Hey people, want an update
I have no idea who's even out there anymore? Hello? Is this microphone live?
Anyway.
I am still hellaciously depressed and not handling things well. BUT I did go to a doctor. He's got some medication in mind for me that should apparently help me. I had to get my bloodwork done and cleared first, and the okay came through tonight. I'll be able to pick up the medication tomorrow.
I know that shit won't change overnight, but regardless I'm very hopeful. I've been steadily deteriorating for a while now and something needs to change for me.
Part of the problem is...
So, I don't believe in the afterlife. When someone dies, that's it, that's the end of it. For me, personally, that means when I die... the universe basically ends. Nothing matters. I'm going to be gone and unable to witness it, so what does it matter?
Which leads to what do I matter and i can already feel my heart starting to race thinking about this.
You know that line in Serenity? "Please god make me a stone"? My manta is "please make me a robot" or "let me be immortal."
Death terrifies me, it makes me shake and cry and I don't understand how people seem to function.
So if anyone has any tips on that or knows how I can go about becoming a robot... lemme know.
Until them, I'm just gonna have to hope this medication I'm going to go on helps.
Originally posted at DW. Comment here or there. DW comments:
Anyway.
I am still hellaciously depressed and not handling things well. BUT I did go to a doctor. He's got some medication in mind for me that should apparently help me. I had to get my bloodwork done and cleared first, and the okay came through tonight. I'll be able to pick up the medication tomorrow.
I know that shit won't change overnight, but regardless I'm very hopeful. I've been steadily deteriorating for a while now and something needs to change for me.
Part of the problem is...
So, I don't believe in the afterlife. When someone dies, that's it, that's the end of it. For me, personally, that means when I die... the universe basically ends. Nothing matters. I'm going to be gone and unable to witness it, so what does it matter?
Which leads to what do I matter and i can already feel my heart starting to race thinking about this.
You know that line in Serenity? "Please god make me a stone"? My manta is "please make me a robot" or "let me be immortal."
Death terrifies me, it makes me shake and cry and I don't understand how people seem to function.
So if anyone has any tips on that or knows how I can go about becoming a robot... lemme know.
Until them, I'm just gonna have to hope this medication I'm going to go on helps.
Originally posted at DW. Comment here or there. DW comments: