Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
GEORGE W. BUSH
> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
> to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
> either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
> RALPH NADER
> The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
> polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
> unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
> by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
> PAT BUCHANAN
> To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
> RUSH LIMBAUGH
> I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
> getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
> there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
> crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
> can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
> tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
> money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to
> cross.
> JERRY FALWELL
> Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
> the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
> "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
> friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
> become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
> abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
> phrases like "the other side."
> DR. SEUSS
> Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
> the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told!
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY
> To die. In the rain. Alone.
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
> without having their motives called into question.
> GRANDPA
> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
> told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
> us.
> BARBARA WALTERS
> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to
> the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
> experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
> life-long dream of crossing the road.
> ARISTOTLE
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> KARL MARX
> It was an historical inevitability.
> SADDAM HUSSEIN
> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
> in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
> VOLTAIRE
> I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
> death its right to do it.
> RONALD REAGAN
> What chicken?
> CAPTAIN KIRK
> To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> FOX MULDER
> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
> chickens have to cross before you believe it?
> SIGMUND FREUD
> The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
> the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
> ALBERT EINSTEIN
> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
> the chicken?
> THE BIBLE
> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
> "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there
> was much rejoicing.
> COLONEL SANDERS
> I missed one?
In the News:
School starts in two days. At this time in two days, i will most likely be phsycing myself out about it, and thinking about what to wear. Mostly the latter. But i guess I'm as ready to go back as I can be. I'm sort of nervous as I'm not sure what my schedule is yet. I'm going up to school tomorrow to get it and hopefully negotiate a few classes. The counselor's office is about to see a different side of the nice studious overachieving chick whos'a lways got questions. And it's not gonna be pretty. Just wait. I'm ready to see people again though. ANybody but my parents. But on the other hand, this guy who I hate with a passion is coming back to KHS this year and I'm dreading seeing him. Balch. Drew Schmidt. What a fucker. But on the other side, I can't wait to see people who shall remain nameless...All i have to say is if i don't get the courage to act on atleast one of my many crushes, I'm doomed to alone for the rest of my LIFE! And that's a pretty bleak future. Damn. I wish Trys was here. ::pout::
In other news:
I guess there isn't any other news....that's sad.
In conclusion:
"I never practice; I always play." --Wanda Landowska
> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
> to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
> either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
> RALPH NADER
> The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
> polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
> unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
> by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
> PAT BUCHANAN
> To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
> RUSH LIMBAUGH
> I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
> getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
> there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
> crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
> can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
> tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
> money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to
> cross.
> JERRY FALWELL
> Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
> the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
> "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
> friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
> become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
> abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
> phrases like "the other side."
> DR. SEUSS
> Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
> the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told!
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY
> To die. In the rain. Alone.
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
> without having their motives called into question.
> GRANDPA
> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
> told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
> us.
> BARBARA WALTERS
> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to
> the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
> experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
> life-long dream of crossing the road.
> ARISTOTLE
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> KARL MARX
> It was an historical inevitability.
> SADDAM HUSSEIN
> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
> in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
> VOLTAIRE
> I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
> death its right to do it.
> RONALD REAGAN
> What chicken?
> CAPTAIN KIRK
> To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> FOX MULDER
> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
> chickens have to cross before you believe it?
> SIGMUND FREUD
> The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
> the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
> ALBERT EINSTEIN
> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
> the chicken?
> THE BIBLE
> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
> "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there
> was much rejoicing.
> COLONEL SANDERS
> I missed one?
In the News:
School starts in two days. At this time in two days, i will most likely be phsycing myself out about it, and thinking about what to wear. Mostly the latter. But i guess I'm as ready to go back as I can be. I'm sort of nervous as I'm not sure what my schedule is yet. I'm going up to school tomorrow to get it and hopefully negotiate a few classes. The counselor's office is about to see a different side of the nice studious overachieving chick whos'a lways got questions. And it's not gonna be pretty. Just wait. I'm ready to see people again though. ANybody but my parents. But on the other hand, this guy who I hate with a passion is coming back to KHS this year and I'm dreading seeing him. Balch. Drew Schmidt. What a fucker. But on the other side, I can't wait to see people who shall remain nameless...All i have to say is if i don't get the courage to act on atleast one of my many crushes, I'm doomed to alone for the rest of my LIFE! And that's a pretty bleak future. Damn. I wish Trys was here. ::pout::
In other news:
I guess there isn't any other news....that's sad.
In conclusion:
"I never practice; I always play." --Wanda Landowska