Barefoot, uphill, both ways.
Jesse “Snake” Barrett, so named for the snake tattoo across the knuckles of his right hand, was in a pretty tight spot. He sat in the stolen car, slurping noisily from an oversized fountain drink and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as the rain tapped down on the windshield, trying to figure a way out. He needed money, and he needed it fast, or he was going to be in a world of hurt, as his dear Mom said. Or had said, when she was still talking to Jesse. “What’s it gonna be, Snake?” he asked himself, and tried to imagine what would happen Friday if he didn’t have the cash he owed Monty. Monty didn’t like excuses. Still, Snake was not liking his odds when it came to armed robbery - he hadn’t managed one yet that didn’t go tits up in a hurry. He wished he hadn’t thought about his Mom. Now he couldn’t get her scowling face out of his head. She was no good for anything, especially not money. That well had dried up a long time ago.
Something remarkable and rare happened then: Snake had an idea. His eyes bulged. This was even a good idea. He remembered now that when he was a kid, his Mom had asked for money once, and exactly once. She was a proud woman, Annie Barrett. She went to this old guy - she called him uncle, though she explained that he wasn’t actually her uncle. It was a complicated cousin relationship or some shit. Anyway, this guy was a real genuine rich old fart in a fancy apartment, and she’d brought Jesse along to meet him. He’d been under strict instructions to keep his mouth shut unless Uncle Eli asked him something, not to touch anything, and to try to be good. He’d tried. He must have succeeded reasonably well, because Mom had walked out of there with a promise of cash to help out with whatever crisis had been plaguing her, and dinners at home had actually been something to look forward to for a little while. He could still remember how many mirrors the old guy had on the walls - must’ve been a real vain sucker. Snake grinned. If it worked for his Mom, why not for him? One way or another, Uncle Eli was going to pay up.
It was late when he pulled up in front of the building where Uncle Eli apparently lived now - Snake was feeling a little nervous, looking at the shabby facade. Either his memory of the place was lousy, or the old guy had moved. Either way, it might mean he had less disposable income, and that could be bad. Still, it was worth a shot. He was family, and what was family for? And the lights were on, up on the top floor. With any luck, his new favorite relative was still awake.
~~~
“Yes, but why should I give you a damn cent?”
Things had been going so well. Uncle Eli had recognized him right away and invited him inside. The apartment was almost exactly as Snake remembered it - it sure was nicer on the inside than the outside - and that bolstered his spirits considerably. He turned down the offer of a glass of water - he’d already had enough in the rain, ha ha, thanks - and got right down to business. And after explaining in great detail what hard times had befallen him (mostly in vague terms, though with a few whopping lies thrown in for good measure and sympathy) he’d thought it was all in the bag. Evidently not.
“I just told you.” To Snake’s ears, he still sounded more injured than pissed, which was good. Maybe the old guy was just hard of hearing?
“Yes, yes, you told me quite a lot of things. Maybe some of it was even true. But I’ve heard about your reputation, young man. Your mother still calls me once in a while, and you haven’t exactly been the soul of discretion with your little exploits, now have you, Jesse? So, why should I give you, a perfectly common criminal - and not even a particularly good one at that - a damn cent?” He took a sip of water after his little speech, and that was what really sent Snake over the edge. Here he was, just trying to wet his whistle, because calling his own blood kin all kinds of nasty names was thirsty work.
Snake pulled his piece from the waistband of his jeans and leveled it at Uncle Eli’s head. At his water glass, to be precise. “How about this? Is this good enough reason for you?”
The terrified expression on the old man’s face was exactly what he wanted to see, and soon enough he got what he wanted. Old Eli was smart enough not to keep lots of cash money at his place, but he told Snake exactly where and how to find his stash, hidden away in a building at some stupid boarding school. He was real cooperative after the gun came out. Still, Snake didn’t want him calling the cops - or even worse, his Mom - after he left, so he shot him on the way out. So much for rich old relatives.
~~~
In his windowless study, Eliphas Levi stared into a mirror which somehow reflected the street outside. He saw his young relative slosh through puddles and get back into the vehicle he’d arrived in, fiddle with something under the steering column, and skid off through the rain. He smiled to himself and turned to another mirror, this one apparently reflecting himself, though looking considerably worse for the wear with a gunshot wound in his chest. He breathed on the mirror, fogging it up, and in the living room the body and blood disappeared. So far, so good.
~~~
It took Snake a little while to find the school. The Levi Academy of the Arts was way out in the countryside, a real snooty place, evidently. Reluctantly, he left his gun in the car when he parked it at a little ‘scenic spot’ about a mile from the school. The last thing he needed was to lose his temper and start shooting up a school. He was dumb, but not quite that dumb. Still, he had great directions, and he was sure the old guy had been telling the truth about where he kept his cash: just inside the tall square tower on the hill at the back side of the school. The whole school was surrounded by a tall wall, so he’d have to sneak in through the front gate and try to keep a low profile. For the kind of cash Uncle Eli promised was in the tower, he could do that. For that kind of cash, he could do almost anything.
~~~
Eliphas Levi leaned back in the chair and laced his fingers across his stomach. “Do you understand?” he asked of the cloudy mirror on his desk.
"I understand the instructions, Headmaster, but not the situation. This intruder thinks there's some sort of treasure here?"
"He's a very literal sort. I told him that I put my money in the school, and so that's where he's going."
“Ah. I see. So, the intruder is to have free passage to the Office of the Exchequer. We are not to interfere directly, but instead provide subtle disincentive for continuing on his errand.”
“Precisely. Inform me if he changes his mind and leaves, or if he makes it to the hill.”
~~~
Snake had never seen such lax security, especially at a fancy place like this. The big gate just swung open silently when he touched it. He’d slipped in and started getting the lay of the land right away. It must be amazingly easy to skip classes here, though he had to admit it was kind of a hike to go anywhere. He almost envied the little brats in the classrooms. As he skulked across the grounds, he peeked in a window at some of them.
It looked like a biology class - doing dissections from the look of it. He hadn’t flunked that class in high school, and he still remembered terrorizing his lab partner with the dead pig. He smiled to himself as he watched the students leaning over their trays in pairs. He was feeling furtive and clever, for once. He even told himself he remembered doing the same kind of experiment, even when they started hooking up electrical leads, and the chimeras started to twitch and then lift themselves from the trays.
He whispered to himself “naw, Snake, you better get going. No time for sight seeing” and moved along.
In similar boneheaded fashion, he decided that the water flowing up into the fountain was a pretty neat special effect, and the two-headed giant dozing in the sun was kind of stupid and fake looking. He ducked behind a hedge to avoid a group of students repairing clay golems - Snake hated stupid arts and crafts shit. And finally, he ignored the obelisk covered with warnings at the base of the hill. He was focused only on the tower, and all the money he imagined inside it. He sprinted up the hill in a low crouch.
~~~
In his study, Eliphas Levi carefully balanced two mirrors on their edges, facing each other. Slowly, ever so slowly, he rotated one of them on its edge, until it was a full 180 degrees from its original orientation. He pushed the mirrors toward each other until only a sliver of space remained between them, peeked into the space there, and then nodded to himself. Yes, this would do nicely.
~~~
Snake crouched on the ground, breathing heavily. He really needed to quit the smokes - he was so out of shape! The hill really hadn’t looked that tall down at the bottom, but damn, he felt like he’d been running for ages! He glared up at the tower. So close, and yet so far! Still, he wasn’t going to pay back his debts just cooling his heels. He rubbed the stitch in his side and started back up the hill, at a slow trot this time.
Twenty minutes later, when he still hadn’t made any progress, he started to get a little worried. What if someone looked over and saw him here? There was basically no cover on this stupid hill until he reached the tower. And it seemed like every side of the hill faced the academy, somehow. He rubbed the sweat from his forehead and kept climbing.
Two hours later, he finally conceded defeat. He didn’t know why, but that stupid tower just kept getting farther and farther away. Maybe there was some kind of slide pushing him backward on the hill? He didn’t know, and at this point he didn’t even care. He was exhausted, he was bound to get caught any minute now, and he didn’t think he was going to get the money. He turned around and started trudging… uphill.
Snake stopped and stared at his feet. They were definitely pointed uphill. Definitely. Hadn’t he… didn’t he… well, he was pretty damned tired. He just got turned around. This time, though, he was definitely going to walk back down the hill. Maybe he’d find some stuff in the student dorms. These boarding school kids had to be loaded.
Again, he pointed himself downhill. Again, the tower still loomed in front of him, at the top of the hill. Snake laughed nervously. “You’re losing it, man” he said aloud, not even caring that someone might hear him. Nobody had heard him yet, and he’d been here for hours. Thinking of this, he finally noticed that the Tower’s shadow still lay just so across the ground - it hadn’t moved at all, in all the time he’d spent on this stupid hill.
Snake stared at the shadow, then glanced behind him. Yep, there was the tower and the same shadow, back up the hill behind him too. He sat down on the grass, buried his head in his hands, and started to cry.
~~~
Back in town, Annie Barrett muted the television and answered the telephone. Her eyes lit up when she realized who it was. “Oh, Uncle Eli, I can’t tell you how grateful I am! You really think you can keep Jesse out of trouble for a little while? Longer than a little while, even? I just didn’t know who else to turn to… I don’t know what I did wrong with that boy. If you say so, Uncle Eli. Maybe with some distance from the bad company he’s been keeping he’ll be able to turn his act around, though. Yes, of course, I’ll drop by for tea sometime soon. Thank you again! Thank you so much. I know Jesse will thank you too, some day. This really is for the best.”
Something remarkable and rare happened then: Snake had an idea. His eyes bulged. This was even a good idea. He remembered now that when he was a kid, his Mom had asked for money once, and exactly once. She was a proud woman, Annie Barrett. She went to this old guy - she called him uncle, though she explained that he wasn’t actually her uncle. It was a complicated cousin relationship or some shit. Anyway, this guy was a real genuine rich old fart in a fancy apartment, and she’d brought Jesse along to meet him. He’d been under strict instructions to keep his mouth shut unless Uncle Eli asked him something, not to touch anything, and to try to be good. He’d tried. He must have succeeded reasonably well, because Mom had walked out of there with a promise of cash to help out with whatever crisis had been plaguing her, and dinners at home had actually been something to look forward to for a little while. He could still remember how many mirrors the old guy had on the walls - must’ve been a real vain sucker. Snake grinned. If it worked for his Mom, why not for him? One way or another, Uncle Eli was going to pay up.
It was late when he pulled up in front of the building where Uncle Eli apparently lived now - Snake was feeling a little nervous, looking at the shabby facade. Either his memory of the place was lousy, or the old guy had moved. Either way, it might mean he had less disposable income, and that could be bad. Still, it was worth a shot. He was family, and what was family for? And the lights were on, up on the top floor. With any luck, his new favorite relative was still awake.
~~~
“Yes, but why should I give you a damn cent?”
Things had been going so well. Uncle Eli had recognized him right away and invited him inside. The apartment was almost exactly as Snake remembered it - it sure was nicer on the inside than the outside - and that bolstered his spirits considerably. He turned down the offer of a glass of water - he’d already had enough in the rain, ha ha, thanks - and got right down to business. And after explaining in great detail what hard times had befallen him (mostly in vague terms, though with a few whopping lies thrown in for good measure and sympathy) he’d thought it was all in the bag. Evidently not.
“I just told you.” To Snake’s ears, he still sounded more injured than pissed, which was good. Maybe the old guy was just hard of hearing?
“Yes, yes, you told me quite a lot of things. Maybe some of it was even true. But I’ve heard about your reputation, young man. Your mother still calls me once in a while, and you haven’t exactly been the soul of discretion with your little exploits, now have you, Jesse? So, why should I give you, a perfectly common criminal - and not even a particularly good one at that - a damn cent?” He took a sip of water after his little speech, and that was what really sent Snake over the edge. Here he was, just trying to wet his whistle, because calling his own blood kin all kinds of nasty names was thirsty work.
Snake pulled his piece from the waistband of his jeans and leveled it at Uncle Eli’s head. At his water glass, to be precise. “How about this? Is this good enough reason for you?”
The terrified expression on the old man’s face was exactly what he wanted to see, and soon enough he got what he wanted. Old Eli was smart enough not to keep lots of cash money at his place, but he told Snake exactly where and how to find his stash, hidden away in a building at some stupid boarding school. He was real cooperative after the gun came out. Still, Snake didn’t want him calling the cops - or even worse, his Mom - after he left, so he shot him on the way out. So much for rich old relatives.
~~~
In his windowless study, Eliphas Levi stared into a mirror which somehow reflected the street outside. He saw his young relative slosh through puddles and get back into the vehicle he’d arrived in, fiddle with something under the steering column, and skid off through the rain. He smiled to himself and turned to another mirror, this one apparently reflecting himself, though looking considerably worse for the wear with a gunshot wound in his chest. He breathed on the mirror, fogging it up, and in the living room the body and blood disappeared. So far, so good.
~~~
It took Snake a little while to find the school. The Levi Academy of the Arts was way out in the countryside, a real snooty place, evidently. Reluctantly, he left his gun in the car when he parked it at a little ‘scenic spot’ about a mile from the school. The last thing he needed was to lose his temper and start shooting up a school. He was dumb, but not quite that dumb. Still, he had great directions, and he was sure the old guy had been telling the truth about where he kept his cash: just inside the tall square tower on the hill at the back side of the school. The whole school was surrounded by a tall wall, so he’d have to sneak in through the front gate and try to keep a low profile. For the kind of cash Uncle Eli promised was in the tower, he could do that. For that kind of cash, he could do almost anything.
~~~
Eliphas Levi leaned back in the chair and laced his fingers across his stomach. “Do you understand?” he asked of the cloudy mirror on his desk.
"I understand the instructions, Headmaster, but not the situation. This intruder thinks there's some sort of treasure here?"
"He's a very literal sort. I told him that I put my money in the school, and so that's where he's going."
“Ah. I see. So, the intruder is to have free passage to the Office of the Exchequer. We are not to interfere directly, but instead provide subtle disincentive for continuing on his errand.”
“Precisely. Inform me if he changes his mind and leaves, or if he makes it to the hill.”
~~~
Snake had never seen such lax security, especially at a fancy place like this. The big gate just swung open silently when he touched it. He’d slipped in and started getting the lay of the land right away. It must be amazingly easy to skip classes here, though he had to admit it was kind of a hike to go anywhere. He almost envied the little brats in the classrooms. As he skulked across the grounds, he peeked in a window at some of them.
It looked like a biology class - doing dissections from the look of it. He hadn’t flunked that class in high school, and he still remembered terrorizing his lab partner with the dead pig. He smiled to himself as he watched the students leaning over their trays in pairs. He was feeling furtive and clever, for once. He even told himself he remembered doing the same kind of experiment, even when they started hooking up electrical leads, and the chimeras started to twitch and then lift themselves from the trays.
He whispered to himself “naw, Snake, you better get going. No time for sight seeing” and moved along.
In similar boneheaded fashion, he decided that the water flowing up into the fountain was a pretty neat special effect, and the two-headed giant dozing in the sun was kind of stupid and fake looking. He ducked behind a hedge to avoid a group of students repairing clay golems - Snake hated stupid arts and crafts shit. And finally, he ignored the obelisk covered with warnings at the base of the hill. He was focused only on the tower, and all the money he imagined inside it. He sprinted up the hill in a low crouch.
~~~
In his study, Eliphas Levi carefully balanced two mirrors on their edges, facing each other. Slowly, ever so slowly, he rotated one of them on its edge, until it was a full 180 degrees from its original orientation. He pushed the mirrors toward each other until only a sliver of space remained between them, peeked into the space there, and then nodded to himself. Yes, this would do nicely.
~~~
Snake crouched on the ground, breathing heavily. He really needed to quit the smokes - he was so out of shape! The hill really hadn’t looked that tall down at the bottom, but damn, he felt like he’d been running for ages! He glared up at the tower. So close, and yet so far! Still, he wasn’t going to pay back his debts just cooling his heels. He rubbed the stitch in his side and started back up the hill, at a slow trot this time.
Twenty minutes later, when he still hadn’t made any progress, he started to get a little worried. What if someone looked over and saw him here? There was basically no cover on this stupid hill until he reached the tower. And it seemed like every side of the hill faced the academy, somehow. He rubbed the sweat from his forehead and kept climbing.
Two hours later, he finally conceded defeat. He didn’t know why, but that stupid tower just kept getting farther and farther away. Maybe there was some kind of slide pushing him backward on the hill? He didn’t know, and at this point he didn’t even care. He was exhausted, he was bound to get caught any minute now, and he didn’t think he was going to get the money. He turned around and started trudging… uphill.
Snake stopped and stared at his feet. They were definitely pointed uphill. Definitely. Hadn’t he… didn’t he… well, he was pretty damned tired. He just got turned around. This time, though, he was definitely going to walk back down the hill. Maybe he’d find some stuff in the student dorms. These boarding school kids had to be loaded.
Again, he pointed himself downhill. Again, the tower still loomed in front of him, at the top of the hill. Snake laughed nervously. “You’re losing it, man” he said aloud, not even caring that someone might hear him. Nobody had heard him yet, and he’d been here for hours. Thinking of this, he finally noticed that the Tower’s shadow still lay just so across the ground - it hadn’t moved at all, in all the time he’d spent on this stupid hill.
Snake stared at the shadow, then glanced behind him. Yep, there was the tower and the same shadow, back up the hill behind him too. He sat down on the grass, buried his head in his hands, and started to cry.
~~~
Back in town, Annie Barrett muted the television and answered the telephone. Her eyes lit up when she realized who it was. “Oh, Uncle Eli, I can’t tell you how grateful I am! You really think you can keep Jesse out of trouble for a little while? Longer than a little while, even? I just didn’t know who else to turn to… I don’t know what I did wrong with that boy. If you say so, Uncle Eli. Maybe with some distance from the bad company he’s been keeping he’ll be able to turn his act around, though. Yes, of course, I’ll drop by for tea sometime soon. Thank you again! Thank you so much. I know Jesse will thank you too, some day. This really is for the best.”