Can it get any worse?
im not a person who gets overwhelmed easily. i test myself constantly to see what, or how much i can take personally. but this week is fast fast FAST approaching overwhelming. i dont even fucking know where to start, for fear of how public a domain this is and not knowing who even reads this thing besides me. i guess just know that i havnt felt the need to cry, actually just lay down with your face in the pillow and cry your damn ass off kinda cry, ever...and thats a hard feeling to swallow. to not be understood by people, to be misunderstood by others, and to be hated...what else could i want? oh, yes. how about a bank that is fucking you over and to not even know if the bills you paid are going to be covered because they decided to put a hold on your loan check when they said that it will be deposited as cash. how about the fact that they are now saying "oh, its only on direct deposit that its counted as cash" NO FUCKING SHIT BITCH! direct deposit works that way because funds are available right away, but the fact remains that im now being charged $120 for each check i wrote that is not being covered by my bank because they have a hold on my loan check. so all those bills that i paid upfront the other day...who knows if they will clear. who knows if i will even have money left over because im now being charged $120 x 5 and im fucked unless they take those back. i think im just going to sleep all weekend because at least i have some semblance of control over my dreams. if they are bad, i can at least wake up and fall back to sleep into something different. i feel like a fucking crybaby.