I need this
Alright prepare yourself for a long rant and rave...with no hidden meanings, no need to help..I just need to vent. The post before this I believe I mentioned something about everything being organized including myself and everything going to plan. Well insert laugh here. Because I fucked up. Nothing has changed pretty much since I moved out of my apartment and broke up with Levon. I still have no farking job regardless of the 20 places I have applied and the 5 interviews I have had...still no call backs. Except for Macy's but I screwed that one up. My trailer still not up for sale..if I said I had it up for sale that was in hopes that I would have been a better person then I actually am. I shall be asking my parents for money though I know they can't help because they are in the Bahamas and when I asked before they didn't offer which means they can't. What frustrates me the most is the feeling that I can't seem to get ANYTHING done without having someone hold my hand and help me. It's no ones fault but my own...but that doesn't change how I feel. I'm letting my frustrations get the best of me instead of taking control. I also HATE asking or telling people to help me...it freakin annoys me that I can't just do it on my own but I need to get over it and just do it...too late now though. Today Aprils taking me to get my bike...that will ease my mind a bit...because though it is going to take me alot longer to get around (I'm sure I will also be a retard and get farking lost which annoys me I wish I knew this damn town better I hate not knowing anything) at lest now I don't have to freak out or worry the entire ride about wasting her gas and anything happening to her car. Though my bike isn't the safest thing for me to be driving at the moment and I know that...it's mine though that means alot to me. I printed up the flyers for my trailer finally...Lori mentioned something about craigs list..I'm going to look into that I wonder if you have to pay for it. I need to pull out money for bolt cutters so I can get into my trailer...which will leave me with some money for gas...honestly I haven't checked to see if my motorcycle insurance is going to be taking from my account in February because I'm scared....but theres nothing I can do anyways I can't pay for it. Ray said he'd ask I forgot who if I could use their dad's truck so I can move my trailer out of storage and into their new place. Which would be very helpful but it's annoying because if I had the jeep I wouldn't need anyones help...I'd be fine..tow the damn thing when I want. Drive where I want when I want safely. Grrr...I wish I could stop thinking about that. I don't have it I can't change it so I need peoples help...I need to get over it. Honestly what I really needed was just this...I needed to vent. I kept sugar coating everything for everyone..not wanting to be so helpless..acting like everything was fine (not that the world is coming to an end or anything I am fine just...idk) but now a little too late I've let it out and I'm sure it'll go fine. Now that I've reorganized myself...again.