(no subject)
since last nights events of wendys / vets / bball with lindner/ mall with cara cheered me up insanely, i think the good mood just carried over into today. i think the crying stage is finally over after 2 and a half days. now all thats left is the sore throat from the crying. and the insomnia... i hate laying in bed thinking.. little things make me tear up a bit, but i'm okay. its not the end of the world. plus its beautiful outside. im pretty sure ive made my college choices. i'm making an offer on a car. i have a job interview tomorrow. a few days ago i felt like my life had gotten blown completely off track but its all falling back into place now. not that i wouldnt take my "old life" back in a second, but thats not something thats possible so ill have to deal... and granted, i wish all this senior project shit was over with and i wish i was going to my senior prom, or that brad would talk to me or show any sign of remotely caring that i exist- but i guess you cant have everything. actually theres a lot more i wish for- like being able to just come out and say i miss him, but i cant of course because theres no guarantee he feels the same and im not about to loose the last bit of dignity i still have.. and its hard to see him in school since we act like total strangers.. and i wish i could call him and ask if we could get together and talk, but maybe after more time goes by, cause i know hes not gona bring it up.. arrgh and i want people to stop talking about it being mutual, does it look like i agreed to cry about this for 2 days? i dont think so. maybe he told people that, or maybe they just assumed. either way it sucks. i hope his family doesnt think it was me this time, or theyll hate me.. :-\ enough sob story, i was doing better today..
i still have that same song in my head "long walk home" by this day and age... damn steves fault.. haha but its a really good song. "we've come too far, just to set our eyes on a new star" "ill walk on clouds til you come down, just promise me you'll always leave the ground" whoever wrote thats a genius. its wonderful. anyways i got some errands to run soon. gotta put on that smile and play it off like it's all good..
"THIS ONES FOR YOU, SEASHELL" ha
i still have that same song in my head "long walk home" by this day and age... damn steves fault.. haha but its a really good song. "we've come too far, just to set our eyes on a new star" "ill walk on clouds til you come down, just promise me you'll always leave the ground" whoever wrote thats a genius. its wonderful. anyways i got some errands to run soon. gotta put on that smile and play it off like it's all good..
"THIS ONES FOR YOU, SEASHELL" ha