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[ltxobvious]

Has anyone seen the final scene of Burn After Reading? There's a line that goes something like "Jesus, what a clusterfuck. What have we learned? I guess we learned not to do it again. Fucked if I know what it was we did, but we sure won't do it again." Kind of sums up the current state of my marriage.

Comments

[ltxobvious]

Good points, all. That's almost exactly what I'm thinking now. I agree that shes almost entirely full of shit and just saying she never loved me because it will make it easier for her to deal with if she convinces herself of it. But you're exactly right. Even if she is lying, the fact that she'd say things like this paints of a picture of her character that I don't like. So even if she is just bullshitting me and herself, this doesn't seem like the kind of girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm almost positive that when I'm physically there with her she'll realize how wrong she is, but chances are slim that I'm going to allow her to just pretend this never happened. I fully understand freaking out because we got married so fast and so young, but there's no excuse for the things she's said to me. Even with Brittany, no matter how badly I wanted out I was never cruel about it, and I would never try to claim that I never cared about her, because it would hurt her deeply even though we both would know it was a lie.

I'm going to be absolutely fine. My stress management now consists of throwing myself fully into my job, and spending my off time working out and reading to better my mind and body, and hanging out with my friends. If I stay busy enough, I don't have the time to dwell and depress myself. Far better than my old habits (drinking heavily and doing something dangerous and stupid), although I did go off-roading with my friend and as we were driving down a mountain pulled myself completely out of his car and sat in the windowframe. Probably some of the most fun I've had since I got here, even if my other friend did get his enormous truck stuck in mud and we had to call a tow company to get him out.