Personal Canon: Bandom and Greek

[elucreh]

Okay, so I did the "personal canon" meme, and wanted to round up my responses. Since apparently I am never going to actually FINISH any of the ten million fics I am writing. Ever. Here is pseudo-fic to tide you over

Comments

[allegedlykyle]

Hey! Popped by while looking at your primer about Mormonism, and then I read this, and it has this ring of, well, not truth, exactly, but I really, really like the three-dimension way in which you perceive all these characters and their fears and depths. All the littlest things that make them who they are in (your) fic, and basically, you articulated the twists and abyss in their characters that make them so interesting as people and !

Ryan, on the other hand, had his special snowflake status confirmed by a platinum record.

I've never seen this side of Ryan before (or, more accurately, I've never wanted to see it because I like seeing Ryan as his special snowflake thing - sorry, that sounded a little weird /: ) but it's definitely a fascinating angle to explore, as are all the other aspects of your personal fandom. Thank you for giving me a new perspective (reference unintended!) on these bandom characters :D

[elucreh]

I think the snowflake thing has its upsides and downsides, you know? It means in some ways he never grew up, and in some ways he was validated in ways he never had been before and that he needed, and in some ways it probably made him feel like what's valuable about himself is the parts that are broken. I'm really interested to see how he does with starting over as a small-time band...although in a lot of ways he'll never lose that reputation.

Hah, sorry, rambling. Thanks for letting me know you enjoyed it!

[allegedlykyle]

in some ways it probably made him feel like what's valuable about himself is the parts that are broken.

Hearing this kind of makes me want to hug! Ryan, but that misses the point, completely (or rather, reinforces? it) This is something I've always wondered, though: Ryan's childhood, how bad was it? I'm not trying to discount the impact of his dad's alcoholism and his mom's departure, but did it completely break him? I think this is a part that's highly stylized in bandom - it becomes the unshakable foundation on which Ryan is developed as a character, something that's taken for granted, somehow.

I would like to see what TYV does, too! I read someplace in LJ that it's possible Ryan could be tired of his spot in the limelight, and just wants to retreat a little, be able to play to small groups of fans and talk to them about music, make it a little personal. Although if his band becomes famous too ... that'll be ironic.

[elucreh]

No, I mean, yes, yeah, that, but--Fever's about being broken, mostly. Is my point. Fever and the press after Fever were about being full of angst and self-doubt and rage against the world, and those things sold, those things raised him up and got him fame and money and the things he'd dreamed of. If I were him, I'd be a little scared to grow up and remember the good things and the valid part of my childhood and reach for happiness because what if nobody wanted that part of me? You know? People clearly wanted the arrogant, angry, hurt parts, but those are never what make up the whole person...but wouldn't you feel pressured to stay as those parts of you?

[allegedlykyle]

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound - my comment wasn't directed at you /0\ I was just thinking about it, and I wanted to ask you because your thoughts showed such clarity (:

Yeah, I agree, entirely - and well, I'm part of the masses who adored Fever and its emotion, so - in a sense I have contributed to Ryan's ): ): Would you say Pretty. Odd. was a counterpoint to that, then (except well, the response to that album was more mixed, wasn't it?) and - in that light, I would suppose Panic's journey as Ryan's band had ended with those two albums, the two issues thrashed out, and that's how he felt okay, even compelled, to leave?

This is going to influence my perception of Ryan's persona a lot, jsyk :D Thank you!

[elucreh]

LOL, didn't mean to come off defensive either, so we're even. I just get passionate on the subjects of Ryan And Brendon And How They Are And Also Probably Aren't Screwed Up. (You should be grateful you didn't start me off on Brendon, really. Brendon and sex and girls are a topic I go off on for days.)

I do think Pretty was counterpoint to that, an effort to reach beyond it, and I think the mixed reception it got was--well, okay, I don't really know a lot about music as music, but from the reviews I've read etc. I think a large part of that mixed reception was that people were expecting something so entirely different from him, and I think that touring with Pretty--particularly the RBL tour, because of a few things some fellow Zackgirls and I put together in the course of our M&G comparisons--sort of drove home the point that he was never going to shake having to be the Fever-Ryan, that what he could do with the other parts of himself weren't going to measure up to that in the eyes and minds of the public, and I think--in a way I

[allegedlykyle]

Feel free to go off on a tangent about Brendon :D In fact, here, direct question: What do you think about Brendon

[elucreh]

Well, speaking strictly lyrically, I will cling to Folkin' Around as my emo song for the rest of my natural-born days; I don't actually like the album version much because of the damn fiddles but I have three different live versions in my collection and when he performed it on HCT I was dripping tears. The LDS references are so obvious to me and it's such a brave song about finding your self and your own faith and just...seriously, every time my bigoted oldest brother makes a crack about gay people or my father reminds me that God loves me and as proof of that I will someday find a nice man and have lots of children, I go lock myself up and play the Glastonbury version over and over and over again until I can breathe, despite the fact that I am 24 and really too old for that kind of thing

[allegedlykyle]

I don't think you're ever too old for that ♥

Folkin' Around (and Northern Downpour and She Had The World!) all make me stop whatever I'm doing at the moment to catch my breath a bit and just listen, but before you mentioned it (and your primer on LDS), I've never actually seen all the references to that part of his life, so thank you again for bringing that to my notice, since it's pretty significant, considering it's one of the first few (?) songs Brendon wrote in Panic.

I am now off to watch your fic journal! \0/ Would friend, but not sure what your policy on that is, so.

[elucreh]

I would be delighted to have you! Might I be permitted to friend you back?

[allegedlykyle]

I will be enthused \0/ Hi, friend!