"Severe, now and forever" (from FF)
So much too write lately... so little ambition to write it. Well I suppose that's only part of the problem...the rest of it is...well my words have a tendency to get twisted and thrown back at me these days. So excuse my censoring...
Been dealing with all of the post-death stuff associated with my mother dying... trying to figure out what's going on with the life insurance.. Fuckers won't tell me anything on the phone, they just say the beneficiary will receive mail. Hey, guess what I am the beneficiary! And then there's the retirement fund... and the disability shit... and apparently two different mortgage companies... I thought I had found the right one, but now I'm geting calls from another as well, but they "called me (or my mother)" (meaning their messaging service called me) after their call center was closed. Gee thanks. And then there's the cable company...and the water place...and the electric and, oh yeah, probate over the flipping credit union BS. Plus I gotta go through the rest of her stuff, and I'm going through the Grandparents' stuff as well. Arg...
At home...ahh it's like tiptoeing on cracked ice lemme put it that way... I'm fucking afraid to get out of bed half the time. Gone beyond every little thing because it's just not worth it. The daily character assassination is enough, thank you very much. Well the big thing today has basicly been making me out to be someone blind boy crazed bimbo. That's awesome, really. I dunno I'm counting the days till I move out, but I don't even have a date on that yet. My stepdad just says "mid-next month." *shrug* I don't want to hurry him but living here is just plain not good. He gets drunk and amuses us, my stepdad,...well most of us. Meaning me, the mexican't at times... and more often "G,"
He's been around a lot, the cancerian G, I dunno, a lot of it is coincidental, I suppose. He was with me and my stepdad the night my mother died...showed up about 10 minutes after it happened. Pure chance. He was running my ID back up to me because I knew I'd need to get into her bank accounts. We stayed there untill they got "her" out of there...and went back to my place. The mexican't and my ex wanted to drink so they went out and got some cap'ns and some raspberry vodka for me. Come to find out Mr. G cannot handle that vodka straight...or perhaps at all as he wanted to sleep outside that night. It was 33 degrees out there lol. He ended up here the next weekend because he borrowed my car and my ex to help him with the final bit of his moving... And then ended up here again last weekend to fetch the power adapter he had loaned me. I dunno...he's become such an important part of my life so fast that it's scary...but I guess that's what happens when someone is there for you through all kinds of bad shit in a very short period of time.
Met another blue-eyed cancer off of craig's list last week. Got the RL meet and greet out of the way fast. Never heard a word from him after that. See what I get for trying to pick up cancers? Especially of the blue-eyed variety. More lessons learned I suppose.
So there's my quick entry for now. Nice huh? I dunno, like I said I want to write, but I don't. I've been spending wayyy too much time in front of simplisitic video games lately, but the brain numbing is quite nice these days. I am not looking forward to these next few months...but hopefully someone will keep me in good company so I don't...hell, I don't know, I can't say go insane, because I'm pretty sure I got there a long time ago. Ah...life.
Been dealing with all of the post-death stuff associated with my mother dying... trying to figure out what's going on with the life insurance.. Fuckers won't tell me anything on the phone, they just say the beneficiary will receive mail. Hey, guess what I am the beneficiary! And then there's the retirement fund... and the disability shit... and apparently two different mortgage companies... I thought I had found the right one, but now I'm geting calls from another as well, but they "called me (or my mother)" (meaning their messaging service called me) after their call center was closed. Gee thanks. And then there's the cable company...and the water place...and the electric and, oh yeah, probate over the flipping credit union BS. Plus I gotta go through the rest of her stuff, and I'm going through the Grandparents' stuff as well. Arg...
At home...ahh it's like tiptoeing on cracked ice lemme put it that way... I'm fucking afraid to get out of bed half the time. Gone beyond every little thing because it's just not worth it. The daily character assassination is enough, thank you very much. Well the big thing today has basicly been making me out to be someone blind boy crazed bimbo. That's awesome, really. I dunno I'm counting the days till I move out, but I don't even have a date on that yet. My stepdad just says "mid-next month." *shrug* I don't want to hurry him but living here is just plain not good. He gets drunk and amuses us, my stepdad,...well most of us. Meaning me, the mexican't at times... and more often "G,"
He's been around a lot, the cancerian G, I dunno, a lot of it is coincidental, I suppose. He was with me and my stepdad the night my mother died...showed up about 10 minutes after it happened. Pure chance. He was running my ID back up to me because I knew I'd need to get into her bank accounts. We stayed there untill they got "her" out of there...and went back to my place. The mexican't and my ex wanted to drink so they went out and got some cap'ns and some raspberry vodka for me. Come to find out Mr. G cannot handle that vodka straight...or perhaps at all as he wanted to sleep outside that night. It was 33 degrees out there lol. He ended up here the next weekend because he borrowed my car and my ex to help him with the final bit of his moving... And then ended up here again last weekend to fetch the power adapter he had loaned me. I dunno...he's become such an important part of my life so fast that it's scary...but I guess that's what happens when someone is there for you through all kinds of bad shit in a very short period of time.
Met another blue-eyed cancer off of craig's list last week. Got the RL meet and greet out of the way fast. Never heard a word from him after that. See what I get for trying to pick up cancers? Especially of the blue-eyed variety. More lessons learned I suppose.
So there's my quick entry for now. Nice huh? I dunno, like I said I want to write, but I don't. I've been spending wayyy too much time in front of simplisitic video games lately, but the brain numbing is quite nice these days. I am not looking forward to these next few months...but hopefully someone will keep me in good company so I don't...hell, I don't know, I can't say go insane, because I'm pretty sure I got there a long time ago. Ah...life.