Cirque Du Paresseux
Yesterday was Canada Day and a bar near work decided to celebrate it to cash in on the flood of Canadians* in our area.
They had a lady dressed as a Mounty on a horse, an actual horse that crapped all over the pathways, a couple of Huskies, national champions according to the handlers and a man carving a bear out of ice.
It got me thinking what other kind of national days they should celebrate simply so they could get in the appropriate wildlife. 'Cause it's fun to go and pat big furry creatures during your lunch break. My first thought was that it should be a South American country so they could have a three-toed sloth. I like sloths, they remind me of me.
Now I don't think you can hire animals from Zoos, but I have heard that circus' will sometimes rent out their non-human performers. But what kind of circus would have a three-toed sloth in one of the acts? A fucking awesome one.
Now of course this lead me to ponder on what kind of act a sloth would be in. Possibly some kind of balancing act. But you'd need to add another animal too, variety y'know? Now what would be a more perfect creature to accompany a sloth than a hummingbird?! The juxtaposition of fast and slow would be exactly what people want in a circus act.
It'd be like the confuse-a-cat skit from Monty Python. Apathetic people, lulled into a near comatose state of ennui could go and be so befuddled and confused that when they left the big-top they'd marvel at the world around them as if seeing it for the first time.
*This is sarcasm. There are no Canadians in North Sydney. As far as I could tell the whole thing was an exercise in covering the sidewalk in horse-shit.
They had a lady dressed as a Mounty on a horse, an actual horse that crapped all over the pathways, a couple of Huskies, national champions according to the handlers and a man carving a bear out of ice.
It got me thinking what other kind of national days they should celebrate simply so they could get in the appropriate wildlife. 'Cause it's fun to go and pat big furry creatures during your lunch break. My first thought was that it should be a South American country so they could have a three-toed sloth. I like sloths, they remind me of me.
Now I don't think you can hire animals from Zoos, but I have heard that circus' will sometimes rent out their non-human performers. But what kind of circus would have a three-toed sloth in one of the acts? A fucking awesome one.
Now of course this lead me to ponder on what kind of act a sloth would be in. Possibly some kind of balancing act. But you'd need to add another animal too, variety y'know? Now what would be a more perfect creature to accompany a sloth than a hummingbird?! The juxtaposition of fast and slow would be exactly what people want in a circus act.
It'd be like the confuse-a-cat skit from Monty Python. Apathetic people, lulled into a near comatose state of ennui could go and be so befuddled and confused that when they left the big-top they'd marvel at the world around them as if seeing it for the first time.
*This is sarcasm. There are no Canadians in North Sydney. As far as I could tell the whole thing was an exercise in covering the sidewalk in horse-shit.