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[lpgurl88]

it comes to the point where i can barely say what i wanna say cuz i feel really selfish guilty sad angry and just overall horrible if i do..
so i have t keep them inside. ica nt type it write it say it or anything.. its all gotta be kept inside. and i friggen hate it

Comments

12/10/05

[rskimski]

jenna... this isn't getting any easier. im so sorry about the phone thing. i dont no what to do any more. i cant do anything right... i just disappoint the people that care about me and thats a small group let me tell you. im not even sure if there is anyone left in it. i thought that with time i would get better but im not better im worse. im never gonna get another girlfriend... i dont even no how i ended up with you. im sorry u ever wasted ur time on me. im such a loser. i sit here and wonder y i have no one to talk to and no one to hold. i hope u no that im not mad at u. i love u so much... if that even matters n e more. u were one in a million jenna rae... but in my case u were one in one, and now im down to 0. i still find my self thinking about you all the time... when im snowboarding and attempting to check out all the chix i just end up thinking about you. im so lost... with my life... and even with god. u probably think i just went to church cause u were there. i really do love god and jesus but im having a hard time proving it... to every one... even him. im sorry im such a jerk. i just dont wanna be sad and alone all my life. i guess i never noticed how much it hurt to be alone till i met you. i dont no if u even think about me but i dont care. y should u. i just had to let it out to someone and ur all i have and i dont even have u. please pray for me. i need it so much. i can only lie to my self for so long b4 i just brake down. pleaz dont hate me... i no people love me but... but i dont think anybody likes me any more. im not sure y. i barely talk to n e one at school. i cant hold a conversation with a girl for more than a mim b4 they just stop talking. i dont think my mom and dad like talking me any more. i guess i just suck. i cant say that not being with u is like not having air... because i could have kept talking to you... no its more like i got my wind knocked out and i cant get it back. theres air all around me but if i cant breath in im still gonna suffocate. what the hell am i gonna do. im sorry i love u so much... it would be easier if i didnt. but i do... more then i ever thought possible. and im so sick of mike and lena trying to hook me up with erica. they try to care but their answer to everything is to go out with erica. id go buy some cats but i dont think they would want to be with me. y... y y y y y... i got to go. well happy... 10th of dec. i dont no if that means n e thing to u or not but it does to me. i love u so much jenna rae. please someone help me... god help me. jenna... i.............................