A time of change :)
Wow - it's been a long time since I've updated my online journal and I realized how much I miss writing out what I've been feeling and doing in my life. I haven't updated lately probably because I've been so stressed out from work and issues that keep arising there. It just seemed like the easy way out to complain about it and find bad habits to fill my break time to cope with it.
The truth of the matter is - work isn't that bad after all, and I can only take it one day at a time. It also has been because I start each morning barely waking up in time to get ready and filling my day with fatty foods, nicotine, and caffeine. I was never a smoker at a young age, and have been experimenting with it lately. I think the main thing that has driven me to this is when my coworkers and I start complaining about a company policy/ lack thereof they end the rant with "I need a smoke". I have been trying to "enjoy" smoking as an outlet/filler for this state of mind but it really hasn't helped. I have barely smoked a whole packs worth in my life but lately I've been going against and with it again and again in a really rediculous cycle. Mainly being "I really like smoking" and then going to "I hate smoking and never want to do it again". Well after doing this a few times and really realizing how nasty it feels (this is just smoking 1-2 cigs a day) I have made a plan to quit before it really grabs hold of me. I've always been good at using mind over matter and have never had a strong addictive personality. I grew up seeing my aunts smoking a pack + a day, and throwing away my parents cigs when they smoked when I was younger and this actually didn't get my parents mad but opened their eyes to quit. They both quit cold turkey and I've recently realized I need to quit given all the facts out there and the fact that I'm associating smoking w/ negative feelings.
The truth is everyone makes mistakes, and deciding to try (considering I never got hooked)smoking was a bad decision on my part, and I realized it wasn't my thing. I now have an understanding on how gripping it is considering I've been doing it off and on the last month or so and am luckily not addicted to it. I still was getting the dizzy/sick feeling associated with it and realized it wasn't for me.
I'm going to replace this with jogging/walking every morning for a half hour. I will also replace fatty hamburgers and fries with a salad, or a grilled chicken sandwich. When I worked at Pizzicato I ate veggie pizza and chicken caesar salads every day and actually was in pretty good shape from tossing dough and running around all day. Now I'm in tech I'm ballooning out a bit from sitting on my arse all day. I've even noticed some shirts not buttoning like they used to. It's definitely not too late and I'm ready for a change for the better rather than for the worse.
I truly have sympathy for my smoking friends at work, and don't condemn them in any way whatsoever now. They have even been telling me not to start and I understand why now - it isn't enjoyable to me at all anymore.
I think I'll update in here more and this will help me stay focused. God, My wife, great family, and my productive music hobby has really opened my eyes to focus on the positive things in life and realized I need to make a change for the better by cutting coffee/smoking/etc. out, and getting back in shape.
thanks for reading this, and it feels good to say hello to old friends!
The truth of the matter is - work isn't that bad after all, and I can only take it one day at a time. It also has been because I start each morning barely waking up in time to get ready and filling my day with fatty foods, nicotine, and caffeine. I was never a smoker at a young age, and have been experimenting with it lately. I think the main thing that has driven me to this is when my coworkers and I start complaining about a company policy/ lack thereof they end the rant with "I need a smoke". I have been trying to "enjoy" smoking as an outlet/filler for this state of mind but it really hasn't helped. I have barely smoked a whole packs worth in my life but lately I've been going against and with it again and again in a really rediculous cycle. Mainly being "I really like smoking" and then going to "I hate smoking and never want to do it again". Well after doing this a few times and really realizing how nasty it feels (this is just smoking 1-2 cigs a day) I have made a plan to quit before it really grabs hold of me. I've always been good at using mind over matter and have never had a strong addictive personality. I grew up seeing my aunts smoking a pack + a day, and throwing away my parents cigs when they smoked when I was younger and this actually didn't get my parents mad but opened their eyes to quit. They both quit cold turkey and I've recently realized I need to quit given all the facts out there and the fact that I'm associating smoking w/ negative feelings.
The truth is everyone makes mistakes, and deciding to try (considering I never got hooked)smoking was a bad decision on my part, and I realized it wasn't my thing. I now have an understanding on how gripping it is considering I've been doing it off and on the last month or so and am luckily not addicted to it. I still was getting the dizzy/sick feeling associated with it and realized it wasn't for me.
I'm going to replace this with jogging/walking every morning for a half hour. I will also replace fatty hamburgers and fries with a salad, or a grilled chicken sandwich. When I worked at Pizzicato I ate veggie pizza and chicken caesar salads every day and actually was in pretty good shape from tossing dough and running around all day. Now I'm in tech I'm ballooning out a bit from sitting on my arse all day. I've even noticed some shirts not buttoning like they used to. It's definitely not too late and I'm ready for a change for the better rather than for the worse.
I truly have sympathy for my smoking friends at work, and don't condemn them in any way whatsoever now. They have even been telling me not to start and I understand why now - it isn't enjoyable to me at all anymore.
I think I'll update in here more and this will help me stay focused. God, My wife, great family, and my productive music hobby has really opened my eyes to focus on the positive things in life and realized I need to make a change for the better by cutting coffee/smoking/etc. out, and getting back in shape.
thanks for reading this, and it feels good to say hello to old friends!