the emotional maturity of a 14 year old...
I always keep myself preoccupied bouncing between new fleeting interests and desires, perpetually in search of new challenges to conquer. Unfortunately, it is merely just an excuse to neglect the most challenging, and important, one of all.
Relationships.
Friends, family, significant others.... everyone.
Honestly, I can really only run so far....
The productive procrastination can be beneficial, yes, but at what cost?
Quite honestly, I believe that the whole reason I insisted on walking around everywhere barefoot the other day was mostly just to FEEL something. Really though, it is likely that this wasn't my unconscious reasoning; however, just the thought that I would even analyze it is such is just as telling as whatever real reason it might have been. Gotta love psychology and introspection, eh? Then again, the fact that I have THAT much free time for introspection is really just as indicative of what is wrong this month.
And you know what the truly SAD part is? That I will wake up tomorrow, and everything will be OK and back to normal. Life will go on, and I will continue to chase after the interest du jour. That's ALWAYS what happens. I get angsty, watch a movie, reflect in some LJ entry, then..... go to bed and forget all about it ignore it. If only I had a button that would replay my feelings and thoughts from the night before. Even then though, would I actually do something about it?
WOW, that entry got really sour rather quickly.. Anyways, time for bed.
Relationships.
Friends, family, significant others.... everyone.
Honestly, I can really only run so far....
The productive procrastination can be beneficial, yes, but at what cost?
Quite honestly, I believe that the whole reason I insisted on walking around everywhere barefoot the other day was mostly just to FEEL something. Really though, it is likely that this wasn't my unconscious reasoning; however, just the thought that I would even analyze it is such is just as telling as whatever real reason it might have been. Gotta love psychology and introspection, eh? Then again, the fact that I have THAT much free time for introspection is really just as indicative of what is wrong this month.
And you know what the truly SAD part is? That I will wake up tomorrow, and everything will be OK and back to normal. Life will go on, and I will continue to chase after the interest du jour. That's ALWAYS what happens. I get angsty, watch a movie, reflect in some LJ entry, then..... go to bed and forget all about it ignore it. If only I had a button that would replay my feelings and thoughts from the night before. Even then though, would I actually do something about it?
WOW, that entry got really sour rather quickly.. Anyways, time for bed.