(no subject)
Everything is sickly sweet. So sweet I want to end it. Right now. I want to take the world and slice it. I hate it.
Is this what it feels like to be "normal"? Is this what it feels like to actually have a reason to smile for no reason? Is it?
I remember what it feels like to drown and I long for it sometimes. I remember what its like to watch the blood form little droplets on freshly sliced skin. I remember the "put" you hear when it falls onto my bed. I remember the slightly metal taste. Bitter. I crave it sometimes. I become an animal when I remember these things. I forget to think. That is why, for the first time in a while, once again, my flesh has been marred by those wicked scissors. Is it wrong for me to smile at this point? I guess it doesn't matter.
I know I'll have to face Tenley again. She's the only reason why I've improved so much. I know she'll scowl at me.
The smile has dissapeared. I've left myself with another mark that stings when the salt from my eyes mixes with the blood. Damn me.
Fuck it. Fuck it all. Damn it. I'm an inch from punching a hole in the wall. I'm so angry at myself right now. How could I let her down like that?
The trick is to keep breathing--
-A bad girlfriend.
Is this what it feels like to be "normal"? Is this what it feels like to actually have a reason to smile for no reason? Is it?
I remember what it feels like to drown and I long for it sometimes. I remember what its like to watch the blood form little droplets on freshly sliced skin. I remember the "put" you hear when it falls onto my bed. I remember the slightly metal taste. Bitter. I crave it sometimes. I become an animal when I remember these things. I forget to think. That is why, for the first time in a while, once again, my flesh has been marred by those wicked scissors. Is it wrong for me to smile at this point? I guess it doesn't matter.
I know I'll have to face Tenley again. She's the only reason why I've improved so much. I know she'll scowl at me.
The smile has dissapeared. I've left myself with another mark that stings when the salt from my eyes mixes with the blood. Damn me.
Fuck it. Fuck it all. Damn it. I'm an inch from punching a hole in the wall. I'm so angry at myself right now. How could I let her down like that?
The trick is to keep breathing--
-A bad girlfriend.