Just Another Angsty Maternal Post
At a loss of what to do.
MAYBE it's all just a misunderstanding. But it's impossible (for me) to tell.
When I first brought Jesse around, it was a quick run to pick up shirts, but we all had about an hour all told to say hellos and make impressions. Dad seemed to like him just fine. The brothers agree that he's cool and has good shirt ideas. Mom was quiet, but courteous enough.
Brought him back with me of course for this stint, and she made a couple of generic conversations for the first 2-3 visits. Had it out with me the first chance she got while I was making French onion soup for everyone. "Is this going anywhere? Where are you spending the Holidays? Maybe you should each be with your own families." Etc.
I left the room when she got so ugly to talk to dad about nothing and just cool off. I was literally speechless that she'd just shut him out without even giving him a chance. Came back in the kitchen to check on the soup and she immediately apologised and said she just didn't want me to get hurt. So I said how good he is with Dorian and how I've never had someone good to me and faithful. She said she'd noticed him interacting with Boy and agreed he's a better dad.
Then the next day, she didn't speak to him, greet him or anything. It was a busy day and we all had things going on so I didn't think too much of it, but then the next time we went by, she didn't acknowledge him *again*.
And she's been cool toward me too, except when work is concerned. Got all kinds of excited over how well Daishocon went.
The other day, Dorian was offering me one of his cuddles to take to the next convention and I declined. He went on about how I'm Jesse's cuddle and mom said, "well, that's not good." Dorian argued that it is good, and she at least had the grace to say "you'll understand when you're older" and left it there, but REALLY?
So I'm at a loss. Tonight was the extended family Thanksgiving get together, and she gave me a half- hearted greeting and one of those side hugs. Didn't bother to say goodbye when we left. Everyone else was courteous and seems to like Jesse just fine. It's literally just mom being so hateful, although dad's been cooler toward me too, and I don't think he's gone out of his way to converse with Jesse since she started. (This could just be dad, though.
And I have no idea why. Either she was lying about just wanting things to be good for me, or she's just even more judgmental than I imagined she could be.
It's to the point I don't want to leave Dorian with her because who knows what kind of things she's telling him or he's just absorbing from the environment?
I haven't liked letting her take him to their church either, but I've let him go to grease the wheels a bit. That ends now. I'll take him to another congregation myself, but I don't want him around the hateful and misogynistic attitude and teachings in that place. Mom might be happy warming a pew 3 times a week, but it's never been for me.
He's not good at remembering things like conversation when working.
I dunno. I don't know why I want her approval when I've never had it. She's never going to be happy with anything I do.(or Ian, but that's another story). It's just not going to happen, no matter what I do (short of joining her on her pew warming ceremony).
I mean, she can't even let herself be happy that Dorian has a REAL father figure now because of (take your pick of reasons). I don't want to leave him over there with her after all this.
But I also feel like this isn't the right answer because it's a poor attitude on my part. Just because she's acting badly doesn't mean I should.
At a loss entirely. All the people, friends and family who DO accept me and us, and the only one who doesn't, I can't handle.