I won't use words again, they don't mean what I mean, they don't say what I said
The annoying thing about being logical and self-aware is that it doesn't really help when you need it to. I recognize I have no reason to be depressed and that I should just keep calm and rock on. And usually I do. Being aware that you have no reason to be so upset often helps you to move past the feeling.
Then all of a sudden it doesn't and the smallest thing sets you off and fills you with this rage or panic and you can't breathe and it makes no sense. You need to stop and focus on getting your mountain of schoolwork done and get through your job. Letting it eat up at you is fucking things up and you cannot afford it, not with school being so dire and your teachers being so unsympathetic. Saying "I'm in the middle of some sort of breakdown," does not work as an excuse.
And, of course, by "you", I mean "me", and by this entire post, I mean, "for fuck's sake, why can't I snap out of this, I hate it, only being happy after watching an episode of Pushing Daisies, like a visual anti-depressant that runs out soon after the end credits. I have copious amounts of shit to do, this can't be happening now when I am working every day this week and I have two major assignments due in as many days! BOTHER THIS NONSENSE."
Originally posted at DW. Comment here or there. DW comments:
Then all of a sudden it doesn't and the smallest thing sets you off and fills you with this rage or panic and you can't breathe and it makes no sense. You need to stop and focus on getting your mountain of schoolwork done and get through your job. Letting it eat up at you is fucking things up and you cannot afford it, not with school being so dire and your teachers being so unsympathetic. Saying "I'm in the middle of some sort of breakdown," does not work as an excuse.
And, of course, by "you", I mean "me", and by this entire post, I mean, "for fuck's sake, why can't I snap out of this, I hate it, only being happy after watching an episode of Pushing Daisies, like a visual anti-depressant that runs out soon after the end credits. I have copious amounts of shit to do, this can't be happening now when I am working every day this week and I have two major assignments due in as many days! BOTHER THIS NONSENSE."
Originally posted at DW. Comment here or there. DW comments: