TW: How to Keep Your Welshman Satisfied [M]

[lt_indigo]

Fandom:
Torchwood

Title:
How to Keep Your Welshman Satisfied

In which Gwen propositions Jack and Ianto, Jack does something stupid and Tosh looks after her boys.

Author:
lt_indigo

Pairing(s):
Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys (mentioned)

Warning(s):
M. A bit of Gwen-bashing

Disclamer:
If I owned this, not only

Comments

[badly_knitted]

I wonder what I'd have to offer Tosh to get a copy of that compilation...

Bless Tosh for always being so thoughtful towards her boys. She looks after them in her own way.

Ianto makes a good point - all men like different things, what's mind-blowing for one could be a complete turn-off for someone else. Jack should maybe just explain a few techniques to her, let her practice on a banana or a more realistically shaped sex toy, then send her to try out what she's learned on Rhys. Asking Rhys would also be a good idea, but I doubt Gwen has ever thought of doing that.

[lt_indigo]

I did think about including a suggestion about a dildo, but Ianto refused point-blank.

I see Tosh as their matchmaker - she sits in the background, nudging Jack in the right direction and doing little things to keep Gwen and Owen off their backs. Since Owen is so useless, she lives vicariously though her boys.

[badly_knitted]

As do I. C'mon, Tosh, share the goodies!

(Ianto can be a little bit stubborn about certain things. I guess he didn't want to encourage Jack too much.)

[lt_indigo]

She shared once, and look what happened :D

[badly_knitted]

Good point! That'll teach her not to share things with Gwen!

[lt_indigo]

I have just, while innocently googling something else, found this image. It is not helping. Me, anyway: it's sending the bunnies mad!

http://i.dlisted.com/files/barrowmanbanana.jpg

[badly_knitted]

*g* Jack does love a good banana - they're so versatile, you can do lots of things with them and then you can eat them!

[lt_indigo]

GAH! BUNNIES! I needz to plan lessonz for rest of week before lab techs have my hide (again)

[badly_knitted]

Ooops?

I seem to be shedding plot bunnies all over the place, sorry!

[lt_indigo]

I am unconvinced by this contrition ;)

[badly_knitted]

Well, I can't be TOO sorry, I'm enjoying the results too much for that!

[lt_indigo]

Kind of like when I say I blame you, I am really extremely grateful for the bunnies that multiply in my head.

[badly_knitted]

My brain has been a Fluff factory for a long time, but now it seems to be producing fully formed bunnies too - must have had an upgrade without me noticing!

I wonder if plot-bunnies are sort of like potatoes - you plant a seed bunny and then dig up a whole crop of them later...

I have a weird brain, you may have noticed, lol!

[lt_indigo]

Maybe they're not bunnies, but tribbles with ears? Born pregnant.

[badly_knitted]

Oooooh, scary thought! They'll multiply until we're buried by them! Either that or our heads will explode from too many bunnies!

[lt_indigo]

They'll run out of brain eventually and starve to death!