Title: Step Down
Author:
elucrehPairing: Implied Panic Bandsome
Rated: PG-13
Summary: Cassie watches them dance in the writhing crowd, absently rolling her shoulders against Jon's fingertips, and doesn't know whether she envies her friends or not.
Notes: The "Girlfriends" section of the
Ill-Kept Secret 'Verse. Patently untrue: no man updating his blog with "i have a girl who makes me smile like its christmas" could be more in love. (And Cassie, omg, PLEASE don't google yourself.) Thanks to
danacias, who did an awesome beta job and clarified my pronouns. For
vic_ramsey, who helped me through my spelling-Haley crisis. It should be noted that this story owes its existence to
arsenicjade's
What She Said, because it made me want to write Cassie's side of a GSF-motivated breakup.
Haley raises her glass and grins at Spencer. "To true love!"
"TRUE LOVE!!" the table echoes, and they clink their shot glasses together before tossing the tequila down.
Cassie makes her tequila face, and Jon laughs at her, leans over and bumps her nose with his, the alcohol sharp on his breath. "Too much for you, pretty girl?"
She sticks out her tongue, and he grins at her, teeth flashing white against his beard. She smiles back.
The other girls coax Ryan and Spencer out to the dance floor, but Cassie shakes her head when Jon looks the question at her, reaches for her beer instead. Brendon flashes her a smile and slides out of the booth, too, heads for the bar.
She leans her chin against her hand, elbow on the table, and watches Spencer and Haley moving around each other, Spencer not precisely graceful but sure and steadily on-beat in the whirl of the club, Haley's bangle flickering over her wrist. Ryan and Keltie are nearby; Keltie's throwing herself into it, her strength and skill a contrast to Ryan's self-consciously vague wiggling. In some ways they make the oddest Odd Couple, but as Cassie watches them together, Keltie's sharp performance softens into something realer and less public, and Ryan grows easier in himself, his body loosening until it almost fits the music. Neither of them have many people who can make them forget the world is there and might be watching; it's enough to keep them important to each other.
Jon's hand slides up her arm, and he rubs the knots that have begun growing in her neck. Of course he sensed that she was tensing, even if he didn't know why. Of course, because he knows her so very well, well enough to move from the top knob of her spine to the fifth vertebra down without wasting time in between, where her muscles never cramp. Of course he knows her that well. Of course.
Cassie watches them dance in the writhing crowd, absently rolling her shoulders against Jon's fingertips, and doesn't know whether she envies her friends or not.
When Haley and Keltie fell in love, they had to fit themselves into the corners of their boys' time/attention/love/space that weren't taken up with the band, music, Brendon, music, Jon, music, the Best Friend, music, the band, touring, music, and the band. All they gave up were scraps.
Cassie, on the other hand, had years, wonderful years, when Jon was kind of purposeless and full of unrealised potential, when he loved music but went from one band to the next without much thinking about it. Cassie got to feel what it was like to know, deep down in her bones, that the most important things in Jon's life were his camera and Cassie, and he only took one of them to bed. (Except, of course, on certain special occasions, and she smiles a little to herself and brushes her fingertips against the silk-draped spot on her ribcage where experimenting with an ancient flashbulb left its round white scar.)
Cassie got prom and dorm sex and stupid college parties spent making out in a corner. Cassie got to text her boyfriend at two in the morning and know he'd be there in ten minutes, even if he was cranky about it.
Cassie had to watch it all get crowded out, too.
The song fades out to something that makes Jon snort and Ryan and Spencer grimace at each other, and as they scoot back into the booth Brendon reappears from wherever he went to, poking Cassie in the shoulder until she scrunches up her nose at him and makes room, smiling. He pats her elbow for a thank-you and says to Ryan, "Dude, what is this they're playing? You're a better DJ."
"Shut up," Ryan says easily, and Cassie guesses from Brendon's jump that he's been kicked under the table. Keltie rolls her eyes.
"Although," Jon interjects, "did you catch that cover two songs back?"
"With that weird--" Spencer air-drums something, and Brendon's nodding, echoing Spencer's movements half a beat behind, frowning a little as he thinks about it.
"Yeah." Jon leans into Ryan's space, face eager and excited, and his hand drops from Cassie's back. "I was thinking, for the feather duster song--"
Ryan bites his lip, considers it. "I'm not sure--"
"But, like, slower? And with a little more snare at the--"
Cassie locks eyes with Haley and they share a smile. It's the work of a moment to squirm into Brendon's lap ("Hey, uh--") and out onto the floor, catching herself on Haley's shoulder as she stands. It takes Keltie a little longer to cross Spencer's lap.
"We're gonna go freshen up." Haley smirks at them. "You have fun with your paradiddles and chord changes."
Keltie blows Ryan a kiss and they all link arms to head for the restroom, Haley's bag thumping solidarity against Cassie's hip. Keltie starts telling them about this camel, no really, camel, in the show she's doing next month, which somehow leads them to Haley's mythology professor who is totally out to get her, and Cassie jumps in with the project her adviser wants her to think about for her resume, which gets them through checking lipstick and refastening earrings.
When they get out, the guys are waiting for them, standing in a somewhat sheepish row like schoolboys waiting to be scolded, and Cassie rolls her eyes. "Inspiration?"
Jon gives her the eyes, and she turns to raise an amused eyebrow at Haley. "Should we let them off?"
Haley tilts her head to one side, considering. "They have to leave us one of the really shiny black cards, and no bitching when I order one of those Moon Mountain things and hate the taste." She gives Ryan a pointed look, and he alters his brainwaves so that he comes across as sardonic when he lifts the card out of his wallet. Cassie still wants to know how he does that.
"You're getting off easy," she tells Jon, chiding gently. They're still friends. He's supposed to be there to see her.
"I know." At least he looks apologetic, even if it drops off pretty quickly as they say their good-byes and walk off, still sunk deep in discussion. They'll probably wake up with guitar-string creases across their faces again, and another hit single for the studio under their belts.
Haley wraps an arm around Cassie's waist and leans her head on her shoulder. "You know, that can't be healthy. They spend way too much time together."
Keltie laughs, and comes to cuddle on Haley's other side. "Dr. Phil was saying just today how important it is to have a life outside your lover."
Cassie can't help it; she cracks up. "What does Dr. Phil know about it?" Because, whatever else--Jon's happy now; happy like he never could have been with just Cassie and a camera. He's got somewhere to go, now, and people to go with.
"C'mon," she says, tugging on Haley's hand, still grinning. "The drinks are on Ryan, and the night is young. Let's dance."