Comments | lpmufinfiend: Chapter Two

lpmufinfiend

Chapter Two

Nov 21, 2007 22:05

Second chapter of my Kara/Lee/Kara/Leoben fic. I've never written anything as long as this is going to be, so I don't know what I'm doing. Basically. Unbeta'd; if you read and spot something that doesn't fly, please comment about it and I'll patch it up. Any reactions at all are welcome ( Read more... )

Comments 5

dangermousie November 23 2007, 04:52:27 UTC

This was excellent. It also really creeped me out, the way anything with Leoben (that is well written) usually does.

Can't wait to read more!

lpmufinfiend November 23 2007, 05:01:15 UTC

Squee! Thankyou.

And he is creepy. I don't know why I go for that, but I definitely do. It's a bad pattern. And Kara is the me I am damn glad I will never be. Even if she is incredibly sexy, certain situations and people (Leoben in particular) bring out the damage and baggage in her. Lots.

I swear I wasn't bugging for comments. But feedback certainly does make me more inclined to continue-- I've got the plot for the next two chapters outlined on like, six purple stickies littered all over my desktop.

dangermousie November 23 2007, 17:19:17 UTC

Oh, I know you weren't asking for comments. But I am glad you pointed this story out because I love it. And eeee, stickies! Hope they come to fruition.

lpmufinfiend November 23 2007, 17:42:51 UTC

Oh, they are. As we speak. With luck, expect chapter three today or tomorrow.

latteaddict November 26 2007, 10:45:24 UTC

Loving the battle of wills between Kara and Leoben. The contaminated water is a great device, just having it near would make her thirsty and yet she'd have to ask him for fresh drinkable water. Leoben loves to have to upper hand.

I also am intrigued about the things he listed off....

“How do you think you survived an aircraft explosion, made it through this planet’s atmosphere, and landed safely and softly after the subsequent five-mile fall?” He counted the impossibilities on his fingers as she tried to imagine them.

okay, I think I have my answer from the question I asked in the last chapter here..

It’d been days since Kara had appeared to him, two weeks since she’d gone, and still he couldn’t process it, feel it. All he had in him was a little knot of dread, because he knew it was only a matter of time before… well, he wasn’t sure what, but he knew it would be conspicuous and mortifying and would leave him raw, cut open for everyone to stare into. To shake their heads at. To call crazy.It was real to Lee, but Kara disappeared ( ... )