Dear Morgan
Dear Morgan,
I sit here on my air mattress thinking a lot about life and everything. For a decade you've always been by my side and have been my partner in crime. Over the past two years you and I have drifted apart. Well, you decided it was time to move on from me and I wasn't willing to let you go. You and I have been a constant presence in each others lives nearly every day for the past 7 years. I thought I was ready to do this. I thought I was willing to "let it go" "let it go" "can't hold it back anymore." I've slept, I've cried, I've tried to physically harm myself and had it not been for Lauren I would have succeeded. It's so hard to say goodbye to what we had. You're with Jessica now as her girlfriend and I need you to be strong. I can't be in Florida living my life fully if I keep wanting to come h0me and crawl into bed with you and snuggle with you and be an everyday factor in your life. I'll always be your best friend forever. It just hurts a lot right now seeing you with someone else knowing its...... its...... not me. I couldn't even have sex with you or get you off. She accomplished something I wanted my whole life in the matter of a few weeks. They say you don't really know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Unfortunately for you, you have never known that feeling. Never known what it's like to lose and to be hurt all the time by the people who you care about most because it's never happened to you. Every time someone tells me that they don't want me a part of their life in that special way it makes me feel like I will never be whole again. Like my life has no meaning. No purpose. As I sit here now I reflect on my life and my 30's and I think it's time Morgan. It's time to say goodbye and goodnight. I don't know what the future holds for either of us but right now I know I have to go away. You and Jessica deserve to live a happy life without me always wanting to be a part of it. There is always gonna be that part of me that will never give you up and you don't deserve to be conflicted all the time. I thought moving away would make me get over the hurt you've caused over the years but it made me want to be with you more. I'm not going away for good, besides I'm still seeing you in November and December, just taking some time to figure out who I am and how I can make myself whole again. I'll love you till the day I die Morgan. Always will. Tell Spot I'll always love him too.
Love always and forever,
Your Mr. Handsome Jeffrey Scott Ornstein