chromatic fugue in D minor

[lsm]

haunted by pathetic dreams
of distant weddings
(not my own);
visions of small cakes
and finely cut bread...
hors devours on the casket table
of a wedding.
i imagine, thousands of years back;
removing that veil
i saw my face
and my hand in yours

why, four years later,
you still make me cry like a child
is something inexplicable.
when we made those whispered promises
of forever
we meant every word.
but like your fleeting nature,
they were lost
over several years of mistakes
and folly.

can i, with sincerity, say
that i wish you a fulfilling life?
i just don't know.
no one has ever
let me cultivate this rage and pain
and these feelings like you.
and perhaps that's why i loved you so much;
because you made me feel more than anyone.
but losing you
ripped through the fabric of my identity
and forced me to rebuild.
more than anything
i wish i could say
"i'm over you"
and mean it as much as we meant those promises
of forever.