Defaced Humanity
I've decided to actually write more intimate and personal things on Livejournal, why? because, not many people know that I have an account.
Anyways, yea, today is Saturday. Went to the clinic to see a doctor who would examine my genital. Basically, I'm fine, I just have a yeast infection which caused another infection called cervicitist. Not a big deal, she gave me something to take orally, which was a one-day treatment. I'll be fine, the one-day treatment should kill of all the bacteria/fungi in me. Along with that, it should also kill off the yeast infection problems. So, yea, not a big deal...I went with Serhan. I'm so glad he came with me. Now I know what the true meaning of friendship and caring really is. I told him many a times that I was sorry that I had to drag him along 8 o clock in the morning with me to go to some stupid clinic because, I was being stupid and got infected. He said, it was okay, that's what friends are for.
Yes, I know he cares alot about me. No doubt about that now. He tried to cheer me up, and calm me down when I got angry. On the way there (located in Jamaica) we talked about many things. He told this one joke which I thought was REALLY funny.
Him:"How do chinese parents come up with names for their children?"
Me: "...how"
Him:"they take everything from the kitchen and throw it down the stairs.
Me: "........lol..."
Yea, that actually cracked me up. He did also. Also on our way there, and back, we talked about his depression. I told him that, even though it may seem okay, it really isn't. I encouraged him to go see the doctor, in which he said he will sometime this month. We also talked alot about school, about people with shady attitudes. You know, two-faces. God I hate those people. We also talked about the past. Yea...the past, now those of you who KNOW me, knows that I don't usually mention my past often. Maybe, I do at times, but never much in depth. So, yea, we talked about the past. I guess, it all sums up to the fact that, we are growing up and we needed the past because, it makes us who we are now.
As you can tell by the tone of my writing that, I'm not much in a great, or happy mood. I know nothing's wrong with me, but, I'm just so "blah" right now. I really don't feel like doing much. Except for, well, maybe just play the piano and sleep and eat. Actually, that's all I've ever wanted to do. I know I know, I'm a boring ass person, but sometimes, you just have to be boring to be fun.
Other than Serhan, there were others who I told this to, not alot, but only the people I trust, or I know would have experience. Kenny, was another one that actually cared. He also offered to go to "The Door" with me today in the morning. But, we called it off, cuz I made the appointment with Serhan already. He said, if anything, he'll be there for me. By gosh, I've never noticed how many people actually cared. Well, I mean, I know kenny cares. He is my best friend. I know I can tell him anything and trust him without any doubts.
Other than him, other people who knew were Debra, Jess, Wolfie, and Mario.
Right now, I'm not doing much, except just, talking to Michael. Yea, after all of it, I found myself talking to him again. I guess people do get over things. I found myself reading his Xanga last night, and he admit to the fact that, he once did intentionally hurt me. I guess I really can't blame him, because, I'm such an asshole. I don't know how many Sorry's I have to tell him to ever commeasurate. I did have a great time with him back in the past. But I guess things tend to change. He said that, out of many people, I was the only one that ever got him to stop smoking shit. Wow. I felt, somewhat proud in a sense, that, He cared enough for me to actually stop smoking. I remember back then, we should get into shitty ass arguements about this stuff. But, I guess...I did knock some sense into him. And now that he doesn't smoke, everything is good. Even his life is somewhat better.
I never knew I had such power to change people. I know some who are so into smoking that, no matter what their loved ones say, they never quit, or can't seem to get rid of it. This is like, saving a person's life. I saved a person's life.
How ironic, I was the one that didn't give two shits about my own life, yet I go around changing people? Almost hypocritical. I guess I am a hippie. I cut myself and ask people not to cut themselves? I drown my self in misery for years and tell people that life is brighter on the other side of the mountain??
Though, when turned around to me, I would deny all that. I don't know. I guess, I would want every bad shit to happen to me, than to other people. Why? because, my life is worthless. I can have all the fame, popularity and the money but on the other hand, I might never have happiness. I guess, I just don't want others to be like me. That's why I encourage them to be better. I don't want them to be like me, moping around everyday like a piece of shit. I don't.
And, for those of you, who actually care to read all this. Thank you. Most would be like "oh, it's Anita, she's great and all that, she won't have any troubles" yea, I know how it is. I've been around it long enough. I haven't said anything and haven't told people.
My life is like a dying day,
trapped between the mystic dawn
and darkness of the night.
Yea, alittle pre-verse to my next big epic poem.
sike.
Oh, and before I go
Fuck all you 9/11 conformists.
Anyways, yea, today is Saturday. Went to the clinic to see a doctor who would examine my genital. Basically, I'm fine, I just have a yeast infection which caused another infection called cervicitist. Not a big deal, she gave me something to take orally, which was a one-day treatment. I'll be fine, the one-day treatment should kill of all the bacteria/fungi in me. Along with that, it should also kill off the yeast infection problems. So, yea, not a big deal...I went with Serhan. I'm so glad he came with me. Now I know what the true meaning of friendship and caring really is. I told him many a times that I was sorry that I had to drag him along 8 o clock in the morning with me to go to some stupid clinic because, I was being stupid and got infected. He said, it was okay, that's what friends are for.
Yes, I know he cares alot about me. No doubt about that now. He tried to cheer me up, and calm me down when I got angry. On the way there (located in Jamaica) we talked about many things. He told this one joke which I thought was REALLY funny.
Him:"How do chinese parents come up with names for their children?"
Me: "...how"
Him:"they take everything from the kitchen and throw it down the stairs.
Me: "........lol..."
Yea, that actually cracked me up. He did also. Also on our way there, and back, we talked about his depression. I told him that, even though it may seem okay, it really isn't. I encouraged him to go see the doctor, in which he said he will sometime this month. We also talked alot about school, about people with shady attitudes. You know, two-faces. God I hate those people. We also talked about the past. Yea...the past, now those of you who KNOW me, knows that I don't usually mention my past often. Maybe, I do at times, but never much in depth. So, yea, we talked about the past. I guess, it all sums up to the fact that, we are growing up and we needed the past because, it makes us who we are now.
As you can tell by the tone of my writing that, I'm not much in a great, or happy mood. I know nothing's wrong with me, but, I'm just so "blah" right now. I really don't feel like doing much. Except for, well, maybe just play the piano and sleep and eat. Actually, that's all I've ever wanted to do. I know I know, I'm a boring ass person, but sometimes, you just have to be boring to be fun.
Other than Serhan, there were others who I told this to, not alot, but only the people I trust, or I know would have experience. Kenny, was another one that actually cared. He also offered to go to "The Door" with me today in the morning. But, we called it off, cuz I made the appointment with Serhan already. He said, if anything, he'll be there for me. By gosh, I've never noticed how many people actually cared. Well, I mean, I know kenny cares. He is my best friend. I know I can tell him anything and trust him without any doubts.
Other than him, other people who knew were Debra, Jess, Wolfie, and Mario.
Right now, I'm not doing much, except just, talking to Michael. Yea, after all of it, I found myself talking to him again. I guess people do get over things. I found myself reading his Xanga last night, and he admit to the fact that, he once did intentionally hurt me. I guess I really can't blame him, because, I'm such an asshole. I don't know how many Sorry's I have to tell him to ever commeasurate. I did have a great time with him back in the past. But I guess things tend to change. He said that, out of many people, I was the only one that ever got him to stop smoking shit. Wow. I felt, somewhat proud in a sense, that, He cared enough for me to actually stop smoking. I remember back then, we should get into shitty ass arguements about this stuff. But, I guess...I did knock some sense into him. And now that he doesn't smoke, everything is good. Even his life is somewhat better.
I never knew I had such power to change people. I know some who are so into smoking that, no matter what their loved ones say, they never quit, or can't seem to get rid of it. This is like, saving a person's life. I saved a person's life.
How ironic, I was the one that didn't give two shits about my own life, yet I go around changing people? Almost hypocritical. I guess I am a hippie. I cut myself and ask people not to cut themselves? I drown my self in misery for years and tell people that life is brighter on the other side of the mountain??
Though, when turned around to me, I would deny all that. I don't know. I guess, I would want every bad shit to happen to me, than to other people. Why? because, my life is worthless. I can have all the fame, popularity and the money but on the other hand, I might never have happiness. I guess, I just don't want others to be like me. That's why I encourage them to be better. I don't want them to be like me, moping around everyday like a piece of shit. I don't.
And, for those of you, who actually care to read all this. Thank you. Most would be like "oh, it's Anita, she's great and all that, she won't have any troubles" yea, I know how it is. I've been around it long enough. I haven't said anything and haven't told people.
My life is like a dying day,
trapped between the mystic dawn
and darkness of the night.
Yea, alittle pre-verse to my next big epic poem.
sike.
Oh, and before I go
Fuck all you 9/11 conformists.