the night he had been shown his happiness, he was standing in a shaded clearing, foliage shielding the area from sight. Sunlight filtered through the trees and he could hear the stream next to him bubbling pleasantly. Crouched at the edge of the water, brushing slim and pretty fingers through it was a boy. The boy appeared to be around ten years old and sobbing quietly. Chanyeol knew, he just knew it! This was his soulmate. The swelling of his heart told him clearly. He wanted to take the boy in his arms and rock him softly, stop his crying, ruffle his hair and kiss his forehead and let him know that he was not alone. Chanyeol took a step forward. Leaves crunched underfoot and the boy by the stream looked up, startled. Chanyeol stopped. As expected, the boy had been crying, his cheeks glistened, as did his eyes with more unshed tears. Chanyeol didn’t know why his soulmate was crying, only that he needed to make it better.
Just as his heart wished to, Chanyeol moved the rest of the way and reached the boy, who had stood up and was blinking innocently at him. Again, his heart pulsed with fondness - he was so cute. Chanyeol held his arms out, inviting the boy forward, who looked up and smiled a toothy smile. It was as if the sun had come out after a heavy downpour. Somehow, Chanyeol knew his name without having to ask. He felt as if he knew almost everything about this poor boy.
“It’s okay now Byun Baekhyun. I’m here now, I’ll look after you.” Then on impulse, Chanyeol leaned down to lightly and affectionately kiss the mole at the top corner of Baekhyun’s lip. When he pulled back, it quivered, then more tears began to roll down the boy’s cheeks. This time though, they were happy tears, Chanyeol knew.
“Thank you.”
Baekhyun had not run away. He had seemed happy at Chanyeol’s presence in the dream…isn’t that how it worked? That if they weren’t meant to be then things would have not run so smoothly in the dream? Chanyeol had thought so. The look which had been stuck on the younger boy’s face almost since his birthday broke his heart. Surely if he was Baekhyun’s soulmate too then he wouldn’t be this miserable? Baekhyun would have approached him, right? Baekhyun’s expression swam through his thoughts the whole weekend and Chanyeol was determined to find out the problem as soon as Baekhyun’s music lesson had ended on Monday. What the man didn’t realise was that he would be seeing Baekhyun sooner than he had expected.
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
Baekhyun had been quiet all weekend. Kyungsoo had begun to worry that something had happened to his friend when nobody could get into contact with him. Upon going with Jongin and Jongdae round to his house on Sunday, Mrs Byun had told the three that Baekhyun had gone out to his ‘Thinking Place’.
“It must have hit him hard, knowing that his soulmate has passed away. I can fully understand what he’s going through.” They shared a look but said nothing, not wanting to slip up on such a sensitive subject and when they asked where his Thinking Place was, they were told that she didn’t know, and neither did the three friends - all they could do was go home and wait to see Baekhyun on Monday.
“As if he told his mother that.”
“That’s a little harsh don’t you think? It happened to her, and he’s lying about it. She’ll be really hurt when she finds out.”
“Jongdae, Baekhyun’s not really in his right mind at the moment. He’s never hid from us before. He’s confused about what to do and if it turns out that Baekhyun is Mr Park’s soulmate too then our professor will be miserable because of the link. You know it really affects people like that. He probably tried to come up with the first thing he could to get his mother to stop asking questions. We just need to understand him, even if what he said to her was insensitive.”
Meanwhile, Baekhyun sat on the bank of a nearby river, watching the clear water ripple as it flowed slowly by. The river was a twenty-five minute walk from his house, giving him time to reflect on his way. Reaching the place, there was a small car park and a few benches on a smooth patch of grass for picnic goers. Baekhyun liked to walk a little further up, where less people went. There, you had to climb the high bank and drop down to the other side, where trees hung down on either side to conceal the area from others and from strong gusts of wind. The stream was shallow and full of pebbles and rocks, the perfect place to paddle or just sit on the bit of grassy bank that jutted out slightly at the bottom of the slope. This clearing was where Baekhyun liked to come to be alone and think, hence calling it his Thinking Place. He had discovered it when his parents would bring him here frequently as a child. They would pack a picnic and play in the water and while Baekhyun’s parents chatted after the food, Baekhyun would explore the area as most curious children would, stumbling upon the spot and claiming it as his own, an explorer in a new land.
The last time he had seen his father, they had been to the river and ten year old Baekhyun had thought it was about time to show someone the hideout. His dad had winked at Baekhyun and whispered,
“Shh, let’s make this ours. The boy’s hideout. Shall we hide from mum?” Baekhyun had giggled and nodded, hugging his father, a big grin on his face. When the news of Mr Byun’s death arrived, shot on the battlefront whilst serving for his country, Baekhyun had run all the way to their Thinking Place, even though it was late at night and - typically - raining. He was soaked before he even got there and when he did, Baekhyun simply sat and stared into the water, seeing his father being shot down, wounded and bleeding, the worst scenarios his young mind could come up with and after a while, seeing nothing. Being in that place was somehow both more painful and yet a little more comforting. There was a presence around him and Baekhyun believed that his father was with him there, watching over him. By the time 2am arrived, Baekhyun had picked his frozen body off the grass and trekked home to his distraught mother. For the rest of that week, Baekhyun had been horribly ill, but he had been too filled with grief to care.
Now, as he sat once again staring into the water, dry tear tracks on his cheeks, the eighteen year old found himself not wanting to ever move. The world would carry on spinning and he would bleed into the scenery here like he was a part of it. He heaved a huge sigh. No, he couldn’t do that. He had his friends to keep from worrying about him, although that had failed if the sheer number of missed calls and texts they had sent him were any indication. Tomorrow was Monday. He would normally stay here until the end of the evening; watch the sunset, try, perhaps in vain, to soothe the ache, then walk slowly back and avoid his mother if he could. His friends could wait until they saw him at school, but Baekhyun would send them a reassuring text. Despite having spent most of the afternoon here already, Baekhyun still did not know what to do about his situation. He thought he could manage simply ignoring the link. As it turned out, especially with his professor’s miserable feelings too and the added burden of being physically so far apart from his soulmate, it was a lot harder than he had anticipated. This wasn’t normally, and Baekhyun wasn’t feeling any better. In fact, going home sounded like punishment and seeing his friends wouldn’t help either - he would only feel like a burden. Baekhyun’s temper was short. Anger was beginning to rise to the surface, no not anger, frustration. Frustration that there was nothing he could do about Mr Park having a different soulmate, nothing he could do about hurting his mother, nothing he could do to bring his father back. The young man thumped the grassy bank beneath him with one fist, then two, then frantically.
“AAAARGH JUST. SHUT. UP!” Silence. Nothing spoke but the wind, softly rustling the leaves, sinister whispers bleeding into the night, into Baekhyun’s ears. It was unbearable.
Launching himself off the bank, Baekhyun stormed up the slope and headed east, away from the direction of his house, away from what he knew, away. Baekhyun’s mind was a storm, raging against the walls of his skull, pounding out a bass rhythm. Even if the boy had been paying attention to his surroundings, he would not have known where he was. Further, further, this part of town was somewhere Baekhyun had never been, never needed to go, never wanted to go. Rough was a polite way to describe the cracked pavements lining the potholed road, the dark alleys filled with cigarette butts, empty crisp packets, things of a much more unpleasant nature. The folk who inhabited this area held an unpleasant reputation, though surely not all of them could be that bad…right? As Baekhyun glimpsed a group of three lads trailing behind him, he wasn’t too sure. Still smarting from the frustrated feelings, the pain of his make believe rejection, Mr Park’s un-reachable status, Baekhyun at first did not feel anything about the men on his heel. After ten minutes with them still on his trail, his nerves flickered somewhat. Slowly, but with a snowballing speed, fear began to creep up on the eighteen year old. A quick peek behind him again confirmed that the fear was most likely going to be justified. They were closer now; only about fifteen yards away and all of them were bigger than Baekhyun in some way.
“Hey, kid.” They sniggered. Baekhyun pointedly continued walking, head held high, a feigned confidence of which he felt lacked all convincing aspects.
“Hey, look at us when we talk to ya kid!” Just keep walking. Maybe they’re all talk.
“He said, look at us when we’re talking ya, little bitch.” One of them had grabbed Baekhyun by the shoulder and forcefully spun him round. Okay, so maybe not all talk.
“Look at this lil’ bitch, I don’t think he quite knows how this stuff works.” They say you should never show a wild animal your fear, fear means vulnerability, and vulnerability means easy prey. Baekhyun soon realised that he had been showing his fear, but it was too late to worry about hiding it now.
“We’re gonna rough ya up a bit kiddo, hows ‘bout that ‘eh?”
“A bit? That’s new.” More sniggers. At this point Baekhyun’s heart beat almost out of his chest. Nothing like this had ever happened to him in his life, he couldn’t even imagine something like this ever happening to him, his mother had kept him away from any danger of this sort and this was a very different neighbourhood to his own. He really was away, although this kind of away was never what he had wanted.
♫ ~ ♪ ~ ♫
Park Chanyeol had been feeling uneasy since college let out on Friday afternoon. Something tingled within him, though he put this down to he and Baekhyun’s linked misery. At eleven o clock on Sunday night, sleep would not come. Running a hand through his already mussed hair, Chanyeol let out a stressed sigh. Baekhyun Baekhyun Baekhyun swam around in his mind, round and round and round. This was becoming the norm as of late - the man had always been thinking of his student, ever since the boy had become his student - holding his excitement in was tricky, especially when his soulmate was in his class every day, but somehow Chanyeol had managed it. He had managed to keep the information secret for the past year or so, watching Baekhyun mature further in his environment, getting close to the boy by bonding over music and waiting, oh it felt like forever that he had been waiting, for Baekhyun to turn eighteen.
Right now though…Chanyeol had never felt anything like this before. The uneasy feeling was growing into something more and Chanyeol was beginning to feel his hands tremor. Every now and then, breathing was painful, as if someone had a fist around his heart and lungs, squeezing. No no no, this simply wasn’t right. Something, anything, Chanyeol needed to be up and doing, and he had the most gut-wrenching feeling that this had something to do with The Connection - with Baekhyun.
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The first thing they did was shove him about a bit, big cats playing with their food. A small part of Baekhyun wanted to fight back - a bigger part told him that it would only rile them further. He stayed quiet. Now that he had a clear view of them, Baekhyun could fully appreciate that he was in trouble. The tallest was also the stockiest. Big bones, too much food and the only exercise to be had - beating people up - made for this guy to look simply big. The guy to the left was tall but lanky, no not just lanky - gaunt. Drugs were the obvious answer to this un-asked question. He towered over Baekhyun, intimidating and haunting - a back hole, don’t look in his eyes. Finally, the guy to the right was beefy but average - remarkably so. Built like a rugby player, he appeared the fittest and could have done the worst to Baekhyun, though there was something about him which held back slightly. He was still there, still joining in, although a little detached, as if he were scared that at any moment an officer would pull up and handcuff him. Trying to plead with this one proved fruitless however - they guy just avoided Baekhyun’s eyes and his pleading and pitiful look earned him the first punch of the night. Baekhyun held his hands up in front of his face in an attempt to protect himself but after a short while longer, there was nothing more he could do than try to distract himself from the pain - fighting back would make them more angry and Baekhyun knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against three. He imagined Mr Park, screeching to a stop in his car, scaring these men away with just one fierce glance, taking Baekhyun into his arms, whisking him away. Rationally though, Baekhyun knew - Nobody’s gonna save me, I’m somewhere nobody knows, it’s the middle of the night, I’ll be in hospital before I see anyone else.
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It was a good job it was two in the morning. Park Chanyeol sped through the streets way over the limit. The teacher did not think his heart had ever beat faster or more intensely than it was beating right then. Chanyeol did not know where he was going, he didn’t know what he was supposed to be looking for, but every junction he came to, there was never a doubt - his hands spun the wheel in one direction or the other, never pausing to think. Driving up to where he knew Baekhyun’s house to be, Chanyeol could feel that he wasn’t there. If he had been, this awful dread would not be churning at the bottom of his stomach; this was one thing of which he was certain. The next street over was notorious - Do Not go there. The churning threatened to come up. Entering this part of town, suddenly things felt a whole lot more urgent, panicked, desperate. This is where Baekhyun is. The thought was like a gunshot. Fatal. Final.
It was a good job Chanyeol was willing to break the law, just a little. He could see the figures from far up the road; they were stood right in the middle of the pavement. Chanyeol could see no shame in the stances of the men surrounding Baekhyun. In fact, Chanyeol could barely see Baekhyun. Breaking hard beside the trio huddled together, the teacher took no time to assess the situation sensibly before shooting out of his car and slamming the door shut. The most normal looking man jumped, he had glanced around nervously at the car even as Chanyeol pulled up and was now staring guiltily at the tall professor. The other two looked up from where they had Baekhyun pinned against the wall. One of them sneered.
“Oh, look who it is, the little bitch’s fuck friend.”
“You’re too late buddy. D’you think you’d get here in time? Huh?” The thin one now taunted. “Did you think this was a movie? Where you could just glide in and-oof.” Thin guy stumbled back into the wall from the force of the punch; the drugs had affected his body in a way which made him unable to take from another what he gave out with his posse. Seriously concentrating on not looking once again at Baekhyun’s bloody face, his puffy lip, Chanyeol rounded on the fatter man holding Baekhyun up by his collar, throwing another punch. This guy wasn’t taking as much damage as the thin man, although he did let go of Baekhyun to turn all his attention to his attacker. Chanyeol was seeing red, both literally and figuratively. His thoughts could not move past the image of Baekhyun, beaten and bloody, looking and feeling as though he had given up.
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It wasn’t exactly as he had imagined it. Mr Park had not screeched to a halt - although he had stopped pretty abruptly - nor had he scattered the thugs with a single piercing gaze, but he had come to Baekhyun’s rescue and that was all that mattered. When he had glimpsed his tutor from underneath the arm which held him hostage, Baekhyun’s heart had soared. He was saved, he would be okay, Mr Park was here to rescue him. Baekhyun began to cry.
When the fat man let go of Baekhyun to face the professor, the boy sunk to the ground. Everything was weak; his legs had run out of strength and his face felt twice its regular size. The eighteen year old would have sat there all night had Mr Park not been in front of him, putting himself in danger - for him. No, he couldn’t watch his soulmate get beaten up too, or rather, turn himself into a monster.
The thugs were on the ground now and Mr Park cast a murderous gaze upon them, looked as though he was going to go in for another round until Baekhyun managed to summon up a small voice.
“Stop.” The reaction was immediate. The tall man was crouched at Baekhyun’s side in an instant, hands fluttering.
“Baek- oh Baekhyun, what have they done?” the teacher choked on his words, bringing a hand to his mouth and trying to hold back what Baekhyun could feel through their connection to be horror, sadness and regret. His fingers shook.
“Home. Please, take me home.” Frantic nodding.
“Oh course, oh Baekhyun, of course.” The boy could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks, sensed the loud sob threatening to break free.
“Shhh, shh, it’s okay now, shh, you’re safe. Can you stand?” Mr Park helped him from the floor, but as soon as the man let go, Baekhyun crumpled straight away, only saved by Chanyeol’s quick reflexes.
“Nope, okay. It’s okay, come on.” And they walked to the car with Baekhyun’s arm slung over the taller’s shoulder, he himself stooping to Baekhyun’s height while they hobbled along, murmuring soothing words the whole way.
The thugs let them go, watching with hatred in their eyes as the car drove off. The anxious one had long since fled the scene, the fat one shouted,
“That’s right, run! RUN YOU FAGGOTS!”
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Part 2