Think of your own
The weather's turning cold and the nights are getting longer. Normally it's my favorite season, but this year everything seems wrong. I don't see anyone that I used to see this time of year because I'm not at school and I'm not meeting anyone new because I had to postpone New York. I'm grumpy for no reason and my feet haven't been warm all day. I eat too much, sleep too much and complain too much...it's like being in high school all over again as far as all that. Chris just came up this weekend and it was awesome. We had a great time as usual, but now I'm in this funk where I don't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone, and usually I can't stand to be alone. I was really jazzed about New York and now I'm anxious. Chris told me he feels like he lost an opportunity to go with me when I begged him for months to come with me. I want him there, but it's not an option now...at least not until my first semester is done and over with because I've already reserved a spot in a dorm...sort of. It's not really a dorm, but it's through a housing service, so I'm living at the New Yorker Hotel. Yes, that's THE New Yorker for those of you who may have heard of it. It's in a good neighborhood, it's close to everything and I think I'll have fun. I'm still trying to get some money to finalize things and I can't register till November. I really sort of wish I was already gone and that I was back in school. My job isn't challenging and I feel like I get more stupid every day. I just feel like I'm not doing anything with my life. People I know are getting married, having babies, getting real jobs, and I'm just stuck. I don't know what to do with myself most days and when I have to work it's not enough. I get bored easily and so I eat...but luckily I don't think I've gained any weight, I've just sort of stalled where I am. I had hoped to be about 20 pounds thinner than I am by this point, but that obviously didn't happen. I just feel blah, and I'm sorry for bitching, but these days I don't have a lot of "real" people that are willing to listen, I seem to have lost everyone and have no energy to find new people who will at least pretend to care. Talk to everyone later...