(no subject)
Ive gone numb again. God, what is wrong with me? I don't have any real reason to be like this. I don't even want to say I am depressed because that usually involves me crying constanly for NO reason. But I can not cry; I almost wish I could. I can't identify what I am feeling... just numb. I have given up on myself it seems like. I don't take my medicine which could result in me dying. I thought I had quit smoking (2 weeks and none) but I took a pack of my dad's cig's. God I feel so guilty but yet I keep lighting them up. He's going to be so disappointed in me. I think he was proud I had quit. All I want is a pill, a downer or something... I don't even like those. I am glad he takes his pain killers with him to work b/c god knows what I would do. I don't think I am suicidal but I don't really care if I live or not. I don't have anyone or anything that's worth it. I am sorry no I am not I don't care.
Linkin Park came on I want to change the channel
Linkin Park came on I want to change the channel