Hau Ruck European Tour Journal Part 2 of 2
11/22/05 - Bergen Norway
I woke up as we were driving through the old town of Bergen. The scene
was that of a postcard. White houses dotting the hillside fell sharply
into the sea, framed by mountains and fog. We drove carefully through
cobblestone streets until we reached Hulen, the cave like venue we were
to play. With plenty of time until load in we headed over to our hotel,
had some breakfast and then went exploring through the charming seaside
village. We spent a considerable amount of time walking through the
small fish market admiring all the odd looking fish and sampling local
crab. After that we just walked and walked, drinking mouthfuls of salty
air and taking pictures. When we got back to the vebue load in was in
progress and we headed inside. Due to some hospitality rider confusion
piles of food were delivered and I spent the next few hours making
salads. J&R from PDHH came in during all this and showed us photos of a
huge cod they caught off the docks on their afternoon fishing
excursion. Later I went out in search of the elusive Norwegian pancake,
which I came to learn was simply American folklore. I settled for a
cold soggy crepe instead and walked back to the venue in the poring
rain. Sound check was stressful as it was our first night with a new
FOH. The room presented many challenges and we spent hours trying to
make it manageable for everyone. Pre-show I just wandered around
watching PDHH and talking to fans. When we hit the stage we all
struggled with our mixes but made the best of it and had a successful
show in the end. With an extremely long drive ahead of us to Berlin, we
took off as soon as possible.
11/23/05 - Oslo, Norway
I didn't want to miss the drive from Bergen to Oslo as I had heard it
is one of the most beautiful drives in all of Europe. With some kind of
subliminal alarm clock in place, I woke at 7am and peeked my head
through my bunk curtain. Immediately I threw some cloths on, grabbed my
camera, pushed back the hatch of the roof and starting snapping away. I
raced downstairs as quietly as I could to make myself a cup of tea and
watch from the window. When I got downstairs M was sitting there
transfixed by the view. It was other worldly, in a lord of the rings
kind of way. Frozen forests, snow capped mountains jutting into the sea
and strange waterfall formations frozen mid flow. Frighteningly steep
curvy roads that dropped into an abyss made me thankful I was asleep
when we made this trip in darkness a few nights before. A few hours
later we stopped at a little family owned restaurant on a hilltop and
the few of us that were awake went inside and ate a delicious
breakfast, accompanied by the thickest hot chocolate I've ever had.
When we took off again I curled up in my bunk and went back to sleep
until we reached the venue. "Betong", the student complex we were
Playing, was in the middle of nowhere. Nothing around to see unless you
wanted to take a cab, train or bus. The inside was impressive enough
but there wasn't any crew or anything in our dressing room when we got
there. I took a shower and dried myself off with toilet paper. When the
promoter did arrive he seemed overwhelmed and everything took a long
time to organize. When we hit the stage I was disappointed. The turn
out sucked and quite a few people there were sitting at tables drinking
wine like they were at some kind of lounge bar. I did everything I
could to get into it but I was completely bored. I couldn't wait for it
to be over and get the hell out.
11/24/05 Berlin, Germany
I woke up as we were arriving at the Ferry. Once we parked inside we
all went up to the main deck and either got something to eat or browsed
through the duty free shops. I found band and crew playing poker and
hung out there for the duration of the trip. When we docked we took
pictures with Lutz (our driver) and gave him a big hug. Yup tonight we
would have yet another driver, our last. Lutz couldn't stay with us as
his lovely Susanna couldn't be apart from him for more then 10 days at
a time. We knew this from the beginning but hoped he'd change his mind
and were all a little sad when it came time to say goodbye. At least
we'd have him until Berlin. The drive was endless. Took forever with
all the rush hour traffic and we raced to get everything set up when we
got there. I was excited as my sister who I hadn't seen in ages would
be there and word around the club was that the place would be packed.
Everyone kicked ass and we made it through sound check before doors. I
got dressed as quickly as possible and starting searching for my sister
with mad anticipation. Finally I found her and smothered her in a sea
of kisses. We hung out in the bar and talked with friends and before I
knew it it was time for the show. The crowd was fantastic, the sound
great and we all fed off each other's energy, resulting in a great
show. Afterward it was one big party. The club stayed open and another
opened across the court yard and we just bounced from club to club
talking, laughing, making new friends. Later my sister and her group
came on the bus and we had our own little party, since we didn't have
to leave for Poland until the morning.
11/26/05 Gydnia, Poland
It was freezing in Poland. Inside the dressing room there was a little
fire furnace glowing but unless you were sitting right on top of it,
the rest of the room was cold. We were starving but the only provisions
provided for us were some pickled fish selections, bread and what
seemed to be spam. YUK! I ate a few slices of bread and hoped later at
dinner something edible would appear. Since the club was in a desolate
area none of us ventured out to discover the city of Gydnia. Instead we
stayed at the club setting up for the show and hanging out in our
backstage area. Later we were given a choice of roast chicken or
pirogues for dinner. Since almost everywhere we had been so far had
given us roast chicken most of us opted for the pirogues. Of course
this was the one day chicken was the better choice! The perogies were
disgusting. Mysterious slop stuffed in slimy gluey pockets of dough.
Ughhh. I just wanted to get the show over with and get the hell out of
Poland. When show time rolled around we hit the stage and they all came
up close with cameras in hand, snapping away. By the second song they
were holding their cameras about an inch away from my face and it was
very distracting. I tried to gently push them away but they only became
more determined. On top of that they were doing some kind of local
slapping thing I'd never seen done before. With hands in the air they
slapped them down on the stage or on whatever band member happened to
take the center. It was bizarre and annoying. When the show was over I
was relieved. We went out front to talk with them but nobody recognized
me after I had changed, so I sat at the bar and had a drink. Some guy
came up to me and started talking in Polish. I tilted my head to the
side like a confused dog but he kept chattering away. Finally I just
said I haven't any idea what you're trying to say. Then in perfect
English, he said, I thought you were a Polish girl I met here last
week. I laughed and then he bought me a strange shot off vodka with
raspberry syrup and hot sauce. By accepting he thought I was interested
because before long he was climbing onto my bar stool trying to get
extra friendly. Thankfully AS happened to come by, I introduced the two
of them and slid away. Everyone seemed to be having a good time but I
just wanted out. The people were nice enough but I didn't have common
ground with anyone, so I grabbed my stuff and went to the bus and
watched a movie.
11/27/05 Prague, Czech Republic
I couldn't wait to get out of the bus. It seemed like we were driving
forever and still no sight of the club. Huge imposing buildings with
strict authority lined the streets and I wondered if this was what
people were referring to, when they described Prague as one of the most
beautiful cities. Finally beyond the city on some cull de sac we found
our club. Before we got the last piece of equipment in, AD slipped on
the ice and had a nasty bruise on his hand that was turning blue by the
minute. Inside the promoters organized laundry for us and delicious
food was being brought into our dressing room. They organized
transportation for us so we could go into the city and see the sights
and we accepted with as much grace as our giddy excitement would
allow. Laundry and transportation from the city and back WoW! So a
bunch of us took off to see the sights. Everyone seemed to splinter off
into little groups when we got there and SK and I took off on our own.
The X-Mas market was in full swing and the delicious smell of local
treats filling the air. I heard English more then anything else. It
must have been the time of year as the streets were teaming with
tourists. SK and I walked further on hoping to find something more
authentic, undisturbed, but it wasn't to be. So we we sat at a cafe
and people watched until the designated hour of the first shuttle back
to the venue. When we got back everyone was in good spirits and we
jumped on stage for sound check. After that we did some interviews and
then ate the best meal of the tour so far, at least as far as I was
concerned. They served us heaping plates of roast pork with homemade
sauerkraut, potatoes and a vegetable with cheese which I didn't try.
Everyone was smiling afterwards rubbing their full bellies. By the time
I had gotten dressed the club was packed. I could hear them screaming
and whistling making all kinds of noise. When we hit the stage and
started our show, they were screaming so loud I could barely hear
myself, it was great! One of my top 3 shows of the tour so far.
Afterward we hung out with everyone until they closed the place up.
Later when loading our gear out to the bus, JS got trapped in the
elevator. It was scary for him but funny for the rest of us. I was on
the floor nearly pissing myself with laughter, as I heard his muffled
voice scream , help, help I can't get out.....When we finally did get
him out we stayed until the wee wee hours enjoying the hospitality of
our promoters before taking off Budapest.
11/28/05 Budapest, Hungry
We arrived at A-38, the ship we would be playing on a very rainy dismal
day. A strange sculpture of a baby adorned the top, with what looked
like a giant asshole for a face. I laughed taking pictures wondering
who came up with this odd perspective of infancy and walked down the
plank to the ship. Inside there was a beautiful restaurant framed by
picture windows and down in the basement was the club. Our backstage
area must have been a boiler room at one time as huge pipes ran from
ceiling to floor in a tangle of steel. Converted into a a comfortable
bar area, leather couches and chairs filled the space and a tray of
sandwiches filled a nearby table. Our promoters were great and
entertained us from morning till night with stories and talk of
everything Budapest. In the afternoon JS cut his hand bad on a piece of
gear and it was clear AD had to go to the hospital for his hand as it
was swollen beyond belief, all shades of purple and blue. Some very
cool crew guys took them to an army doctor friend and the rest of us
were brought upstairs where we enjoyed an elegant sit down dinner in
the restaurant. The club filled with a respectable amount of people
and the show was incredibly fun. Afterwards we talked with the fans and
then went backstage again to celebrate a great show with our promoters.
The vodka kept flowing, I tried to sneak out several times but they
kept dragging me back in for one last toast. I'm pretty sure I crawled
up the ship plank back to the bus.
11/29/05 Vienna, Austria
When I woke up we were parked in a garage. I was very confused and shot
out of my bunk like a rocket fearing that some kind of bus malfunction
had occurred while I was asleep. Outside the bus I walked the perimeter
until I found a door that lead me into the venue. Very interesting I
muttered to myself and then found an elevator that led me backstage, to
a duplex room with tons of yummy food. There were gorgeous marble
bathrooms and endless rooms with comfy couches, tables and chairs. I
was very happy. One by one as everyone woke up and found themselves
there, no wanted to leave it was so cosy. The city was a train ride
away and I had a huge headache from the night before and decided to
stay at the club. Later SK and I walked to a mall nearby to get some
stuff we needed and then it was back to the club for sound check. Later
dinner was prepared and a beautiful black forest cake was brought up
for us. The show brought many fans from Budapest and Prague as well as
local fans and a good time was had by all.
11/30/05, Nurnberg, Germany
I hated this place from the moment I stepped off the bus till the
moment we packed our last piece of gear in to leave. The venue was
generous enough with the food but the place was freezing and the stage
was so wobbly I wondered what the consequence would be during the show.
With so much time on our hands JH and I went for a walk in search of
the city. We walked and walked but all we could find was a huge
supermarket that was of little interest. We passed SK on the way back
and he wanted to see it for himself so I walked with him. We passed a
nice looking restaurant from the outside and went in to get some lunch.
The inside was a stark contrast from the outside. It looked like a
cover for something. Odd looking patrons sat around one big table
glaring at us in suspicion. No sooner had our food arrived when some
other people came in and a man came over and aggressively banged on our
table a few times before walking off. SK and I looked at each other and
wondered what the hell it meant. Later a friend told us it was local
custom, a way of saying hi... Back at the club with sound check in
progress, we gave the stage a test run. I shook my head and asked AD
to nail my podium down as it was ready to fall over with the first
note of Hau Ruck. I was very worried. When the show started I caught
my sequencer as it was flying off my podium. AD tried to tape it
down but the vibrations from the stage were so crazy I spent the
rest of the show holding it steady. The crowd was cool though and
we hung out with them afterwards before taking off for Stuttgart.
12/1/05 Stuttgart
When we arrived at Rohre, the venue wasn't opened yet so SK, JH and I
took a walk through the city. The X-mas market was massive with petting
zoo's, rides for kids, food stalls, gift stalls, you name it they had
it. It was very festive and a feast for the eyes. With endless shops we
walked and walked until we worked up an appetite. JH took off in search
of something he needed and SK and I went in search of a restaurant
where we could get a typical meal. We settled on what looked to be the
perfect place but it was awful and we left disappointed. Back at the
club things were moving slow. They didn't have a monitor board and
there was a buzz that could not be located. The local crew weren't very
helpful and frustration hung in the air like a thick fog. SK's mother
and brother were driving out to see the show and take some of our luggage
back to Munich and our booking agent and merchandising agent were
coming down as well. It was a stressful afternoon. When show time
rolled around and the place was full. Drunk people were falling all
over themselves at the front of the stage and one of them passed out
trying to get on the stage. I tried to have a great time and enjoy it
but there were so many distracting assholes at the front I put myself
on auto pilot for most of the show. When it was over we went back to
the bus and stuffed all our clothes into garbage bags and loaded them
into SK's mom's car and then hung out on the bus with our bands/crew
and talked about the border crossing into Switzerland and potential
hold ups we might be faced with.
12/2/05 Martigny, Switzerland
When I woke up we were long past the border and driving through the
little Swiss village of Martigny. Our bus skidded on the ice and got
stuck in the center square drawing a crowd of locals shaking their head
in disgust. After breaking free we parked at the side of Le Caves Du
Manoir, a teeny tiny cave like venue beneath the town museum. We went
inside and ate local meats, cheese and bread with our lovely promoters
before one of them took us for a drive up into the alps. We stopped at
a restaurant that was hanging off the side of a cliff and drank local
wine and enjoyed the view before heading back to the venue. While we
waited for sound check SK and I walked through town and had a snack at
a little french bistro along the main strip, where camouflage knobby
trees adorned the street. The day was crisp and fresh and the alps
framing it all, made it picture perfect. After sound check I took a nap
with the hatch open and fell asleep to the sounds of leaves rustling
along the street. When I woke again it was dinner time. Tables were set
with candles and we were served a beautiful dinner before doors opened
and people started coming in. When we hit the stage the place was
packed and hot as hell. We unleashed a furious set and afterwards
police stormed the place, looking at passports, taking pictures, eyeing
everyone up and down. When they couldn't find a reason to arrest
anyone, they gave the club a ticket for not having soap in the
bathroom. Our new friends kept the club open all night and the wine
flowed and flowed. We laughed all night long and didn't emerge from the
cave until the sun was peaking over the mountains.
12/3/05 Bern, Switzerland
We circled the venue for over an hour and couldn't find parking. With
construction shrapnel all around it, some of our guys had to get out
and remove it so we could get a spot. The promoter was nowhere in sight
and the club was closed. We were all annoyed and SK wasn't feeling well
at all. When the promoter finally did show himself he had an aw shucks
kind of look on his face and I just wanted to slap him. There was no
food to be found and the bathrooms were filthy, toilets filled with
shit. By then SK was feeling really bad and the two of us took off for
the hospital. After many tests and lots of waiting around, he was given
some medicine and we went back to the club. After sound check we ate
dinner in the restaurant beneath the club and got dressed for the show.
The crowd was great and we had a good time. Afterwards in the dressing
room I heard noises and smelled fire. SK and I went to the window and
people were all over the street setting fires, dragging construction
into the road and screaming their heads off. First a fire truck showed
up but drove off after people started pelting it with cement blocks.
Then the riot police arrived in official gear and started tear gassing
the place. We watched as RW & JS raced out to the bus to wake the
driver and help him get the hell out of there. It was the most insane
thing I'd ever seen in my life. None of us could figure out why it all
started but watched for hours until they finally calmed down and
dispersed.
12/4/05 Zurich, Switzerland
When we arrived in Zurich all could not have been better or so I
thought. The backstage area of the club was in a separate little house
a few steps from Dynamo Werk 21 and it was filled with tons of great
food. I hung out there washed some clothes and took a shower in the
next building by the club. After that I went to to see where we would
be playing but the door was locked. I saw some ridiculous looking
people sitting at the bar but they wouldn't answer the door, just
looked passed me and rolled their eyes. Finally RW opened the door and
let me in. I looked at them with disdain, a little early for me to let
the devil out and decided to walk on. The place was small and there was
talk about another band playing. We all said no, absolutely not, there
was no time or space to accommodate them but apparently they cried and
begged and SK caved and said o.k. We were all pissed off but it was a
done deal and that was that. The day dragged on and on, then M and I
went for a walk through the beautiful city before heading back for
sound check. When it was time for the 1st band to go on I went to check
them out. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. The
clothes, the music, everything. Text book cliche', sad actually. On
top of that they wouldn't get off the stage. They kept playing and
playing. I was mortified! Finally AD went to the side of the stage and
gave them the international sign for get the fuck off and they did.
When PDHH were set to go on I went back to the tiny room beside the
stage and listened. AD was in there pissed about the opening band
coming in and taking beers and staying on stage so long, so we told the
promoters, now that they were done they had to stay out, not enough
room for our two bands and them as well. PDHH had all kinds of
technical problems on stage and we suspected it was due to the first
band carelessly getting their gear off. No sooner had I found myself
alone in the dressing room, when the hideous chick from the opening
band walked in and grabbed a few beers. I said hey take it easy! The
rest of that is for PDHH and KMFDM/crew. With that she struts to sit
across from me and says in broken English "Is there a problem here?" I
said as a matter of fact there is. You've been asked to stay out of the
dressing room and here you are. On top of that we never booked you to
play this gig but somehow you were on it. Then once you were on the
stage you wouldn't get off. Then because of your band's carelessness
getting your gear off, PDHH's gear was screwed up when they hit the
stage and their show ruined, so yes there is a problem. With that
she stood up spun around and started screaming and shaking, "I used
to love KMFDM how dare you talk to me like that! FUCK KMFDM You! You
got paid more then us, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYWAY! I started
laughing but I could feel my blood boiling and immediately
everything froze for a minute. I had a bottle in one hand and a butter
knife in the other. My mind started playing out scenarios, should I
just take her out now, oh god it would feel so good to silence this
silly bitch. As she's screaming I look at the clock, 10 minutes till
show time, hmm if I hurt her this will interrupt our show, do I really
want to mess our show up for this? Oh god, what to do, what to do. Is
it worth it? Then, blip, I was back in the moment. She was still
going on and on and I very calmly yet firmly said get the fuck out
now. She swirled on a hip and left. I rubbed my head and then
laughed my ass off in that hysterical way you do when you narrowly
avoid a car crash and said good girl! When we hit the stage the crowd
was great and the show went on without incident. Afterwards we hung
out and thankfully the 1st band had disappeared. Later we celebrated
a great tour with PDHH and took off for the airport for our flight to
Ireland.
12/5/05- Ireland
We arrived at the airport very early and still half asleep. When we got
to Ireland our promoter was there to pick us up and we dropped our gear
off at the club before going to the hotel for showers. SK and I then
went off for an excellent meal before heading back to the venue for
sound check. AD made us podiums out of beer crates and I sulked at the
thought of having to work with something so unstable and unfamiliar.
With girlfriends in town to see their boys, the dressing room was
filled with happy faces. The show was fun but I felt awkward
maneuvering myself around my unpredictable set-up. When the show was
over we hung out with everyone until the place closed and then SK and I
went back to the hotel and some of the others went to after hours
clubs.
12/6/05 -Ireland
With the day off everyone slept late and did their own thing. SK and I
bumped into JS and RW on the street and joined them for lunch and then
dropped off some laundry and walked around the city before going back
to the hotel to get dressed for dinner. Later we met up with our
promoter and ate the best Italian food I've ever had. Then we went pub
crawling before heading back to the hotel.
12/7/05- Moscow
It was about 5am when we all met in the lobby for the airport. Everyone
was a bit cranky but we made it there without incident. When we arrived
in Moscow it was a cluster fuck and customs stopped some of our boys
and went through everything with a fine tooth comb. Our Russian
assistant L was there to meet us and our worst fears were confirmed
when Alexi showed up to meet us as well. Alexi is some asshole we had
met in
Seattle once or twice, who had forced himself on us in Russia last year
and was now at the airport insisting he drive SK and me to the hotel.
Last year he had introduced us to some lovely people, I'll give him
that. But I've never liked him, trusted him or enjoyed his company. On
top of that he's styled his hair and clothes exactly like SK and openly
admitted that he sometimes passes himself off as SK. In the car
he kept telling SK he needed to dye his hair, of course looking at his
own I could see why. SK wasn't sporting his chicken yellow on this
tour, that would be a problem if Alexi was to try and assume his
identity. It took us ages to get to the hotel and when we did the
others had already arrived. We waited in the lobby for close to 2 hours
for the hotel to process our passports. While we waited we talked with
the friends who we had met the year before that Alexi had invited.
After we got our luggage into our beautiful rooms (way better hotel
then last year) L our asst. organized transportation and we went out
for a typical Russian meal. It was o.k. but Alexi made me sick drinking
from the bottle like a drunk and licking his girlfriend's face. After
that we went back to the hotel and hung out in the lobby bar, where the
prostitutes outnumbered the guests. It was fun watching them scope out
customers, running their perfectly manicured fingers through their
hair.
12/8/05 Moscow
We had a day off today and spent most of it sleeping as it was a
blizzard outside. The phone kept ringing with Alexi's calls, waking us
from our cosy sleep. We ate a snack in one of the hotel restaurants
and he found us there. Afterwards we walked around the city aimlessly
with him and his girlfriend and stopped in some Arabic restaurant for a
drink. Some kids passed the window and started snapping pictures of
Alexi and then they came inside. They spoke Russian and snapped more
pictures of him and then they left. He sat there laughing saying, "see
they think I'm SK". I said yes and you do everything you can to
perpetuate that lie, all the while looking him in the eyes so he
understood exactly how serious I was. SK looked at him with suspicion
and then looked at me. His friend picked us up after that and then we
went back to the hotel to meet the rest of the boys. Alexi kept telling
us we had to come to some party he had organized at a local club, that
it was sooooo important that we all go. Loads of kids from the show
tomorrow would be there and we couldn't let them down. With that we
went over. When we got there they wouldn't let us in, it was like some
horrible joke, "VAIT OUTZIDE"! SK and I looked at each other and
started walking off with Alexi trailing behind us. SK! SK! don't leave
its all a mistake. I glared at him and said "You drag us all here and
the guys at the club don't even know what's going on, they shook their
heads and told us to go outside. We didn't come here to stand in the
freezing rain and snow. After begging us to stay we went back with him
and finally got in. There was no one inside at all and it was a
complete waste of time. He stared at me with eyes that said bitch, I
looked right through him with eyes that said full of shit loser. We
stayed for a few drinks and signed a few autographs but all the CD
jackets looked like fakes. When I asked one kid where he got it he
pointed at Alexi. Dirty fucker bootlegging our shit. I knew he was bad
news when I saw the bruises on his ex-girlfriend's face last year. Why
any of us gave him the time of day then baffled me but from here on out
he was dead to me.
12/9/05 Moscow
We were picked up around 11am and loaded our gear into the van and
headed to the venue. It was in some school or campus. Many buildings
with classrooms, billiard rooms, conference rooms. The room we were
playing in was huge. Big stage, good crew. Everything was easy. After
eating a delicious lunch SK napped on a couch and I read my book.
Before long Alexi and his girlfriend were there. When I saw him trying
to wake SK I told him to let him sleep and ignored him. He kept asking
where we went after we left the club last night and if he'd missed
anything. I looked at him with raised eyebrows and said really Alexi SK
needs to sleep. He left but kept coming back again and again. Then he
started pestering L our asst. demanding to know where the dressing room
was. I told her no one wanted him around and under no circumstances was
he to have access. She agreed and from then on he kept coming in and
out of the main room pacing and fuming like a petulant child. Finally
after sound check he disappeared. Good riddance asshole! The show was
fantastic. With everyone pressed up against the stage we were able to
get in their faces and have a good time. Afterwards we hung out with
them taking pictures, laughing as we all tried to communicate with one
another. Then we went back to the hotel and hung out in the bar. The
prostitutes were at it again, fluttering around like butterfly's,
having the time of their lives along with everyone else.
12/10/05 - St. Petersburg
We all met in the lobby at about 6:30am for our flight to St.
Petersburg. We nearly missed the plane going through security, while
they examined every last thing we had. The plane was teeny tiny and I
sat next to RW. I thought he would pass out from the heat. I kept
taking sweaters off until I was in a t-shirt. None of us could wait for
the damn thing to land. When we arrived we were met by a group of
people who worked with our promoter. They were very professional and
cool. Thankfully they were able to help us locate our luggage when it
was discovered that SK and mine were left at the Moscow luggage hold.
We went straight to the venue and got our gear set us as fast as we
could and then ate some great food that had been prepared for us, by a
very kind older Russian lady. The show was fantastic and lots of laughs
were had by all. We did what we always do after a show and then went up
to some private room for dinner with the promoters and new friends we
had invited with us. Afterwards we went to our hotel, which was another
step up from last year and partied into the wee hours. In the early
afternoon we met in the lobby and our promoter friends took us for an
excellent meal before bring us to the airport.
I woke up as we were driving through the old town of Bergen. The scene
was that of a postcard. White houses dotting the hillside fell sharply
into the sea, framed by mountains and fog. We drove carefully through
cobblestone streets until we reached Hulen, the cave like venue we were
to play. With plenty of time until load in we headed over to our hotel,
had some breakfast and then went exploring through the charming seaside
village. We spent a considerable amount of time walking through the
small fish market admiring all the odd looking fish and sampling local
crab. After that we just walked and walked, drinking mouthfuls of salty
air and taking pictures. When we got back to the vebue load in was in
progress and we headed inside. Due to some hospitality rider confusion
piles of food were delivered and I spent the next few hours making
salads. J&R from PDHH came in during all this and showed us photos of a
huge cod they caught off the docks on their afternoon fishing
excursion. Later I went out in search of the elusive Norwegian pancake,
which I came to learn was simply American folklore. I settled for a
cold soggy crepe instead and walked back to the venue in the poring
rain. Sound check was stressful as it was our first night with a new
FOH. The room presented many challenges and we spent hours trying to
make it manageable for everyone. Pre-show I just wandered around
watching PDHH and talking to fans. When we hit the stage we all
struggled with our mixes but made the best of it and had a successful
show in the end. With an extremely long drive ahead of us to Berlin, we
took off as soon as possible.
11/23/05 - Oslo, Norway
I didn't want to miss the drive from Bergen to Oslo as I had heard it
is one of the most beautiful drives in all of Europe. With some kind of
subliminal alarm clock in place, I woke at 7am and peeked my head
through my bunk curtain. Immediately I threw some cloths on, grabbed my
camera, pushed back the hatch of the roof and starting snapping away. I
raced downstairs as quietly as I could to make myself a cup of tea and
watch from the window. When I got downstairs M was sitting there
transfixed by the view. It was other worldly, in a lord of the rings
kind of way. Frozen forests, snow capped mountains jutting into the sea
and strange waterfall formations frozen mid flow. Frighteningly steep
curvy roads that dropped into an abyss made me thankful I was asleep
when we made this trip in darkness a few nights before. A few hours
later we stopped at a little family owned restaurant on a hilltop and
the few of us that were awake went inside and ate a delicious
breakfast, accompanied by the thickest hot chocolate I've ever had.
When we took off again I curled up in my bunk and went back to sleep
until we reached the venue. "Betong", the student complex we were
Playing, was in the middle of nowhere. Nothing around to see unless you
wanted to take a cab, train or bus. The inside was impressive enough
but there wasn't any crew or anything in our dressing room when we got
there. I took a shower and dried myself off with toilet paper. When the
promoter did arrive he seemed overwhelmed and everything took a long
time to organize. When we hit the stage I was disappointed. The turn
out sucked and quite a few people there were sitting at tables drinking
wine like they were at some kind of lounge bar. I did everything I
could to get into it but I was completely bored. I couldn't wait for it
to be over and get the hell out.
11/24/05 Berlin, Germany
I woke up as we were arriving at the Ferry. Once we parked inside we
all went up to the main deck and either got something to eat or browsed
through the duty free shops. I found band and crew playing poker and
hung out there for the duration of the trip. When we docked we took
pictures with Lutz (our driver) and gave him a big hug. Yup tonight we
would have yet another driver, our last. Lutz couldn't stay with us as
his lovely Susanna couldn't be apart from him for more then 10 days at
a time. We knew this from the beginning but hoped he'd change his mind
and were all a little sad when it came time to say goodbye. At least
we'd have him until Berlin. The drive was endless. Took forever with
all the rush hour traffic and we raced to get everything set up when we
got there. I was excited as my sister who I hadn't seen in ages would
be there and word around the club was that the place would be packed.
Everyone kicked ass and we made it through sound check before doors. I
got dressed as quickly as possible and starting searching for my sister
with mad anticipation. Finally I found her and smothered her in a sea
of kisses. We hung out in the bar and talked with friends and before I
knew it it was time for the show. The crowd was fantastic, the sound
great and we all fed off each other's energy, resulting in a great
show. Afterward it was one big party. The club stayed open and another
opened across the court yard and we just bounced from club to club
talking, laughing, making new friends. Later my sister and her group
came on the bus and we had our own little party, since we didn't have
to leave for Poland until the morning.
11/26/05 Gydnia, Poland
It was freezing in Poland. Inside the dressing room there was a little
fire furnace glowing but unless you were sitting right on top of it,
the rest of the room was cold. We were starving but the only provisions
provided for us were some pickled fish selections, bread and what
seemed to be spam. YUK! I ate a few slices of bread and hoped later at
dinner something edible would appear. Since the club was in a desolate
area none of us ventured out to discover the city of Gydnia. Instead we
stayed at the club setting up for the show and hanging out in our
backstage area. Later we were given a choice of roast chicken or
pirogues for dinner. Since almost everywhere we had been so far had
given us roast chicken most of us opted for the pirogues. Of course
this was the one day chicken was the better choice! The perogies were
disgusting. Mysterious slop stuffed in slimy gluey pockets of dough.
Ughhh. I just wanted to get the show over with and get the hell out of
Poland. When show time rolled around we hit the stage and they all came
up close with cameras in hand, snapping away. By the second song they
were holding their cameras about an inch away from my face and it was
very distracting. I tried to gently push them away but they only became
more determined. On top of that they were doing some kind of local
slapping thing I'd never seen done before. With hands in the air they
slapped them down on the stage or on whatever band member happened to
take the center. It was bizarre and annoying. When the show was over I
was relieved. We went out front to talk with them but nobody recognized
me after I had changed, so I sat at the bar and had a drink. Some guy
came up to me and started talking in Polish. I tilted my head to the
side like a confused dog but he kept chattering away. Finally I just
said I haven't any idea what you're trying to say. Then in perfect
English, he said, I thought you were a Polish girl I met here last
week. I laughed and then he bought me a strange shot off vodka with
raspberry syrup and hot sauce. By accepting he thought I was interested
because before long he was climbing onto my bar stool trying to get
extra friendly. Thankfully AS happened to come by, I introduced the two
of them and slid away. Everyone seemed to be having a good time but I
just wanted out. The people were nice enough but I didn't have common
ground with anyone, so I grabbed my stuff and went to the bus and
watched a movie.
11/27/05 Prague, Czech Republic
I couldn't wait to get out of the bus. It seemed like we were driving
forever and still no sight of the club. Huge imposing buildings with
strict authority lined the streets and I wondered if this was what
people were referring to, when they described Prague as one of the most
beautiful cities. Finally beyond the city on some cull de sac we found
our club. Before we got the last piece of equipment in, AD slipped on
the ice and had a nasty bruise on his hand that was turning blue by the
minute. Inside the promoters organized laundry for us and delicious
food was being brought into our dressing room. They organized
transportation for us so we could go into the city and see the sights
and we accepted with as much grace as our giddy excitement would
allow. Laundry and transportation from the city and back WoW! So a
bunch of us took off to see the sights. Everyone seemed to splinter off
into little groups when we got there and SK and I took off on our own.
The X-Mas market was in full swing and the delicious smell of local
treats filling the air. I heard English more then anything else. It
must have been the time of year as the streets were teaming with
tourists. SK and I walked further on hoping to find something more
authentic, undisturbed, but it wasn't to be. So we we sat at a cafe
and people watched until the designated hour of the first shuttle back
to the venue. When we got back everyone was in good spirits and we
jumped on stage for sound check. After that we did some interviews and
then ate the best meal of the tour so far, at least as far as I was
concerned. They served us heaping plates of roast pork with homemade
sauerkraut, potatoes and a vegetable with cheese which I didn't try.
Everyone was smiling afterwards rubbing their full bellies. By the time
I had gotten dressed the club was packed. I could hear them screaming
and whistling making all kinds of noise. When we hit the stage and
started our show, they were screaming so loud I could barely hear
myself, it was great! One of my top 3 shows of the tour so far.
Afterward we hung out with everyone until they closed the place up.
Later when loading our gear out to the bus, JS got trapped in the
elevator. It was scary for him but funny for the rest of us. I was on
the floor nearly pissing myself with laughter, as I heard his muffled
voice scream , help, help I can't get out.....When we finally did get
him out we stayed until the wee wee hours enjoying the hospitality of
our promoters before taking off Budapest.
11/28/05 Budapest, Hungry
We arrived at A-38, the ship we would be playing on a very rainy dismal
day. A strange sculpture of a baby adorned the top, with what looked
like a giant asshole for a face. I laughed taking pictures wondering
who came up with this odd perspective of infancy and walked down the
plank to the ship. Inside there was a beautiful restaurant framed by
picture windows and down in the basement was the club. Our backstage
area must have been a boiler room at one time as huge pipes ran from
ceiling to floor in a tangle of steel. Converted into a a comfortable
bar area, leather couches and chairs filled the space and a tray of
sandwiches filled a nearby table. Our promoters were great and
entertained us from morning till night with stories and talk of
everything Budapest. In the afternoon JS cut his hand bad on a piece of
gear and it was clear AD had to go to the hospital for his hand as it
was swollen beyond belief, all shades of purple and blue. Some very
cool crew guys took them to an army doctor friend and the rest of us
were brought upstairs where we enjoyed an elegant sit down dinner in
the restaurant. The club filled with a respectable amount of people
and the show was incredibly fun. Afterwards we talked with the fans and
then went backstage again to celebrate a great show with our promoters.
The vodka kept flowing, I tried to sneak out several times but they
kept dragging me back in for one last toast. I'm pretty sure I crawled
up the ship plank back to the bus.
11/29/05 Vienna, Austria
When I woke up we were parked in a garage. I was very confused and shot
out of my bunk like a rocket fearing that some kind of bus malfunction
had occurred while I was asleep. Outside the bus I walked the perimeter
until I found a door that lead me into the venue. Very interesting I
muttered to myself and then found an elevator that led me backstage, to
a duplex room with tons of yummy food. There were gorgeous marble
bathrooms and endless rooms with comfy couches, tables and chairs. I
was very happy. One by one as everyone woke up and found themselves
there, no wanted to leave it was so cosy. The city was a train ride
away and I had a huge headache from the night before and decided to
stay at the club. Later SK and I walked to a mall nearby to get some
stuff we needed and then it was back to the club for sound check. Later
dinner was prepared and a beautiful black forest cake was brought up
for us. The show brought many fans from Budapest and Prague as well as
local fans and a good time was had by all.
11/30/05, Nurnberg, Germany
I hated this place from the moment I stepped off the bus till the
moment we packed our last piece of gear in to leave. The venue was
generous enough with the food but the place was freezing and the stage
was so wobbly I wondered what the consequence would be during the show.
With so much time on our hands JH and I went for a walk in search of
the city. We walked and walked but all we could find was a huge
supermarket that was of little interest. We passed SK on the way back
and he wanted to see it for himself so I walked with him. We passed a
nice looking restaurant from the outside and went in to get some lunch.
The inside was a stark contrast from the outside. It looked like a
cover for something. Odd looking patrons sat around one big table
glaring at us in suspicion. No sooner had our food arrived when some
other people came in and a man came over and aggressively banged on our
table a few times before walking off. SK and I looked at each other and
wondered what the hell it meant. Later a friend told us it was local
custom, a way of saying hi... Back at the club with sound check in
progress, we gave the stage a test run. I shook my head and asked AD
to nail my podium down as it was ready to fall over with the first
note of Hau Ruck. I was very worried. When the show started I caught
my sequencer as it was flying off my podium. AD tried to tape it
down but the vibrations from the stage were so crazy I spent the
rest of the show holding it steady. The crowd was cool though and
we hung out with them afterwards before taking off for Stuttgart.
12/1/05 Stuttgart
When we arrived at Rohre, the venue wasn't opened yet so SK, JH and I
took a walk through the city. The X-mas market was massive with petting
zoo's, rides for kids, food stalls, gift stalls, you name it they had
it. It was very festive and a feast for the eyes. With endless shops we
walked and walked until we worked up an appetite. JH took off in search
of something he needed and SK and I went in search of a restaurant
where we could get a typical meal. We settled on what looked to be the
perfect place but it was awful and we left disappointed. Back at the
club things were moving slow. They didn't have a monitor board and
there was a buzz that could not be located. The local crew weren't very
helpful and frustration hung in the air like a thick fog. SK's mother
and brother were driving out to see the show and take some of our luggage
back to Munich and our booking agent and merchandising agent were
coming down as well. It was a stressful afternoon. When show time
rolled around and the place was full. Drunk people were falling all
over themselves at the front of the stage and one of them passed out
trying to get on the stage. I tried to have a great time and enjoy it
but there were so many distracting assholes at the front I put myself
on auto pilot for most of the show. When it was over we went back to
the bus and stuffed all our clothes into garbage bags and loaded them
into SK's mom's car and then hung out on the bus with our bands/crew
and talked about the border crossing into Switzerland and potential
hold ups we might be faced with.
12/2/05 Martigny, Switzerland
When I woke up we were long past the border and driving through the
little Swiss village of Martigny. Our bus skidded on the ice and got
stuck in the center square drawing a crowd of locals shaking their head
in disgust. After breaking free we parked at the side of Le Caves Du
Manoir, a teeny tiny cave like venue beneath the town museum. We went
inside and ate local meats, cheese and bread with our lovely promoters
before one of them took us for a drive up into the alps. We stopped at
a restaurant that was hanging off the side of a cliff and drank local
wine and enjoyed the view before heading back to the venue. While we
waited for sound check SK and I walked through town and had a snack at
a little french bistro along the main strip, where camouflage knobby
trees adorned the street. The day was crisp and fresh and the alps
framing it all, made it picture perfect. After sound check I took a nap
with the hatch open and fell asleep to the sounds of leaves rustling
along the street. When I woke again it was dinner time. Tables were set
with candles and we were served a beautiful dinner before doors opened
and people started coming in. When we hit the stage the place was
packed and hot as hell. We unleashed a furious set and afterwards
police stormed the place, looking at passports, taking pictures, eyeing
everyone up and down. When they couldn't find a reason to arrest
anyone, they gave the club a ticket for not having soap in the
bathroom. Our new friends kept the club open all night and the wine
flowed and flowed. We laughed all night long and didn't emerge from the
cave until the sun was peaking over the mountains.
12/3/05 Bern, Switzerland
We circled the venue for over an hour and couldn't find parking. With
construction shrapnel all around it, some of our guys had to get out
and remove it so we could get a spot. The promoter was nowhere in sight
and the club was closed. We were all annoyed and SK wasn't feeling well
at all. When the promoter finally did show himself he had an aw shucks
kind of look on his face and I just wanted to slap him. There was no
food to be found and the bathrooms were filthy, toilets filled with
shit. By then SK was feeling really bad and the two of us took off for
the hospital. After many tests and lots of waiting around, he was given
some medicine and we went back to the club. After sound check we ate
dinner in the restaurant beneath the club and got dressed for the show.
The crowd was great and we had a good time. Afterwards in the dressing
room I heard noises and smelled fire. SK and I went to the window and
people were all over the street setting fires, dragging construction
into the road and screaming their heads off. First a fire truck showed
up but drove off after people started pelting it with cement blocks.
Then the riot police arrived in official gear and started tear gassing
the place. We watched as RW & JS raced out to the bus to wake the
driver and help him get the hell out of there. It was the most insane
thing I'd ever seen in my life. None of us could figure out why it all
started but watched for hours until they finally calmed down and
dispersed.
12/4/05 Zurich, Switzerland
When we arrived in Zurich all could not have been better or so I
thought. The backstage area of the club was in a separate little house
a few steps from Dynamo Werk 21 and it was filled with tons of great
food. I hung out there washed some clothes and took a shower in the
next building by the club. After that I went to to see where we would
be playing but the door was locked. I saw some ridiculous looking
people sitting at the bar but they wouldn't answer the door, just
looked passed me and rolled their eyes. Finally RW opened the door and
let me in. I looked at them with disdain, a little early for me to let
the devil out and decided to walk on. The place was small and there was
talk about another band playing. We all said no, absolutely not, there
was no time or space to accommodate them but apparently they cried and
begged and SK caved and said o.k. We were all pissed off but it was a
done deal and that was that. The day dragged on and on, then M and I
went for a walk through the beautiful city before heading back for
sound check. When it was time for the 1st band to go on I went to check
them out. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. The
clothes, the music, everything. Text book cliche', sad actually. On
top of that they wouldn't get off the stage. They kept playing and
playing. I was mortified! Finally AD went to the side of the stage and
gave them the international sign for get the fuck off and they did.
When PDHH were set to go on I went back to the tiny room beside the
stage and listened. AD was in there pissed about the opening band
coming in and taking beers and staying on stage so long, so we told the
promoters, now that they were done they had to stay out, not enough
room for our two bands and them as well. PDHH had all kinds of
technical problems on stage and we suspected it was due to the first
band carelessly getting their gear off. No sooner had I found myself
alone in the dressing room, when the hideous chick from the opening
band walked in and grabbed a few beers. I said hey take it easy! The
rest of that is for PDHH and KMFDM/crew. With that she struts to sit
across from me and says in broken English "Is there a problem here?" I
said as a matter of fact there is. You've been asked to stay out of the
dressing room and here you are. On top of that we never booked you to
play this gig but somehow you were on it. Then once you were on the
stage you wouldn't get off. Then because of your band's carelessness
getting your gear off, PDHH's gear was screwed up when they hit the
stage and their show ruined, so yes there is a problem. With that
she stood up spun around and started screaming and shaking, "I used
to love KMFDM how dare you talk to me like that! FUCK KMFDM You! You
got paid more then us, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYWAY! I started
laughing but I could feel my blood boiling and immediately
everything froze for a minute. I had a bottle in one hand and a butter
knife in the other. My mind started playing out scenarios, should I
just take her out now, oh god it would feel so good to silence this
silly bitch. As she's screaming I look at the clock, 10 minutes till
show time, hmm if I hurt her this will interrupt our show, do I really
want to mess our show up for this? Oh god, what to do, what to do. Is
it worth it? Then, blip, I was back in the moment. She was still
going on and on and I very calmly yet firmly said get the fuck out
now. She swirled on a hip and left. I rubbed my head and then
laughed my ass off in that hysterical way you do when you narrowly
avoid a car crash and said good girl! When we hit the stage the crowd
was great and the show went on without incident. Afterwards we hung
out and thankfully the 1st band had disappeared. Later we celebrated
a great tour with PDHH and took off for the airport for our flight to
Ireland.
12/5/05- Ireland
We arrived at the airport very early and still half asleep. When we got
to Ireland our promoter was there to pick us up and we dropped our gear
off at the club before going to the hotel for showers. SK and I then
went off for an excellent meal before heading back to the venue for
sound check. AD made us podiums out of beer crates and I sulked at the
thought of having to work with something so unstable and unfamiliar.
With girlfriends in town to see their boys, the dressing room was
filled with happy faces. The show was fun but I felt awkward
maneuvering myself around my unpredictable set-up. When the show was
over we hung out with everyone until the place closed and then SK and I
went back to the hotel and some of the others went to after hours
clubs.
12/6/05 -Ireland
With the day off everyone slept late and did their own thing. SK and I
bumped into JS and RW on the street and joined them for lunch and then
dropped off some laundry and walked around the city before going back
to the hotel to get dressed for dinner. Later we met up with our
promoter and ate the best Italian food I've ever had. Then we went pub
crawling before heading back to the hotel.
12/7/05- Moscow
It was about 5am when we all met in the lobby for the airport. Everyone
was a bit cranky but we made it there without incident. When we arrived
in Moscow it was a cluster fuck and customs stopped some of our boys
and went through everything with a fine tooth comb. Our Russian
assistant L was there to meet us and our worst fears were confirmed
when Alexi showed up to meet us as well. Alexi is some asshole we had
met in
Seattle once or twice, who had forced himself on us in Russia last year
and was now at the airport insisting he drive SK and me to the hotel.
Last year he had introduced us to some lovely people, I'll give him
that. But I've never liked him, trusted him or enjoyed his company. On
top of that he's styled his hair and clothes exactly like SK and openly
admitted that he sometimes passes himself off as SK. In the car
he kept telling SK he needed to dye his hair, of course looking at his
own I could see why. SK wasn't sporting his chicken yellow on this
tour, that would be a problem if Alexi was to try and assume his
identity. It took us ages to get to the hotel and when we did the
others had already arrived. We waited in the lobby for close to 2 hours
for the hotel to process our passports. While we waited we talked with
the friends who we had met the year before that Alexi had invited.
After we got our luggage into our beautiful rooms (way better hotel
then last year) L our asst. organized transportation and we went out
for a typical Russian meal. It was o.k. but Alexi made me sick drinking
from the bottle like a drunk and licking his girlfriend's face. After
that we went back to the hotel and hung out in the lobby bar, where the
prostitutes outnumbered the guests. It was fun watching them scope out
customers, running their perfectly manicured fingers through their
hair.
12/8/05 Moscow
We had a day off today and spent most of it sleeping as it was a
blizzard outside. The phone kept ringing with Alexi's calls, waking us
from our cosy sleep. We ate a snack in one of the hotel restaurants
and he found us there. Afterwards we walked around the city aimlessly
with him and his girlfriend and stopped in some Arabic restaurant for a
drink. Some kids passed the window and started snapping pictures of
Alexi and then they came inside. They spoke Russian and snapped more
pictures of him and then they left. He sat there laughing saying, "see
they think I'm SK". I said yes and you do everything you can to
perpetuate that lie, all the while looking him in the eyes so he
understood exactly how serious I was. SK looked at him with suspicion
and then looked at me. His friend picked us up after that and then we
went back to the hotel to meet the rest of the boys. Alexi kept telling
us we had to come to some party he had organized at a local club, that
it was sooooo important that we all go. Loads of kids from the show
tomorrow would be there and we couldn't let them down. With that we
went over. When we got there they wouldn't let us in, it was like some
horrible joke, "VAIT OUTZIDE"! SK and I looked at each other and
started walking off with Alexi trailing behind us. SK! SK! don't leave
its all a mistake. I glared at him and said "You drag us all here and
the guys at the club don't even know what's going on, they shook their
heads and told us to go outside. We didn't come here to stand in the
freezing rain and snow. After begging us to stay we went back with him
and finally got in. There was no one inside at all and it was a
complete waste of time. He stared at me with eyes that said bitch, I
looked right through him with eyes that said full of shit loser. We
stayed for a few drinks and signed a few autographs but all the CD
jackets looked like fakes. When I asked one kid where he got it he
pointed at Alexi. Dirty fucker bootlegging our shit. I knew he was bad
news when I saw the bruises on his ex-girlfriend's face last year. Why
any of us gave him the time of day then baffled me but from here on out
he was dead to me.
12/9/05 Moscow
We were picked up around 11am and loaded our gear into the van and
headed to the venue. It was in some school or campus. Many buildings
with classrooms, billiard rooms, conference rooms. The room we were
playing in was huge. Big stage, good crew. Everything was easy. After
eating a delicious lunch SK napped on a couch and I read my book.
Before long Alexi and his girlfriend were there. When I saw him trying
to wake SK I told him to let him sleep and ignored him. He kept asking
where we went after we left the club last night and if he'd missed
anything. I looked at him with raised eyebrows and said really Alexi SK
needs to sleep. He left but kept coming back again and again. Then he
started pestering L our asst. demanding to know where the dressing room
was. I told her no one wanted him around and under no circumstances was
he to have access. She agreed and from then on he kept coming in and
out of the main room pacing and fuming like a petulant child. Finally
after sound check he disappeared. Good riddance asshole! The show was
fantastic. With everyone pressed up against the stage we were able to
get in their faces and have a good time. Afterwards we hung out with
them taking pictures, laughing as we all tried to communicate with one
another. Then we went back to the hotel and hung out in the bar. The
prostitutes were at it again, fluttering around like butterfly's,
having the time of their lives along with everyone else.
12/10/05 - St. Petersburg
We all met in the lobby at about 6:30am for our flight to St.
Petersburg. We nearly missed the plane going through security, while
they examined every last thing we had. The plane was teeny tiny and I
sat next to RW. I thought he would pass out from the heat. I kept
taking sweaters off until I was in a t-shirt. None of us could wait for
the damn thing to land. When we arrived we were met by a group of
people who worked with our promoter. They were very professional and
cool. Thankfully they were able to help us locate our luggage when it
was discovered that SK and mine were left at the Moscow luggage hold.
We went straight to the venue and got our gear set us as fast as we
could and then ate some great food that had been prepared for us, by a
very kind older Russian lady. The show was fantastic and lots of laughs
were had by all. We did what we always do after a show and then went up
to some private room for dinner with the promoters and new friends we
had invited with us. Afterwards we went to our hotel, which was another
step up from last year and partied into the wee hours. In the early
afternoon we met in the lobby and our promoter friends took us for an
excellent meal before bring us to the airport.