Hodge Podge Thoughts From the Past... Month or So
Oh my goodness. I have had 20 thousand thoughts flying through my head lately, and I finally have a chance to sit and write them down. I anticipate that this post is going to probably skip around a lot and be really random, so I apoligize in advance for that.
Let's start with something that I'm kind of excited about. I realize that I'm completely obsessed, but I've been thinking about starting a separate blog to post my many thoughts on Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. I have so much to say about each chapter and I know how much my friends get sick of me talking about it, so I was thinking that when I re-read the books before Breaking Dawn comes out, I'd do a chapter-by-chapter of my thoughts. It would be kind of a compliation of favorite parts/quotes, thoughts on character actions, and maybe even a bit of mild fanfiction because there are some parts where I'd love to take the place of a character and do it MY way. haha. Anyway, if that happens, I'll post the new username here. I probably would have one already but I haven't thought of anything sufficiently clever yet :)
Next. This goes back to I think winter break. I know. Loooong time. But many times it takes me a while to collect my thoughts and get the correct words to express myself with. The event that started this was when I was shopping with my two very, very good friends. We were at the mall and I wanted to go into Hot Topic 'cause I'm pretty much in love with that store. I should say first, for those that are unaware, that I am a very safe dresser. I don't like to stand out in a crowd. I go to Hot Topic for their sweet band and movie tees, but for those that don't know, it's a kind of "trendy gothic" store (that's how my friend that also shops there described it, anyway. I'm bad at labeling things... which I guess is a good thing...). Anyway, we were in there and they were just following me around, not wanting to be there, and I'm looking at shirts on the clearance rack (I have a clearance obsession. I'll buy anything if it's on clearance. haha). And they are standing behind me, and one goes "I am so uncomfortable in here" and then turns to her side and sees that there is a girl next to her that was kind of the imbodiment of Hot Topic, and they noticed her and just broke out laughing. The thing is, they always complain about going in there, and make fun of people like that and it drives me up the wall.
Why? Well, to start with the obvious, it's judging people without knowing them, which, although guilty of it at times myself, is one of my pet peeves. But the real reason that it makes me so mad, is that I really admire anyone that has the courage to be different. I very rarely step out of my comfort zone. As I said, I dress to go unnoticed. I just really think it's got to take a lot to go out everyday and break social norms like that. Not to mention endure the critisms of people like those two friends of mine. Especially when we are talking about something as obvious as your fashion choices. You can't hide those. If it's just that you like a certain book or movie, well, you can always avoid that topic. But you can't hide how you dress. The people that dress and look different go out everyday into a world that is constantly judging them and say "this is who I am, deal with it."
Speaking of courage, this has been a recent thought, but was really a realization that I made... well as soon as my personality developed I think. I'm a hard-core movie fanatic. And certainly a literature nut. And, of course, a music lover. Oh, and I'm TV obsessed too. But there is one reason behind all these interests and it comes right back to admiring courage. In my mind, these things are all works of art. It's someone using their creative talents in whatever form they can, to express themselves to the world. I think that takes a great deal of courage. There's a part in Anna Nalick's 2 am that goes "And I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd/Cause these words are my diary, screaming out load/And I know that you'll use them however you want to." That kind of shows my point. As a public, we can take what they say and love it or hate it, but they had the courage to put those private thoughts and ideas into something and give it to us for our criticism. I think that there's a line somewhere where it starts to be about the money rather than the expression, but I won't get into my strong opinions about that here. Let's just say I've had some pretty emotional rants about the merits of director's cuts versus the actual release... I'm really lucky that my friends accept my excentricities...
And while we're on that topic, I'm trying this thing where I'm a lot more open with my obsessions. Like, I'm a total Harry Potter nerd. And I'm sure you can tell by the first thing I talked about that I'm a Twi-hard as well. But for a long time, I was very closeted about my Love of HP. I talked about it only with the people that I knew were into it as well. When I got into Twilight however, I shared it with friends, but they weren't as into it as I am, and even made me feel kind dumb for liking it so much. This is what started my new openness. I got sick of being ashamed for the things that I was into. So, instead, I admit to them. It's kinda like overcompensating. Like, they say that the people that act overly confident, aren't at all. Well, I'm taking advantage of this technique... So far, so good.
Wow, those all connected pretty well. Now, to switch to a completely different topic.
Work last night was hell. Everyone was in the worst moods I have ever seen. We were all at each other's throats the whole night. Dan and Dave were getting into it, Dan and I got into it, I even snapped at Chad which I'd never do normally 'cause he's so harmless. Even Scott, the owner, was a little more gruff than usual. But Josh, one of the manager's was the worst. He was yelling at everyone and it got to the point where Tyler, the other manager quit. Which makes me so mad. I hate that this one night culminated in someone quitting. Especially Tyler, who's like this constant ball of positive energy, and possibly the only person there that's truely nice to me. It's difficult to explain just how bad it was, but I seriously wanted to scream when I got out of there. I'd love to just put the night in the record books as the worst night in history and then never think of it again, but that's not going to be possible 'cause it will now be the night that Tyler quit. Grrr.
And the weirdest thing was that half-way through the night, Josh makes a complete turn-around. I'm not sure if someone said something or what, but it took me completely off guard. He was like, saying "please" and stuff. And God help me, all he had to do was smile and I didn't really care that he'd been a jerk all night. I hate that. Guys should not be in possession of smiles like that. That's my cue to end this topic here.
So I had more to write about, however, it's 3 am.
And an idea just occured to me, because the other thing I had to write about was a movie thing. Maybe my other blog will not be a strictly Twilight blog, but rather an entertainment one where I can comment on all the movies/music/books/tv things that I have overly active thoughts about... hmmmm. I bet that would probably be more interesting to people. I love how I act like there is a population of people who care what I have to say... haha. I've actually been toying with the idea of starting a YouTube blog, or "vlog" as they say. But I'm really not sure if I'm that interesting. I know I have many many opinions to express though. It's like this journal, I know that probably two people actually read it, but I do it more for me, to get this stuff out of my system, then anything else. Though, I do really appreciate hearing other people's thoughts on it all.
Anyway, 3 am. Must stop this incessant writing....