:: little bits of my feelings ::
this photo was taken at the step pyramid at Sakkara over our Christmas holiday. by the end of the day, when this was taken, the kids just wanted to play... and so they did! one of g-man's friends asked how they made that huge sand castle! :0)
guess i'm needing to verbalize a little about my feelings. today i'm feeling a bit blue. it's been leading up to this. partly a monthly thing... well, probably mostly, but i always want to blame everything on that. i know it doesn't help.
anywho... feeling a little, ummmm, lost i guess. i haven't made any kind of satisfying art since this summer. wow! seeing that in print makes me realize how long it's been. i question myself as an artist because of this. i mean, if making art is my passion, shouldn't it be more a part of my life? why am i so easily able to put it off? and so the questions come... the doubt sneaks in....
life here is amazing. the sights are actually overwhelming at times because there is so much to see and it's such a "rich" experience. sometimes the sights are heartbreaking to me. we live in a new and somewhat lavish apartment building. probably not entirely lavish by egyptian standards, but for me... somewhat like a palace! anyway, just a few buildings down on the same street is an empty lot. there is a wall around it and a crooked wooden gate in the wall. one day that gate was open just a crack. through that small opening i saw a group of people sitting around a fire. beyond them was a shelter made of old pieces of wood and cardboard. a little boy was outside in the street, barefoot, walking along the side of his father's truck saying goodbye. i asked john if they are squatters. we don't really know for sure. we assume. i was shocked though. here on my very own street such extremes.
this brings me to another conflict. giving... i've been warned by many people. some of those people are jaded and others just realistic. we are to be careful in our giving of money to poor people. there are many poor here. again, the extremes are somewhat shocking. hmmm... probably no more shocking than some of those we see in the states, but so different. back to the warning we've received... if we give, say 5 LE (egyptian pounds) to someone as baksheesh (tip) they have no problem saying "not enough. more." if we are kind, many times instead of being appreciated, more will be expected from us. as much as i would like to go around handing out 5 LE to everyone i see in need (6 LE is equal to about 1 american dollar) i cannot. i will; however, find other ways to help. tomorrow i will be attending a meeting of the Maadi Womens Guild. they sponsor something like 80 charities here in egypt. i know this only skims the top, but at least it's something worthwhile.
i've been wanting to visit this bookstore a few blocks from our house. it's 11:20 am right now so i suppose i should go now. i pick g-man up at 1 so at least i have an hour... i need to take my camera along... maybe i can get a photo of the empty lot down the street for you....