Dear Diary....
August 12: Moved to our new home in Iowa. It is so beautiful here. The grasslands
and hills are so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see the with snow
covering them. God's Country....I love it here.
October 14: Iowa is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all
different colors. I love the shades of red, yellow, and orange. Went for a ride
through some beautiful river bottoms and spotted some deer. They are s so
graceful, certainly they are the most peaceful animal on earth. This must be
paradise...I love it here.
November 11: Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill
such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will
snow soon... I love it here.
December 2: It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white
It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps an
shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the plow came by
we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place, Mother Nature in
perfect harmony... I love Iowa.
December 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again
(that rascal). A winter wonderland...I love it here.
December 19: More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to
work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snowplow.
December 22: More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my
hand from shoveling. I think the snowplow man hides around the corner and waits
unti I'm done shoveling this driveway. Asshole! The deer are eating the shrubs in
th yard.
December 25: "White Christmas" my ass! More friggen snow. If I ever get my hand
on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate the dumb
bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the fuckin
ice.
December 28: More white shit last night. Been inside since Christmas Day except
for shoveling the driveway after "snowplow Harry" comes every time. Can't go
anywhere car's buried in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says expect
another 10" of the shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10"
is? The deer have all the shrubs eaten and are starting on the trees. The poor
things.
Januarv 1: Happy Fucking New Year, the weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of th
white shit this time. At this rate it won't melt till the 4th of July. The
snowplow got stuck up the road, and shithead had the balls to come to the door
and ask to borrow my shovel. After I told him I've broken 6 shovels already,
shoveling all th shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his
fucking head.
Januarv 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and
on the way back a God Damn deer ran in front of the car and, I hit the bastard.
Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish
the hunters had killed them all last November.
May 3: Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rotting
out from all the fucking salt they keep dumping all over the road? Car looks lik
a piece of shit!
May 10: Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right friggen mind
would ever want to live in God-forsaken Iowa.
and hills are so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see the with snow
covering them. God's Country....I love it here.
October 14: Iowa is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all
different colors. I love the shades of red, yellow, and orange. Went for a ride
through some beautiful river bottoms and spotted some deer. They are s so
graceful, certainly they are the most peaceful animal on earth. This must be
paradise...I love it here.
November 11: Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill
such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will
snow soon... I love it here.
December 2: It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white
It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps an
shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the plow came by
we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place, Mother Nature in
perfect harmony... I love Iowa.
December 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again
(that rascal). A winter wonderland...I love it here.
December 19: More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to
work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snowplow.
December 22: More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my
hand from shoveling. I think the snowplow man hides around the corner and waits
unti I'm done shoveling this driveway. Asshole! The deer are eating the shrubs in
th yard.
December 25: "White Christmas" my ass! More friggen snow. If I ever get my hand
on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate the dumb
bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the fuckin
ice.
December 28: More white shit last night. Been inside since Christmas Day except
for shoveling the driveway after "snowplow Harry" comes every time. Can't go
anywhere car's buried in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says expect
another 10" of the shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10"
is? The deer have all the shrubs eaten and are starting on the trees. The poor
things.
Januarv 1: Happy Fucking New Year, the weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of th
white shit this time. At this rate it won't melt till the 4th of July. The
snowplow got stuck up the road, and shithead had the balls to come to the door
and ask to borrow my shovel. After I told him I've broken 6 shovels already,
shoveling all th shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his
fucking head.
Januarv 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and
on the way back a God Damn deer ran in front of the car and, I hit the bastard.
Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish
the hunters had killed them all last November.
May 3: Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rotting
out from all the fucking salt they keep dumping all over the road? Car looks lik
a piece of shit!
May 10: Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right friggen mind
would ever want to live in God-forsaken Iowa.