(no subject)
it's amazing how easily your world can get dashed apart.
when you're finally starting to gain some self esteem, something happens to rub in the face what a douchebag you've been.
and yeah, i've seen so many people do so many things worse, but it doesnt make Me any better of a person that they're bigger fuck ups. i finally owned up to it at least. something i wanted to do so long ago, but was too scared to do so. and when i owned up to it, i knew what was going to happen, and it hurts me really bad. but i knew it would, and i did it anyway because it wasnt fair not to.
so i guess that part is a trade off. i decided a few months ago that i dont want to lie to people about things anymore. of course it's going to get me into more trouble, but at least i wont have a guilty conscience. i'm not going to do things that require that trouble if possible.
at least bad things happening and bad decisions might make a good life lesson.
and here's another new life lesson- boyfriends dont like it when you come home drunk, even if you wanted them to come hang out with you and they said no. so now i'm sitting at home, drinking by myself. here's to failure.
when you're finally starting to gain some self esteem, something happens to rub in the face what a douchebag you've been.
and yeah, i've seen so many people do so many things worse, but it doesnt make Me any better of a person that they're bigger fuck ups. i finally owned up to it at least. something i wanted to do so long ago, but was too scared to do so. and when i owned up to it, i knew what was going to happen, and it hurts me really bad. but i knew it would, and i did it anyway because it wasnt fair not to.
so i guess that part is a trade off. i decided a few months ago that i dont want to lie to people about things anymore. of course it's going to get me into more trouble, but at least i wont have a guilty conscience. i'm not going to do things that require that trouble if possible.
at least bad things happening and bad decisions might make a good life lesson.
and here's another new life lesson- boyfriends dont like it when you come home drunk, even if you wanted them to come hang out with you and they said no. so now i'm sitting at home, drinking by myself. here's to failure.