Teaching a Cat to Wash Dishes
Teaching a Cat to Wash Dishes
Attempt 1: Explained process of washing dishes. Cat gave me the "and I should care, WHY?" look. Explained cat would be one washing dishes. Cat informed me he could not do dishes as would "give him dishpan paws" and went off to have a lie-down, as hearing description of housework had apparently worn him out. Attempt 1: Failed.
Attempt 2: Procured tiny rubber gloves for furry little diva to prevent dishpan paws. Cat informed me he could not reach sink in order to wash dishes. Pointed out that this is blatant lie, as cat is always on sink attempting to suck water from faucet and ignoring perfectly good martini glass* filled with water at his food station. Cat gave me the "what are you ON?" look and went back to licking own hindquarters. Attempt 2: Failed.
Attempt 3: Gloves? Check. Step-stool? Check. Cat? Che-- Oh, frak. Hang on a minute... Spent ten minutes attempting to locate cat. Finally found him curled up underneath covers on bed. When confronted, cat gave me falsely-innocent look and claimed did not hear me calling him for last ten minutes. Informed me he was "simply exhausted" from having chased own tail for several minutes earlier and could not possibly attempt housework until after short (i.e. eight hour) "nap". Attempt 3: Failed.
Attempt 4: Snuck up on cat while sleeping. Put gloves on cat, plopped cat on step-stool in front of sink. Waited. And waited. After half-hour, cat informed me he could not wash dishes as he has no opposable thumbs, therefore cannot hold dish sponge nor dishes. Had no rebuttal, as this is true. Dammit. Cat went off to watch painting show on public television, leaving dirty dishes in sink for human to deal with. Well played, Mr. Cat, well played. Attempt 4: Failed.
Note to self: Buy more paper plates.
*For those who don't remember, my cat thinks he's a little person and refuses to drink from a water bowl like normal cats. He has to have a glass (and will stick his face and/or paws in MY glass if his own is empty/not available), and a martini glass has a nice wide mouth so it's easy for him to use. (Yes, he's spoiled. It's far too late to do anything about it at this point in our lives. LOL)
Attempt 1: Explained process of washing dishes. Cat gave me the "and I should care, WHY?" look. Explained cat would be one washing dishes. Cat informed me he could not do dishes as would "give him dishpan paws" and went off to have a lie-down, as hearing description of housework had apparently worn him out. Attempt 1: Failed.
Attempt 2: Procured tiny rubber gloves for furry little diva to prevent dishpan paws. Cat informed me he could not reach sink in order to wash dishes. Pointed out that this is blatant lie, as cat is always on sink attempting to suck water from faucet and ignoring perfectly good martini glass* filled with water at his food station. Cat gave me the "what are you ON?" look and went back to licking own hindquarters. Attempt 2: Failed.
Attempt 3: Gloves? Check. Step-stool? Check. Cat? Che-- Oh, frak. Hang on a minute... Spent ten minutes attempting to locate cat. Finally found him curled up underneath covers on bed. When confronted, cat gave me falsely-innocent look and claimed did not hear me calling him for last ten minutes. Informed me he was "simply exhausted" from having chased own tail for several minutes earlier and could not possibly attempt housework until after short (i.e. eight hour) "nap". Attempt 3: Failed.
Attempt 4: Snuck up on cat while sleeping. Put gloves on cat, plopped cat on step-stool in front of sink. Waited. And waited. After half-hour, cat informed me he could not wash dishes as he has no opposable thumbs, therefore cannot hold dish sponge nor dishes. Had no rebuttal, as this is true. Dammit. Cat went off to watch painting show on public television, leaving dirty dishes in sink for human to deal with. Well played, Mr. Cat, well played. Attempt 4: Failed.
Note to self: Buy more paper plates.
*For those who don't remember, my cat thinks he's a little person and refuses to drink from a water bowl like normal cats. He has to have a glass (and will stick his face and/or paws in MY glass if his own is empty/not available), and a martini glass has a nice wide mouth so it's easy for him to use. (Yes, he's spoiled. It's far too late to do anything about it at this point in our lives. LOL)