(no subject)
This new boy likes hip hop music, dresses like he likes hiphop and is 27.
Everything has been pretty good for the most part, minus a few little fglitches here and there. Well its been about 3 months now, and I think I've reached my breaking point.
I either want to break up, so that way I don't get too attached, and breaking up now would be easy. Or a mild agreement that me and him will be "chilllin" for a little while longer.
When I expressed my feeling about how once school comes I like to party, all he could say is that "we would see what happens."
I don't think I want to see what happens. I just want to know. I even think I would be willing to calm down on my partying to spend more time with him. However, last night, just like every night, he got high.
And quite possibily this could be a deal breaker. I don't really mind that he gets high, but I don't anymore, and to just sit around while other people just get high, and act all high, not really my cup of tea.
So I wasn't really in a good mood when we went upstairs, and I kept bugging him to stay awake, and he made some comment how maybe if I touched him he'd stay awake. Because apparently if me and him are in bed together we have to have sex. And maybe he wouldn't have said that IF HE WASN'T HIGH.
So I left without even a kiss goodbye. Even if he did care or wanted to fix things, it would ruin his high. He can't care when he's high, and I know that. That's what pot does to you, it chills you out A LOT.
So now he probably thinks I am so moody chick, but frankly I don't care.
I'm torn between pushing him away or bringing him in closer. And with more nights like last night, I might be leaning towards pushing him away.
It may not be healthy, but at least that way I can't get hurt.
Everything has been pretty good for the most part, minus a few little fglitches here and there. Well its been about 3 months now, and I think I've reached my breaking point.
I either want to break up, so that way I don't get too attached, and breaking up now would be easy. Or a mild agreement that me and him will be "chilllin" for a little while longer.
When I expressed my feeling about how once school comes I like to party, all he could say is that "we would see what happens."
I don't think I want to see what happens. I just want to know. I even think I would be willing to calm down on my partying to spend more time with him. However, last night, just like every night, he got high.
And quite possibily this could be a deal breaker. I don't really mind that he gets high, but I don't anymore, and to just sit around while other people just get high, and act all high, not really my cup of tea.
So I wasn't really in a good mood when we went upstairs, and I kept bugging him to stay awake, and he made some comment how maybe if I touched him he'd stay awake. Because apparently if me and him are in bed together we have to have sex. And maybe he wouldn't have said that IF HE WASN'T HIGH.
So I left without even a kiss goodbye. Even if he did care or wanted to fix things, it would ruin his high. He can't care when he's high, and I know that. That's what pot does to you, it chills you out A LOT.
So now he probably thinks I am so moody chick, but frankly I don't care.
I'm torn between pushing him away or bringing him in closer. And with more nights like last night, I might be leaning towards pushing him away.
It may not be healthy, but at least that way I can't get hurt.