(no subject)
You are not the person I thought I knew and never have been. The
person I know would not hook up with someone when still involved with
another girl, would not use someone for sex or whatever reason, and
would not lie through his teeth.
I don't believe a word you have ever said. Your actions are
unbelievable - after so much time, after how good I have been to you,
after what happened over the summer or Christmas break, that you could
do such cruel things to me. But now I realize - everything since we
met has been a lie. That means that you were always this selfish,
dishonest bastard who has strung me along. I don't believe that you
ever loved me or that you even thought you meant the words when you
said them.
I can't believe how right I was about so many things. I wanted to
believe in the good in you, that you would never do such terrible
things to me or lie to me. But I was right in the back of my mind
when I doubted the sincerity of your words.
I deserve so much better than this, so much better than you. I
deserve to be respected, and I deserve to be with someone who will
treat me right.
I have always been honest with you, I have never taken advantage of
you, and I have never manipulated you. Everything I have ever done
was because I wanted to be with you.
You may think that you are either doing me a favor by cutting off
contact, that it would be easier for me to get over if I didn't know
the truth, but I think it's something else entirely: You just don't
want to have to deal with it. You don't have the fucking balls to
just pick up the phone and tell me that it's over. You don't want to
feel guilty because you know exactly how fucking terrible what you are
doing is. That despite numerous conversations about you not being
interested in other girls and numerous conversations about how your
relationship with Erica is completely platonic, you two are now
involved. Yeah, I agree- it was a long time in coming. You are such
a fucking hypocrite.
You amaze me - the way you can consciously say to yourself that you
will not talk to me, not pick up your phone. I have no idea what you
are trying to achieve, but what you are doing makes you one hell of a
terrible fucking person. You are throwing so much away with one
action. And for what? I would expect nothing less if we were only
friends. What you're doing is immature and horrible.
You used me. You knew that whatever you did to me, that I would
always let you back in, want you back. You kept me around as your
fall back.
BUT I AM DONE. I have had enough of your dishonesty and the pain that
your actions have caused me. I cannot believe that I let myself waste
a good part of the last 3 years of my life spending time with or
agonizing over you.
But it's not my fault - you did this. You are the one to blame. You
have been a complete asshole to me when I have been nothing but
supportive and kind to you. You once said that I was the only person
to truly love you - it's true, and you've carelessly thrown it away
just like you discarded me. I have never been so disappointed in
someone in my entire life.
But it's fine. I am very happy without you. I'm leaving for France
in less than a week, finishing up my 3rd year of college, and where
are you? Fucking nowhere, stuck in Santa Rosa. No wonder you
complain about how shitty your life is - you fuck up every good thing
in your life, including your relationship with me. You are a failure
who will always end up with alcoholic bimbos because that's exactly
what you deserve. And you don't deserve me.
Fuck you, man. Fuck you.
person I know would not hook up with someone when still involved with
another girl, would not use someone for sex or whatever reason, and
would not lie through his teeth.
I don't believe a word you have ever said. Your actions are
unbelievable - after so much time, after how good I have been to you,
after what happened over the summer or Christmas break, that you could
do such cruel things to me. But now I realize - everything since we
met has been a lie. That means that you were always this selfish,
dishonest bastard who has strung me along. I don't believe that you
ever loved me or that you even thought you meant the words when you
said them.
I can't believe how right I was about so many things. I wanted to
believe in the good in you, that you would never do such terrible
things to me or lie to me. But I was right in the back of my mind
when I doubted the sincerity of your words.
I deserve so much better than this, so much better than you. I
deserve to be respected, and I deserve to be with someone who will
treat me right.
I have always been honest with you, I have never taken advantage of
you, and I have never manipulated you. Everything I have ever done
was because I wanted to be with you.
You may think that you are either doing me a favor by cutting off
contact, that it would be easier for me to get over if I didn't know
the truth, but I think it's something else entirely: You just don't
want to have to deal with it. You don't have the fucking balls to
just pick up the phone and tell me that it's over. You don't want to
feel guilty because you know exactly how fucking terrible what you are
doing is. That despite numerous conversations about you not being
interested in other girls and numerous conversations about how your
relationship with Erica is completely platonic, you two are now
involved. Yeah, I agree- it was a long time in coming. You are such
a fucking hypocrite.
You amaze me - the way you can consciously say to yourself that you
will not talk to me, not pick up your phone. I have no idea what you
are trying to achieve, but what you are doing makes you one hell of a
terrible fucking person. You are throwing so much away with one
action. And for what? I would expect nothing less if we were only
friends. What you're doing is immature and horrible.
You used me. You knew that whatever you did to me, that I would
always let you back in, want you back. You kept me around as your
fall back.
BUT I AM DONE. I have had enough of your dishonesty and the pain that
your actions have caused me. I cannot believe that I let myself waste
a good part of the last 3 years of my life spending time with or
agonizing over you.
But it's not my fault - you did this. You are the one to blame. You
have been a complete asshole to me when I have been nothing but
supportive and kind to you. You once said that I was the only person
to truly love you - it's true, and you've carelessly thrown it away
just like you discarded me. I have never been so disappointed in
someone in my entire life.
But it's fine. I am very happy without you. I'm leaving for France
in less than a week, finishing up my 3rd year of college, and where
are you? Fucking nowhere, stuck in Santa Rosa. No wonder you
complain about how shitty your life is - you fuck up every good thing
in your life, including your relationship with me. You are a failure
who will always end up with alcoholic bimbos because that's exactly
what you deserve. And you don't deserve me.
Fuck you, man. Fuck you.